Did I screw up?

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Well, the following scenario happened to me a couple of days ago:

I was sitting in the library when a girl came up to me and started a conversation. Apparently she'd noticed that I was studying Economics like she was. We talked for a little while, and everything seemed to go remarkably well, during which time it transpired that she was in the year above me. She mentioned that she had all her course books from last year and asked whether I wanted to buy them off her. I said that I didn't need them. Then she said that she would give me her phone number anyway just in case - I was a bit confused but took it anyway. Later, when I left the library, I went past another guy whom I recognised from lectures and gave him the girl's phone number which she had written down for me, explaining that I didn't need the books.

It was only some time after I had watched him disappear that I wondered if I had made a mistake - the question is, was the fact that the girl had given me her phone number a thinly veiled hint, or is this just desperate wishful thinking on my part?!

Would be interested to hear what you think...

I cannot even conceive of anyone less qualified than me to discuss this subject, but my initial impression is:

Hell yes, you screwed up!

But you've got both the opportunity and raw material (pretext for another conversation) to salvage the situation...

Aw, yeah I think she wanted you to call her.
Could tell her you lost it?

Hahahaha. Yeah you didn't read between the lines on that one !

This reminds me of when a girl on facebook messaged me after I changed my profile pic to say she thought I looked more hot in the previous pic. So I changed it something else and asked if this one was better. She didn't reply. Woops.

The hint was not "thinly veiled".

Yes, you surely did. I've done a stupid mistake kind of like yours recently and, the last time I saw the girl, she didn't even look at me. But considering she was the one to give you her phone number, I think you still have a good chance with her.

I can see the presumptions that could be made. But i'd advise you to air on the word of caution as you could be wrong in your conclusion.

She could simply be desperate for money and was simply looking for an opportunity to obtain money. I think you can lead yourself into suffering a rather unneccesary disappointment by presuming the intentions of people you meet in such a fashion.

I realise thats somewhat cynical to think like that but i think you would find if you made this conclusion and acted upon it there and then you might have found she repelled from you anyway due to the directness of your approach.

That also goes for you guys who seem to have automatically agreed with the OP's conclusion.

Laz, they're college students. They met in a library. So, really unlikely she's a charlatan!

My intuition tells me she really just wanted rid of those books. Sorry.

Of course you're right, but I would much rather risk "unneccesary disappointment" than miss an opportunity. One must learn to not take rejection too close to heart, it is absolutely inevitable.

What is negative about someone attempting to offload uneeded text books?

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

One can be accussed of being over analyitical when trying to deduce peoples intentions and this scenario has great potential through presumption to lead to unintended consequences of a misunderstanding that could be avoided.

Just sayin'



I was expecting someone to bring up the "risk taking" approach. Yeah by all means if it works for you go for it. But as i said above you better be ready to deal with unintended consequences from presuming intentions that were not there.

You can go down the approach of simply making the move on every opportunity that appears to present itself. But on the otherhand being more observant and keeping a cool head may give you more higher quality opportunities that may lead to more rewarding outcomes.

To chip again here...

First of all, I do not wish to argue with those posters who have correctly pointed out that I could have imagined something that was not there.

What I do wish to stress, however, is that my original post was the result of reflection well after the event rather than reflecting my thoughts at the time of interaction.

As I see it, this is important for two reasons:

1) Given that the potentially harmful over-analysis, if it was such, occured well after the event, the concern voiced that there was a real possibility of getting into trouble due to misinterpretation becomes moot, as at the time of events there was in my mind nothing to misinterpret! Admittedly, if I were to act upon what I analysed afterwards then that danger would still be present, but I'm generally not inclined to do that and anyway, in this case it would not really be feasible having given away the phone number in question!

2) Secondly, the fact that I thought about all this after the moment had gone suggests that the issue I have posed is perhaps more hypothetical than practical. To abstract the post a little, the issue is basically how to read people, and girls specifically. Do they give clear signals? In my experience, I would have to say no. Therefore I have to work with the assumption that they do not give clear signals, in which case things become much more complicated. I either have to look for anything I can notice and try to act on it following Grisha's philosophy of not passing up any potential opportunity, or I have to tread on eggshells and wonder all the time if I'm going to misinterpret things, a very real danger as Laz has pointed out.

All of which leads me to the conclusion, I wish these things were more clear-cut!

And, again, no doubt a splendid example of over-analysis...

There are signals. Rather than not being clear, I would say they are subtle.

When I wasn't aware of them, they seemed unclear. No, they seemed downright invisible. I guess that's pretty unclear. My point is that the signals are there (or aren't if they aren't) it's your receiving apparatus that is on the blink, not the female signaling capabilities. Now I know what the signals look like, I usually know instantly if someone is attracted to me.

I would go to places where there are women and (discreetly) observe body language. One of the main problems I used to have is that I never paid any attention to anything outside the thoughts in my own head, and I would guess that's a common aspie thing. Simply paying attention is a powerful thing.