Ooh_Choc's guide to beating infatuations
Recently I made a particularly wise post in another thread, and decided the world can benefit from reading it. So here it is.
Situation: You're infatuated with what seems like your dream girl. You've tested the water to see if it's mutual, but she doesn't respond. You've screamed that you love her, and she turns her head. What's an aspie, or any lonely dude, to do?
The first thing you need to do is accept that a relationship will NEVER happen. If she's not interested now, chances are she never will. Even if something she has recently said or done may suggest otherwise, it's most likely either (A) her trying to be nice or (B) her playing with your feelings, plus the fact that you desperately want it to be possible. So step one: face the fact that it won't happen.
This will still leave you feeling lonely, and she's probably the only one you want to be with right now. The next step is, therefore, to find someone new! It doesn't even have to be a particular person, it can be a plan for getting new girls (eg, dancing lessons, getting set up, etc). So long as there's a blip somewhere on the radar, it will be many many times easier to forget the current infatuation.
That's my advice. For your information, this is coming from an 18 year old who just hit strike 3. I haven't found Miss Right yet, but each time I fail, it hurts a little less (ie, like bloody hell).
Be cautious that the remedy does not become the new disease.
I've been pretty much heartbroken for a year now, but there have always been one or two possibilities on the horizon and that has been a comfort. But now I find that any little setback with the girl I really like at the moment has a profound effect on my emotions, even though we're only friends. In other words, I am putting too much importance on this, and then feeling really disappointed when things go slightly wrong (even though these failings may only be inside my own head). It's making me just as miserable as the previous relationship failure.
Time to throw myself into work, or a new hobby, or something....
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The Sociable Hermit says:
Rock'n'Roll...
