Intelligence and dating.

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I'm curious, how many of you would date someone not nearly as intellectually endowed as you, or conversely, someone much smarter than you, and what intellectual abilities do you wish your partner to have?

I ask because regardless of intelligence, I think I think people generally have certain intellectual needs.

I think there's a difference between innate intelligence and how someone uses the degree of intelligence that he has. If a man is intellectually curious and flexible in his thinking, I would date him even if he was not as smart as I am. Conversely, if he was set in his thinking and refused to consider other points of view or change his opinions, I would be unlikely to date him even if he was a lot smarter than I am.

On the other hand, I'm not as flexible as the above might make me sound. I don't think I could be with someone who just had little to offer in terms of interesting ideas or topics of conversation. And if he was a lot smarter than I am, I think I would feel intimidated.

For me intellectual compatibility is very important. I would want my partner to challenge me intellectually and help me to progress and vice versa. I was once in a relationship with a person who wasn't as intellectually endowed as me. It may sound harsh but after some time together I started feeling like my brain was dying from loneliness.
I might date someone smarter or less smart than me because it takes time to find out if we're compatible but if I can't connect with a person intellectually I find it very hard to connect otherwise.

I agree with Keira.



The best relationship of my life was also with the smartest person (also Aspie )
and sometimes I'm afraid I'll never find someone who can challenge me like he could-
he's responsible for a total revolution about my views on everything under the sun,
and I made him re-think things as well....like his knee-jerk defense of the "free" market.

~sigh~

someone a little smarter than me, i prefer.

This.

Why ?.

stupider than me i'd feel uncomfortable.
too much smarter than me, i'd feel stupid.
a little smarter than me i'd be able to learn new things without feeling like a child.

added i like my men to be in control, so intelligence (i think) goes hand in hand.

I think smart women love men who respect their intelligence and have the patience to teach them new things.

As long as we like sex we will get along just fine

thats not a relationship if it's just sex.
it's fuck-buddies.

True I had a total of three of them in high school I can sleep with about any girl just cant date anyone thats a whole diffrent story and it would take a long time to explain why

I think what makes this easy - people with low intelligence often resent and can't stand those who do, hence intelligent people tend to date together because they seem to find that the further down the chain they go the more their resented/disliked. It also doesn't help when you're best traits and even your humanity itself is invisible or even seen as 'weakness' to people in that direction.

This is my opinion as well. The truth is I am in a relationship now with a very intelligent guy, it is a positive feedback loop being together. In some ways we make wonder-twins puns because of how there is such an synergy between us. It is magical on levels I cannot describe.

He has never been in a relationship like this before.

So how important is intellectual compatibility to me? It is very important.

I have dated guys who are more intelligent than me, but once you get to a certian level you tend to be more specialized in your knowledge so those minute general differences do not matter as much. You tend to respect each other's respective knowledge base.

I just need someone that has a kind of intelligence I can respect, and whom I can talk to about things of substance with.

I once dated someone who much smarter than me in terms of IQ. He even said he had to talk down to people because he was on such a different page than them I never thought of him as that smart. I dated someone else who (I thought) I could hold intelligent conversations with, but he broke up with me because I was "too smart"...we were just knowledgeable in different subjects, and he interpreted that as me being smarter than him, which he found threatening.

It wouldn't matter to me much. On one hand, if I was more intelligent, I love teaching people things I'm interested in, and if she was more intelligent, I love learning new things.