Question for those profile building experts out there?
recently i decided to redo my profile
so im curious if its good or not profile wise? too much information or too little?
i could care less about the picture right now, im more worried about the information on the profile it self
should i worry much about making it being grammerly correct or should i focus more on readability?
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/zinnel21
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keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out
The spelling/grammar does matter when you write to that length. If your profile was just a bunch of pics and a few lines, it wouldn't have much impact. Run it through a spell checker or get a friend to read it through. Or I could help:
I'm kind of an easy-going smart guy with a passion for learning. I don't really like using big words to get my point across and my spelling is atrocious, so the spell check is a well acquainted friend of mine. I grew up in a "Christian" family, though while I still consider myself a Christian my views on religion aren't as tied to the church itself. I tend to be a very kind and humorous individual, I enjoy seeing others smile and laugh, but most of all I'm caring and will often do anything within my power to help a friend or loved one in need.
It's hard to say whether I'm shy or outgoing, because if the mood strikes me I can be quite outgoing, but if I'm pondering something like "what are the psychological effects of raising a child in a gender neutral environment" or "why is it that New York city is always destroyed in fictional stories" then I tend to be a little shy.
Right now I'm a college student for the most part. I'm working on my Associates in Arts right now, so I can transfer to a 4 university and start working on my bachelor's. Occasionally I do volunteer work through my church (helping with youth programs, setting up garage sales, and so on).
Listening, being a good friend (from what I've been told), video gaming, writing, karate, and I'm sure many more things that either I can't think of or have yet to discover.
At first glance! I'm big!! as in tall, broad shoulders, big head. I'm nerdy, I have a nack for knowing at least a little about everything.
I think I'll just list a subject and then what I like about that subject...
The only secrets I keep are other people's. Honestly, I don't have any secrets. You can ask me anything and I'll be honest about it.
you're an open-minded individual and you don't mind being a little bit weird and dorky.
ok, so....
i can give some advice, but i tend to brutally pick people's profiles to bits. are you at all sensitive about the content or can i proceed?
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on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105
general notes: first of all, i should tell you that i have no idea whether my profile advice works. i've not had anyone implement my ideas then later on come back and report if it worked out. but i've done tons of research into dating profiles and dating psychology.
my instinct when reading your profile is that it needs some humour (especially since you said you like to make others smile and laugh). i.e. if it was my profile i would misspell atrocious as "atroshus" or something and then put "(see what i did there?)" or
, but i am weirder than average maybe.
on WP you come across as someone who does a lot of thinking and who has a flexible mind. if you also like to have debates or discussions in real life you might want to integrate that information into your profile somehow.
also, *some* people have found that they are more successful on dating sites when they come clean about their aspie diagnosis. if you are uncertain, it would not hurt to try the profile with no mention of it at first, then add it later to see if your results vary.
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profile picture: you need more pix and they need to be better quality.
in the pic you posted, the smirking smile is ok but it will probably polarize women's reactions. some may see it as derisive, some may see it as flirty, some may see it as shy... but it may not get the reactions you want. in that picture you are looking slightly UP at the camera, which is a difficult look for men to pull off. it is more masculine to have the camera slightly below your eye level (which is how women will see you in real life).
you don't actually need to look at the camera necessarily, and smiling is not required either. there is some really good advice on these blog posts:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4 ... -pictures/
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont- ... -accident/
My self-summary: the self-deprecating thing needs adjustment, because you've said you're smart... yet also say you don't like using big words. you actually already come across as intelligent so stating you are smart is kind of overkill.
maybe take Christian out of quotes and don't go so deeply into your specific religious beliefs because it makes you look like you are going to argue religion or like you are embarrassed about your religious affiliation. with your phrasing you may scare away both Christians and agnostic women, so just call yourself Christian and get into the nitty-gritty later on in the relationship.
i'd remove this sentence entirely: "what are the psychological effects of raising a child in a gender neutral environment" because you've left your conclusions open to interpretation. i know from your posts on the forum that you have some awesome ideas about this kind of stuff, but a woman reading your profile may think the opposite of how you really feel.
