I don't know anymore...
Not sure what section to put this one in, this seems to be the most fitting. Anyways...
The other day I'm at the bar with a friend of mine. During the middle of a conversation, he mentions an old friend of mine.
This old friend of mine, I had met her about eight years ago at college. She seems to run with a douchey crowd, many of her friends that know me hate me. But yet she seems to run to my defense whenever they wanted to start trouble. In 2005 when her boyfriend cheated - I ended up showing up at her apt. at 1:30 am, found her alone, drinking a lot of vodka, and crying. Leave it to me to console her, tell her she's better off without him, have her cry on my shoulder and all that. Couple more years of college, a bunch of times more where she defended me from her craptastic friends. Just seemed really nice to me, but never was that close to her.
Anyway, I had not seen her so much after graduation. I lived over 100 miles away ... or until she moved two towns over from me a couple years ago to be with her new boyfriend. Once I found this out, I've seen her a handful of times at the bar.
My friend on Saturday night suggested to me that this girl really likes me... the way he sounded, as more than "just a friend". I'm failing to see it, especially with the whole being in this state solely because of this guy she's with now.
But then again, a few months ago at the bar - one of her bf's buddies saw me talking to her, and was trying to chase me off. I said a bunch of times I understood she had a boyfriend, wasn't hitting on her, just was old friends from college, nothing to worry about. She even was backing me up, though even with her defense apparently I'm still seen as a threat to this drunken fool. My friend also happened to catch this, didn't like the situation too much.
A week or two later, she goes up to my friend asking where I was - but wasn't there that particular night. If she hadn't come solely looking for me that night, she at least knew who to ask.
Now I dunno what to think. My friend's led me to believe I could have a serious shot at this girl, or would if she was single anyway. What could he be seeing that I'm missing?
You can google the term intellectual whore if you'd like. Uhm, basically, from my understanding (which is really crappy really, so maybe disregard me entirely) she's torn between what she considers a boring guy like you who's like, nice, but not terribly exciting, and her douchy boyfriend who's a douche but uh, is exciting or...something. You know, not a nerd or whatever. She wants him for fun, and you for like, emotional support.
She might be wisening up and not wanting a douchy boyfriend and wanting someone like you, it's possible. It's possible she wants to like, "settle down" with you, and have what she thinks could be a nice peaceful relationship with a "nice" guy, or, not. You don't know until the cards are on the table so to speak.
That's my view of the like, psychology behind it. As far as what to do about it, hell if I know. I've only observed really, never experienced for myself.
I think you have a shot but that's just from reading a few paragraphs.
If you want to try, pick your moment and be fun about it. Don't hit her with some overly emotional confession. If you get waved off, take it very lightly and with good humor then forget about it. She at least knows you are interested and can approach you if she changes her mind.
She might be wisening up and not wanting a douchy boyfriend and wanting someone like you, it's possible. It's possible she wants to like, "settle down" with you, and have what she thinks could be a nice peaceful relationship with a "nice" guy, or, not. You don't know until the cards are on the table so to speak.
That's my view of the like, psychology behind it. As far as what to do about it, hell if I know. I've only observed really, never experienced for myself.
Hate to say it, but I think 1000Knives is on the money. She'll probably always be a good friend to you, but I def wouldn't bet on a relationship unless she makes the moves onto you. In your situation I would play it cool, don't get too attached, and try to enjoy your friendship with her for what it is (leave the ball in her court).
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Into the dark...
That's been the scenario for me. I didn't think it'd ever amount to more, not sure why my friend was hinting at it.
That's been the scenario for me. I didn't think it'd ever amount to more, not sure why my friend was hinting at it.
Friends like to match make, and thus have a tendency to view things through rose coloured glasses (not objectively). Trust me. It's best for your social well-being you take their matchmaking advice with a grain of salt.
I'm not saying it won't happen, but I think you'd do best to leave it well alone unless she initiates something.
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Into the dark...
