Don't whine/complain about your dating/dateless situation

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Don't whine or complain about your dating/dateless situation - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

This is one of my pet peeves about these forums, the incessant whining about "I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend" or whatever. If you're only looking at the negatives in your life like that, you won't be able to focus very well on the positives that will attract someone to you. If you don't have anything good or interesting going on, start looking for something (besides video games, unless you want to only draw from the very small pool of girls that are into video games). That's a start, if you want someone to be interested you have to be interesting (it's not that hard). Don't waste a chunk of you best years like I did with my early to mid 20's being boring!

Books on things that trip us up (nonverbal communication, flirtation, art of conversation, etc), dating forums, matchmaking sites - USE THEM! Take a proactive role in becoming more of the person you want to be. If you're not sure what that is, the odds are good you will find some ideas along the way (either in things you read of from people you meet). Take some free time to peruse the book stores in your area to arm yourself with some knowledge about how we are (or aren't) so we have that to draw from down the road.

Dating books: I was doing it soooo incredibly wrong it's not even funny. I was like a lost puppy for so long. DON'T be like that.

Communication books: Learning how to talk to people is huge (How To Win Friends & Influence People type books). Books on non-verbal behaviors is probably the biggest thing to look up (if you're like me). Examples and descriptions of things to look for can help decipher what a woman is telling you. If you see one sign, you might see many more - but I didn't see ANY of them nor knew they existed until I was 25!

Magazines: Stay up on style and fitness, not to mention interesting things going on in the world. Looking good might seem superficial, but it says something about how you feel about yourself and how you value what other people think of you. You DON'T need to spend thousands of dollars on top notch designer labels nor spend all day in the gym getting ripped like a body builder.

Dating sites: Send messages, try flirting (even if it's not serious). Who the F cares if you get a response or not? Use it as practice but don't put much stock in the results. You never know, you might just get a date from it!

I'm sure there are some other things one could get involved with or interested in to help move yourself towards meeting someone, getting a date, and maybe even getting laid! Just know one thing, if you're wallowing in your misery, all you're going to get is more misery. Is that what you really want? If so, continue on. If not, get off you arse and start doing something about it.

ooh they won't like this.

That kinda sounded like an everest college commercial...

If people don't like this kind of advice, that means there are more hapless dudes not competing for eligible single girls. In a way I'm OK with that (more for me!), but if there's something I can share to help someone get out of that rut, why not share it?

Also, are you stalking me now?

It sounds pathetic.

Someone comes along and says this about once every few weeks.

Sounds like a sticky is in order.

Fine.

So déjà vu.


Instead of being the Professor dating expert here, write some book and publish it , you may make a fortune! The capital letters remind me of such authors.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Mar 2011, 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Screw this. I'm already boring, I can't be bothered to change that.

I can't get laid

Other people have already written some good books on things that can help. I don't want to make a fortune, I just want to pass on the experience I had in emerging from a dateless loser to a somewhat interesting guy (I'm no expert and am far from the most interesting man in the world.

If what I just learned is correct, I'd have to say you might be displaying overactive NT traits..
But that's my advice

I think my problem is that I'm too interesting.

I'm fairly certain that women generally are attracted to certain forms of interesting, and not others.

This isn't an aspie thing, this is universal. There are probably just as many NT's out there suffering the same thought process. The tragic thing is that they have the processing ability to intuitively see things we have a hard time recognizing/understanding.

I don't like how impossible it is to tell the degree to which someone likes you