How often does fear of crime prevent you dating?

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I've pulled out of a few opportunities with women because of a fear of crime. I'm beginning to come round to the idea that since we only live once you've got to take a few risks. In the past though I've a few times not pursued the possibility of a relationship with a woman because I thought by the things she was saying, "She might have a family who will bring trouble my way. Maybe a brother who will beat me up if I say one wrong thing to her or she might have friends who are drug addicts who ask me for money."

Tonight I'm doing something I usually wouldn't - meeting up with a guy who I found somewhere to store furniture for free. He's not like me at all. He's got lots of friends, and has been in prison for a year for beating someone up badly but he told me he only did it in self defence and maybe it's true. I'm not exaggerating, though, when I say he's the person who's been most friendly to me in years who isn't a professional. He waited for me outside the local shop once and walked home with me.

He's told me he can get me a date with a woman. I'm a little scared because I don't know what kind of people I'll be getting involved with but I'm going along anyway just to try to develop some sense of belonging with other people. If I always reject invitations to friendship, I'll probably always be alone.

So has anyone else thought about fear of crime a lot when it comes to relationships?

No. Never.

Uh no.
I just prefer to enjoy the ride.
Can't live in fear.

Can't say fear of crime has ever been a factor. Maybe you should have your fear of crime treated if it prevents you from doing things.

If the area you live in is that bad, move.

I don't really hang around people who have been to prison or have any serious criminal records, but if one of those people offered to find me a date, I imagine I'd be wary, too.

I agree. I think you have a phobia that should probably be treated, and at the same time think what you are doing with this fella is probably a bad idea and may wind up deepening your phobia when it has a bad outcome.

I'm sorry but just because someone has been to jail, doesn't mean they're going to be trying to get everyone they meet into trouble. Get some perspective.

I got stood up by the guy. Didn't reply when I contacted by the phone even though earlier in the night he asked me round. Bizarre and upsetting.

I'm surprised no one else is afraid of crime as much as me.

Sorry, I don't know a lot of people who have spent time in jail. Can you tell me what it's like? I understand the idea of forgiveness and having paid your debt to society but I still think certain personality types are more likely to spend time behind bars than others, and personality types never change. What did you do and how long were you in?

Fear holds you back from being all you can be. I do not.

I've never been inside. I know people who have, some of them still commit crimes but it doesn't mean they're going to bring everyone they meet into it. Even friends.

All the time. I fear the possibility of being accused of committing a crime (sexual harassment, date rape). That's if I could date in the first place.

I think you'll be fine. To cheer you up, here is someone who I hardly think you'll ever come in contact with.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-tell ... jus,17618/

Where do you live? If you live in most cities, you simply have to know what places to avoid. If you live somewhere like Gary, Indiana or East St. Louis, Illinois, you probably should just move and avoid the whole city. If you live in a rural area, I suggest counseling because fear of crime is highly irrational. It's highly improbable any person will be a victim of violent crime, even less so if you're male. Most people who are murdered are killed by people they know and not random strangers. Most robbers/muggers would prefer not to risk a murder charge if you just give them the money.

I've never thought about crime in relation to my dating life. It hasn't really crossed my mind

i am simply not up to the task of being the protecter. if i were lucky enough to have a SO, i would not know how to defend them against a meanie. hell, i can't even defend myself against a meanie.