purchase wrote:
I wonder if it might help to try to understand the psychology of the specific abuser so that you can recognize the same behavioral motivations in people and be able to feel you aren't at risk of being blindsided. I mean it's definitely not the person who suffered abuse's problem to understand the mind of the abuser, they may never want to think of it again, but it's just a potential tactic.
Whenever I've had an experience where I have been blindsided by seemingly senseless cruelty at first I am really scared and the world or specific people can seem completely soulless but if you find the moral logic in their behavior - not the correctness in it obviously, but what triggered them to decide that was the option that caused THEM the least pain at the moment, everything can be reconciled into a perspective of good and logic again. Again, just my experience, and I haven't been through a war or anything like that so. Generally speaking I look for the path the pain was passed down through, or look for spots of ignorance in them that caused insensitivity. (Sorry for length of this.)
Unfortunately, I understand far too well the motivations and that's what's got me so mistrustful. Aside from the abuse, a lot was kept from me.
I also don't really know if I can trust myself. My own judgement, my ability to be in a healthy relationship, and I fear I could be abusive. (this sounds absurd but abuse is never one-sided)
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Still looking for that blue jean baby queen, prettiest girl I've ever seen.
29 Jan 2012, 1:19 am
