Losing the "inner" romantic?

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It seems I can't really explain why I'd ask the question in the topic the way I did without giving a bit of background info. So, here it goes...

A few years ago, I considered myself a heavy romantic and thought that most women liked that sort of thing. I did a lot of things at the time I thought would be romantic, like imagine going on walks, writing her a song/poem, saving her life in the most fairy-tale like scenario possible, etc (all with the hint of AS, of course). I used to get really immersed in this sorta thing, until I actually figured out the problem - all that stuff happened before I even built up the courage to talk to her. Not to mention it clouded my judgment, thoughts, and everything else in my life...

Now, years later, I've built up the courage and can talk to women no problem, but it feels like I had to kill the inner romantic and a portion of myself, by extension. Because of that, I feel that when the possibility of a relationship arises, I may not be able to provide enough in terms of emotional output and wind up withdrawing completely (this was what happened with the last attempt).

I guess my question is if anyone here has experienced this sort of thing before? And if you have, is there a way to, I guess, "recapture" that level of emotion and still be able to retain some sense of self??

i think that you have a healthier balance now, in the sense that you don't have the one-sided romatic aspect anymore. what that probably means is that you have matured enough to connect with a person based on your chemisty and interactions together, instead of the feelings being based on the IDEA of the relationship.

it sounds like you are doing less of the "pedestalising" (considering woemn to be perfect and untouchable) and approaching women more realistically. but i don't think it will mean that all romance is gone. i think that you will have more of a subject for your affections versus an object.

it's possible (and even likely) that once you are in a relationship with someone, that inner romantic side will be rekindled. you'll likely want to be with her a lot and feel strong emotions towards her and want to show how you feel with gestures and such. since you felt that before you will likely feel good embracing that side. i don't think the inner romantic side is "lost"... i think it is probably just dormant.

also, one last point - some women are heavy romantics and some are not. and... some MEN are heavy romantics and some are not. putting aside how women might feel about that aspect, it's quite possible that you are a man who likes romantic stuff. nothing wrong with that, and i hope you will continue to be honest with yourself if it resurfaces.

Yeah, maybe you shouldn't be that romantic at first and try to build it up after establishing that she is considering a relationship with you.
You'll know if she likes this about you or not.
I have done the whole romantic thing and I know that you need a connection before trying to go further.

I'm insane but golden.
Anyway, it seems that you should think less about wanting and more about you. You have to make changes to the life you have. In a relationship, it's not about doing only what you want, it's about comprimising.

Ditto.

I ditched my poet side a long time ago.

and it was for the better; poet guys are seen as wusses.

male poets are often highly coveted indeed, as are artists (on AVERAGE they have more relationships and sex partners than non-artists). think Leonard Cohen before he recorded music. but it's important to not just write poems FOR someone, though that is appreciated too. there is a reason men do it: it WORKS. it's all a matter of timing and carefully choosing your subject

it's all a case of judging what is considered 'too much'. sorta