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Hello

I am writing to vent my disgust and anguish, and I had just about enough of the nonsense that goes on with this world.

You see, my hell started just last year at the tender age of 35. Everything was going well, I was only just married and everything appeared to be going well, when just suddenly out of the blue, my wife suddenly walked out on me. I just said she didn't want to live with me anymore. Sure I may have been quiet at times, but to me, everything seemed to be rosie.

A girl at the Radio Station I was volunteering at, felt sorry for me, and we formed a friendship, which became a relationship. Unfortunately, she was still dealing with a breakup at the time, and she wanted to go overseas as a single woman, so we agreed to breakup, and she would go overseas to study. Since then, she has met a man, and they live together.

Now, being nearly 37, I am now forced to fend for myself. I live on my own, and am craving for a least a "cuddle" from a woman, and it is starting to drive me a bit crazy. The only way I can do this is by internet dating. I have tried several sites, and I seem to have success when I type and doing the chat thing. I ask for a date and she agrees, and we meet.

In most cases, nothing eventuates after the first date, and to make it worse, nobody tells me what I am doing wrong.

Whats even worse, the counselling sessions costs out of pocket $75 per session with NO government rebate, or health fund rebate.

And I can't really talk to someone about it, because I cannot talk about this in a accurate way, so nothing gets done.

So, the only way to even get a "cuddle" is to pay a prostitute $500 a time, which is something I cannot afford on my tiny wage.

Something needs to be done fast, otherwise, I am going to go nuts.

And no, no medication please.

Please help.


Michael

Dry spells suck but if you've succeeded before, you will again. Maybe try another avenue in addition to online dating.

This line, together with the Emu Egg thing on your avatar, suggests to me that you are Australian. If that is the case, I can tell you right now that you are wrong.

You need to go to your GP and get a Mental Health Care Plan. This will then entitle you to 12 counselling sessions which are free with Medicare. All you have to do is renew the plan with your GP every 12 months and you can continue to see a psychologist indefinitely.

Also, Australian prostitutes don't cost $500+, escorts do (and courtesans cost $1000+). Most legal brothels charge $100-$300 per hour. And no, a $100 hooker isn't some fat and fugly 50 year old in fact, if you live near a university, they are likely to be students.

These statements give me clues to what may be going wrong:


Women assume that grown men take for granted that they will fend for themselves; that they prefer to fend for themselves. If you appear upset or bitter about this women will flee as an instinctive reaction.


You were not paying enough attention to the woman you married and lived with; otherwise you would have had a clue that something was wrong. And being disgusted with THE WORLD because of your failure to pay attention in your marriage is just grandiose.

Ok, let me be more specific in what I am up against.

Firstly, I have a Mental Health Plan in place (I may have to renew as it has been nearly 12 months). The GPs here aren't supportive at all - due to the fact that most GPs around here don't know even how to diagnose a cold properly. There isn't anyone I can trust.

Secondly with the Mental Health Plan - the only psychologists that can treat charge $200 per session (discount $109 per session rebate) = $81 per session. The psychologists have not been helpful at all, and most of them want to change my ENTIRE personality - SORRY THAT JUST ISN'T ON

The counsellors that I have been seeing - there is only one and it costs $75 per session.

SO OVERALL TOO EXPENSIVE AND NOT EFFECTIVE

Also why should we pay for something that all of us are entitled to for free.

I am getting really sick of this mentality from the NTs that we have to be excluded from everything. I would like help, not this mentality of changing to somebody that I am not even comfortable with.

Having seen this post, I am quite offended with your tone - this crap has gone on for too long - no wonder I am going mental. This wasn't even my fault. I admit there were signs that she wasn't satisfied, and I tried to work on those. But being married, then leaving after just six months, why did we get married, it should have ended before.

This may sound rude as well, but how do you know it was not your fault when you say you don't know why she left?

Michael; I'm sorry if my tone is offensive. I am just a woman who responded to your lament that no one tells you what you are doing wrong.

There is no requirement that anyone change into someone they are not comfortable with. But if what you seek is a cuddle from a woman, you're not going to get that unless some woman is comfortable with you.

Look at your position logically, you are disgusted with THE WORLD which you seem to think perpetrated nonsense in your marriage and dating life. Any woman with a brain knows that a man who blames his relationship failures on the world, will take no responcibility for his own choices within a relationship. Women are not comfortable with that.

The wording of this statement shows you taking no responcibility for having choice in your relationship:

You've worded this statement as if your marriage was an entity which wrongfully prepretrated itself on you.

I think your problem is entitlement. You aren't entitled to a girlfriend as long as people have free will. It's a perk, not an entitlement.

Also people never leave for no reason, often it's been brewing for ages and you just don't notice it.

what i find especially obnoxious, is the part of many SOs to think along the lines of "if s/he truly loved me then s/he's always gonna know what's on my mind without me having to say anything!" why can't more rejecters/walk-outs be proactively upfront about what is wrong with a relationship and say early-on, "HEY! i can't stay with you if you so and so, etc." instead of expecting mind-reading on the part of the prospective rejectee? to me, that is just not playing fair.

Chill my dude, I understand the desire for physical attention and what not, however you must prioritize. Work on yourself for a bit man, you don't need to be with a woman to prove anything to anyone. A healthy positive relationship will be much more gratifying.

Look at your position logically, you are disgusted with THE WORLD which you seem to think perpetrated nonsense in your marriage and dating life. Any woman with a brain knows that a man who blames his relationship failures on the world, will take no responcibility for his own choices within a relationship. Women are not comfortable with that.

Sadly we don't have much of a choice in which women we date - sadly in Australia if you aren't a "real man" or "tradie" - then you are not wanted.

The wording of this statement shows you taking no responcibility for having choice in your relationship:

You've worded this statement as if your marriage was an entity which wrongfully prepretrated itself on you.[/quote]

Well, partly, sadly - I didn't want to really marry her in the first place - sadly she wanted a child, and she wanted me to pay for all of it.

Sadly yes, and this must be retified, this is a basic human right that all humans must have, without exclusion.

Sadly this is also true, I didn't quite pick up on the signs, but as an aspie, I don't think its fair to assume that "you know" everything.

Should have.
You need to stop thinking about a relationship as something that you are entitled to have and start looking at it as something that could be really good but if it doesnt happen theres no biggie.

Thinking that you are entitled to have a relationship usually leads to relationships where one of the members is co-dependant on the other one(ie I need to be in a relationship and Im worthless outside of one) which could be extremely harmfull if said relationship ended(as you probably know already).

No, its not a human right. It would be nice for people, yes. But it's not.

It's just that I should be - without having to do expensive courses.