Breaking A Date

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How do I break a date I made? I really don't want to go on it but I don't want to get on the guys bad side cuz he's my ride home after class Thursday nights. I've thought of using my finances as a dodge but that seems childish. I've been regretting making the date since eh dropped me off last Thursday. As much as I do want to get back in the field(it has been almost five years since I've been in a relationship) I just don't really fell like jumping back in with an NT.. How do I break it off without it seeming, to him, to come out of left field? I only have four days and I don't have any of his contact info.

do you have a better reason than 'dont feel like jumping back in with a NT'?

that doesnt really seem like a good reason to break a date, tbh. dating is about trying each other out, yanno? there really shouldnt be a stigma like 'if i date you, it means were going to be bf and gf forever and always'. thats not the point of dating. what other reasons do you have for not wanting to keep a date with him? are you physically attracted to him? do you find him interesting / intriguing? does he share interests with you? does he make you smile and laugh? do you feel better somehow when you are around him? asking yourself these questions will help you decide i hope.

honestly, if you have to break a date, dont BS about it, or beat around the bush. just say flat out "you're a cool guy and all, but i really cant see myself dating you. i'd like it if we could remain friends". something along those lines.. breaking dates without telling him you arent interested is cruel, IMO. as a guy, i can honestly say that i absolutely HATE being mislead. breaking a date without letting someone know you arent interested in dating is super un-cool. if the guy is at all like me (and im sure many other guys), he'll think 'oh its ok.. another time i guess!'. after a while he'll think 'what if she doesnt like me' but he wont be sure, and feel bad about it.. then finally he'll understand (hopefully lol), and it will hurt him even more. thats how i feel, anyways. then again, when someone shows interest in me i have a tendency to get overzealous and hopeful..

Don't tell him that you're not ready for a relationship or that he may have a chance with you in the future and don't show any indicators that you want to date if you feel no attraction for him or don't see yourself dating him in the future. Simply tell him directly and make it very clear to him, it will hurt him but you will save yourself trouble.

This.

I wasn't planning to BS but there's still the matter of it being out of left field(to him). How do I deal with that issue?

im not entirely sure of a way to not be out of left field with this. you just gotta say it i think.. iuno maybe someone else will be able to help you better, but you definitely need to be quick about it. dont lead him on any longer than you already have if you arent interested.

Just enjoy the date and the free dinner.

Wait few days after the date and tell him it won't work.

LOL He'd be an idiot to still give you a ride after you reject him.

that's pretty judgemental Ricky. Still being a person's ride has nothing to do with being smart or stupid. In fact, IMHO, it would show that he's genuinely a nice guy and has no hard feelings.

If you really don't have contact information for him, then you really don't have contact information for him and the earliest it seems that you can tell him is the next time you get a ride home after class.

I'm being judgmental because you want to act sh***y and justify it.

By "genuinely nice guy", you mean "sucker you can get free stuff from".

I see a lot wrong with leading this guy on and then rejecting him but still hoping to get something free out of him.

You sound like a user.

Last edited by RICKY5 on 07 Dec 2011, 7:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"As much as I do want to get back in the field(it has been almost five years since I've been in a relationship) I just don't really fell like jumping back in."

That actually works pretty well.

Well i would go on the first date then see he might impress you that said if you intent to reject him which is a valid choice if you don't think you can do the whole dating thing there is really no way to let a guy down easy so I would just try to do it before he gets his hopes to high.

This is not using, in my opinion.

If she were to date someone (or be friends with them) just to get car rides, that would be using.

However, wanting to preserve the car rides while not wanting to step up the relationship further is not using. It is trying to preserve the comfort level that she is used to and not losing something she was already getting from him.

If the friendship is not reciprocal, though, and all she gets from it are the car rides, then that's another matter altogether.

It is pretty obvious the free car rides are all that she is in it for. The guy is using the car rides as an "in" so to speak, since no matter what men always pay for sex/affection in one way or another.

Last edited by RICKY5 on 14 Dec 2011, 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Don't be a white knight...