How to be romantic , flirt ??

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I'm on my way to get married and my future wife is overseas while am in the US. Now she is thinking about breaking up because she is not seeing me as someone romantic...dont know how to flirt with her ...Now I know that I love her a lot and she does love me too...Are their any ideas anyone here have tried or know off that may help my situation ?? I'm not expecting much improvment but who knows maybe some little ideas can help ... This should be a difficult topic for all people with the label 'AS'..so It would be great if people would share their exeperiences .....

About me so far looks like am failing at this issue...only topics i talk about is those involving facts and little emotions....

Take the time to find out and remember the things she likes, and then arrange gifts or experiences that you know she'll really love.

It's not about grand gestures. It's about showing that you care about her and are prepared to make an effort.

ALSO: communicate. If you really love her, then tell her so. If you think that saying "I love you" too much devalues the phrase, find other ways of saying it.

Personally, I also like to pay restaurant bills, hold doors open, offer my coat if she is cold etc.. but some women don't like this.

If she's wanting to breakup with you for such a weakass resion then the relashionship is
doomed I say ask her if she truely wants to be together with you for the rest of her life couse if she's thinking of ending it couse your not romantic then whats the point of getting married?

True spent ages compromising and it hurt me and my partner way too much..

I could only marry someone if they could happily wait for me for months, knowing I don't need anyone or anything else and that I am theirs.

Unfortunately every partner I've had continues to think I'm cheating or lieing when I even take a few days off, so its left me alone, but, I happen to find joy here

I think if she's marrying you for long term, and she can trust you and deal with the occasional space but obvious moments of intense intimacy, love her! marry her!

Maybe its just me, but I'm not the kind of person that can compromise in such a way, I don't know how to flirt, but simply being me attracts the kind of girls that obviously are interested in me... Maybe its not so healthy to have a partner simply to have someone, if you or her have to force the connection?

Don't take my advice though, just an opinion, I'm alone and happy.


edit: this doesnt mean I'm looking for an ideal partner with a certain set of attributes, I simply have to be satisfied in myself, therefore knowing anyone that can handle me fairly regularly, and not get annoyed at me, and obviously be enjoyable company, will be a perfect partner for me.

>>If she's wanting to breakup with you for such a weakass resion then the relashionship is
doomed<<

Exactly. What kind of 'love' is this that she wants to break up with you over such a pathetic reason?

almarzhm, this is such a pity.

The first thing that occurred to me as I read your post was 'Hey! Marriage isn't really about romance! What is this woman thinking of!!?' In my experience (of long term marriage as well as other shorter term relationships), marriage is usually NOT romantic. It's about building a life together, and that includes all the definitely non-romantic stuff like dealing with illnesses, leaky roofs, cat s**t, horrible neighbours, sleepless nights with babies etc etc.

Maybe your wife-to-be is saying something else here? Maybe she's not feeling so ready to let go of the romantic dating hearts-and-flowers fantasy business that Hollywood et al pushes? Ergo, maybe it's not about you in fact...

But if you want to introduce a little more 'romance', as a woman I'd say that I'd much appreciate my partner listening very attentively to me, asking me 'How do you feel about this/that etc?' more often, and doing little things that give her the sense that she is indeed the most important person in the world to you. I know that this stuff doesn't come easy to us, but I think it can be learnt and then practised more.

Best wishes...

Just do so as seriously as possible.

I was wondering whether you and she talk on the phone or email, or both?

I hate talking on the phone. I find email easier.

Am I the only person that could see not being romantic as a potential issue here? Take my mom and dad, for example. My mom is NT and my dad is AS. My mom divorced my dad a few years ago for a number of reasons. He let his appearance go, sex life suffered (I wish i didn't know this!), he was never romantic, and consequently... they fell out of love. She's told me her fiance is constantly doing these little things to show he cares like buying her flowers, taking her out (which my dad never did), etc. Generally, for the first time in her life she is getting this attention and feeling very loved and cared for as a result. My dad is a great guy and really nice, but he doesn't really understand these matters. Myself, I don't fully understand it either.

This could be an issue. Take initiative. It's all about the little nuances that will woo her. It's not necessarily about material items, but the display of affection and caring. I have little practical advise to offer due to my relatively little amount of experience with being wooed. Good luck.

I'm getting mixed responses here to my post...but I totally agree with you gomba....what r u talking about is what she is looking for ...Typial NT girl lol ! ... I don't have good feelings now about this marriage , but if things did not work well i will really be missing all the good times we spent together ..wish me luck guys and lets see how will this thing end up...