Dating Neurotypicals

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Do any women have some useful tips for dating neurotypical men?

- Find the one who wants you the way you are. (This goes for AS guys).

- They have their own quirks and irrational behaviour. They have their weird moments, insecurities and other things some people here seem to associate with AS people only. They don't have stimming and repetitive behaviour, but that's about it. They can be irrational, they can bore you with their interests, they can be socially awkward and they can be blind to social cues and body language. Not on the AS level, but don't expect him to be a perfect NT translator; chances are, there are many NT things he doesn't get either.

- Don't be clingy. Don't send dozens of text messages, emails, etc. Don't call him every half an hour.

- Personal hygiene, etc. goes without saying.

- Try to be as confident as you can. Always assume you're the only one for him (unless proven otherwise) and don't be jealous. You need to learn how to trust him.

- On the other hand, you need to know how not to be too naive. If he's a liar, chances are that there's something wrong. If he promises one thing but doesn't keep his promise, it's a bad sign. If you feel like you're more into him than he is into you, that's another bad sign. Don't turn yourself into a doormat.

- You need to learn how to say yes to things you want to do and no to the things you don't want to do with him.

- Don't see him as your only option and as the only guy on the Earth for you.

Well ive been dating NT's since i was 15 im now 21. and i get dumped for the same reason every time.
So heres my tips from experience:
Dont become obsessive
let them know you are on the spectrum, and if so explain a little bit more.
Also try to keep an open mind. remember everyone has an opinion. I find mostly I get stuck in my ways and NT's hate this.
But yeah dont latch on n get obsessive NT men hate obsessive woman (found that aspie men are the same).

Why would you want to do something crazy like that?

Because NTs are great people, too!

Yes of course, I just wish they weren't so...strange...

Well, I guess we need to accept them the way they are, with all their quirks.

That is where I always go wrong so I second that. It tends to drive them away if you send them 20 emails in 10 minutes lol

I liked all your advice deconstruction, but this item really resonated with me. We all can allow the Ghosts of Poorly Ended Relationships and/or Rejections Past haunt us in our current relationships if we're not careful. Awesome advice for Aspies and NTs as well. Thanks.

Sometimes i think that beacuse we are aspies and are aware that we dont pick up on the social signals we forget to trust our own instincts. I'm not sure if its the same for most aspies but i have always had really strong instincts, especially in a relationship. I knew a long time before it actually happened that my now ex husband was going to have an affair but at the same time i knew i could not control it either. So when it did happen and we split i didnt regret the relationship, though it did take time to get over it.

I guess one piece of advice i would suggest is dont forget or be afraid to show your emotions. And while we may not need to here the words i love very often once settled in a relationship, NT's seem to need this way more than us.

Good Luck

Hi all, I've been reading this thread, and I'm an NT female dating an AS male. Any tips you recommend?

Be honest. Don't surprise him. Tell him verbally what you like (and dislike).

I'm an AS male, who is married to an NT female, and just trying to remember what it was like to date someone

I wouldn't. But that's me. I feel that if it led to marriage, the marriage would be a brief one. Dating is going to be the same way as your early childhood friendships were with NT's. It's relatively the same way. The only difference is that with (Heterosexual) dating, the person relies first on physical attraction where early friendships were made by proximity or for convenience. NONE of my friends were mainstream people - if they were NT, there was always some sort of quirk for example, alcoholic mother, fatherless. It was as though, they needed to step out of the mainstream once in a while by being with me. As though they needed some sort of break - like they needed to decompress. But these friendships weren't solid. There were infrequent get-togethers. When someone is a friend, you ought to get together more than every 3 months. This is a big problem when it comes to dating because you can easily be strung along by an NT while they're out making love. You end up being convinced that they need their space when actually they're seeing other people when you are not. You're just waiting for them to call. This ends up being rather pathetic. I've lived this throughout my youth and up to my late 20's. I married at 32 to a wonderful aspie man who was just as lonely as me.

I don't mean to change the topic of this conversation, it's just I see posts about NT's often and I feel kind of stupid cause I uh, don't really know what an NT is. Can someone possibly fill me in?

NT= NeuroTypical (basically non-aspie/"normal")

Ah! Thanks, that was what I thought but I wasn't quite sure.