AS-AS dating, a little help please?

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Hello all, I am kinda new here so hopefully this all makes some sense....

I started at my current school around 2 - 2 1/2 years ago. There is this really nice guy in my class, but he is athletic and I tend to read and play chess. We do play the same sorts of games though, and have several other interests in common. He was the first guy in the school I really got to know, and I think I love him (a little bit hard to tell, my brain stops working when he is around). I was home schooled for many years, so I am even more socially inept than many other aspies.

Anyway, he asked for my email about a week ago, and we have since spent a lot of time talking. I thought I should probably tell him about my AS, warn him so to speak, as I can get a little bit strange at times. He replied that he had actually been diagnosed with AS too, so that may explain why we understand each other so well. During one chat, he asked how far I thought I would go with him, and then started kicking himself for asking me. He started apologizing, and was rather worried he had scared me off. Personally, as a fellow AS, I rather like people being blunt as it is easier to understand. I told him not to worry, and we got together yesterday as planned. We spent several hours talking, though we did not get too far with the physical side. I am somewhat hesitant, as I am moving overseas for a gap year in a couple of months. I know we would both like to go further, but I don't know if this is a good time. There is also the problem of someone at school finding out, he is afraid we won't get another chance. I am really going to miss him next year, but I will be away for 12 months. I will have a computer for skype and such, so keeping in contact is not impossible. I guess I would like to ask him to wait for me to come home, but I know this is probably too much pressure at our age. I know this is not some brief obsession on my part, and I would do anything to keep him.

As I said, we both have AS, and this means that neither of us is good at the communication side of things. I know we will both make mistakes, and I do not blame him for this. I really love him and I don't want to loose him, but what should I do?

What are your ages?

We are both around 17, which is why I am worried this is over the top. I have been trying to hide my feelings for the last 2 1/2 years, as I didn't think he could like me back, and I didn't realize he was AS too....

Oh, I see. Whether you are 17 or 57, love can be a potent force. I don't want to advise you because you may find it hard to wait. But if you are going to be away for a year, it might be better to wait because you don't want to get physical and then have to go away. Chances are the feelings will still be there when you come back. At best, you might have a good friend waiting for you if nothing else.

Last edited by hartzofspace on 23 Sep 2011, 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's your decision of course, I would just advise you to think if pushing for a more physical relationship would cause further complications prior and during your gap year. Many emotions can really be amplified with a more physical approach, It's something worth talking about with him. I agree with Hartz, if you were to wait, it could prove to make your relationship stronger. It sounds like the two of have a special connection, hope the best for you.

Honestly I would never date another person with AS,and yes there has been a girl with AS who I liked alot ,however after a discussion with a friend who is a very skilled psychologist, I decided it isn't worth the risk,due to the heightened chance of having a fully autistic child,and how would we both handle that scenario? just something to consider.