Being reliable

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I have had a problem with men in the past who I've thought may like me saying they would help me with something or arrange to go somewhere with me and then they don't do it. And it hurts. I just assume they don't actually like me that much and I give up on them thinking i'll make a fool of myself if. I persue them any further.

I've heard other women saying "men are so unreliable." so it's not just me that has this problem. it's not true. All men can't be coz all people aren't the same. So i'm not having a go at all men here, before y'all get angry.

So chaps whats going on with this? Is it a male female communication issue? Do women do this to you?

I'm actually wondering if it would help some guys realize that if her car is making a weird noise and you say you'll look at it and then never show up, that will make her think you don't care about her.

Hurt, you are right that not all men are irresponsible any more than it's the case that all women are good.

It may seem a small consolation, but it's better to see a fella as irresponsible before you get serious with him than afterwards. I've actually come to like it when people show their true colors right away. It tells me who to avoid and who I can potentially trust.

Are you talking about NT guys or Aspie guys OP I've read lots or articles about Aspie guys in relationships that say Aspie guys tend to be very reliable. My 1st girlfriend who was NT was pretty unreliable at times & it really frustrated me & stressed me out. I try to be very reliable myself & mean what I say I'll do so I'm thinking being unreliable could be an NT thing.

i'm fairly unreliable but it is not through lack of caring for a person (i don't think so at least) it is something i want to change because i can see it is annoying and potentially hurtful. at the same time though, relationships work best when there is equal commitment (it's not about lot's or little but equality) i think sometimes i hold off on things i say i will do because i don't feel valued enough. i should not say but rather just do or do not!

I am such a flake.....but I think it's because I agree to things too quickly (because I hate feeling left out?) and then instead of immediately reversing I just kind of let things go.......

AS 170/200
NT 31/200

I really don't think it's a case of being aspie or nt. I think it's just a general human being thing.

Though I have heard of women saying that their aspie husband is unreliable ie she wants help packing up boxes before moving house and he says he'll do it, but gets engrossed in sorting his cds whilst packing them. She's spent 3 hours packing various boxes and he's only done 1 box of cds. She crys, "why are you so unreliable. I need help and you're not helping!"

This issue may be more complex than I first thought.

Sounds like a flakey person. In my own experience, having guy-parts or girl-parts doesn't seem to enter into this.



Regrettably, I tend to also take folks at their word. People who have to be around me more than one time often pick up that I remember what they've said to the letter. Conversely, I'm very wary of throwing out comments like, "oh sure, I'll take a look at that for you in a few days when you're free" if I don't mean it.