What I'm doing with my life: good job on this part, but the details of your volunteer work aren't really necessary. i'd maybe change it to something like, "Whenever I get the chance I enjoy giving back to my community through various volunteer opportunities". maybe mention your university major.
I'm really good at: this is great, though you might want to add something quirky or peculiar here (people sometimes include unusual talents like magic tricks or dealing cards or singing baritone or finding the coolest cafes in any new locale or even.... reaching the jars from the top shelf).
The first things people notice about me: "At first glance! I'm big!! as in tall, broad shoulders" <----- perfect!! !! "big head." <----- take this out!! !! also, knack is misspelt.
The six things I could never do without kinda not too interesting until the last couple of points... maybe rearrange them to be subtly humourous:
1. a computer with infinite battery life and connection to a self sustaining wireless internet source
2. a pencil and a notebook to draw or write in, for when the internet gets boring
3. family
4. friends
5. food
6. water
I spend a lot of time thinking about: this section is the strongest part of your profile. you look very interesting here, though the "family and friends" part is redundant.
On a typical Friday night I am: maybe change your wording here. you have a chance to be funny, maybe stating that.... since you are a student, naturally you spend friday nights... at work. also mentioning friends is cool (include an actual activity you do with friends), but maybe don't mention family or gaming in this section.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit: although i like the statement you've made about secrets, it should be an addendum to a private detail. if you don't list something private, it makes you look hard to crack open. readers don't want to fish for answers about you. this can be something sweet ("i still have all the valentine cards i got from grade school") or quirky ("i play the harmonica") or embarrassing ("i called my sister's boyfriend "Julian" for a whole year. his name was Justin").
I’m looking for: this part: "Near me" contradicts this part: "long-distance penpals". also, "short-term dating" is a code phrase for FWB/semi-casual sex, though not everyone uses it that way.
You should message me if: pretty decent as-is.
_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105
on WP you come across as someone who does a lot of thinking and who has a flexible mind. if you also like to have debates or discussions in real life you might want to integrate that information into your profile somehow.
yeah originally i had listed debates as something i enjoyed doing but alot of people started to tell me that they interpreted it as liking to argue and made them hesitate in messaging me, but i guess ill try and figure out a good way to add it back in
in the pic you posted, the smirking smile is ok but it will probably polarize women's reactions. some may see it as derisive, some may see it as flirty, some may see it as shy... but it may not get the reactions you want. in that picture you are looking slightly UP at the camera, which is a difficult look for men to pull off. it is more masculine to have the camera slightly below your eye level (which is how women will see you in real life).
you don't actually need to look at the camera necessarily, and smiling is not required either. there is some really good advice on these blog posts:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4 ... -pictures/
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/dont- ... -accident/
this i was fully aware of, and im waiting on a friend to let me borrow her camera so i can take some decent pictures
maybe take Christian out of quotes and don't go so deeply into your specific religious beliefs because it makes you look like you are going to argue religion or like you are embarrassed about your religious affiliation. with your phrasing you may scare away both Christians and agnostic women, so just call yourself Christian and get into the nitty-gritty later on in the relationship.
i'd remove this sentence entirely: "what are the psychological effects of raising a child in a gender neutral environment" because you've left your conclusions open to interpretation. i know from your posts on the forum that you have some awesome ideas about this kind of stuff, but a woman reading your profile may think the opposite of how you really feel.
this was the part i was most worried about, and im kind of glad to see its the part with the most problems
I'm really good at: this is great, though you might want to add something quirky or peculiar here (people sometimes include unusual talents like magic tricks or dealing cards or singing baritone or finding the coolest cafes in any new locale or even.... reaching the jars from the top shelf).
The first things people notice about me: "At first glance! I'm big!! as in tall, broad shoulders" <----- perfect!! !! "big head." <----- take this out!! !! also, knack is misspelt.
whats wrong with my big head??! !
1. a computer with infinite battery life and connection to a self sustaining wireless internet source
2. a pencil and a notebook to draw or write in, for when the internet gets boring
3. family
4. friends
5. food
6. water
I spend a lot of time thinking about: this section is the strongest part of your profile. you look very interesting here, though the "family and friends" part is redundant.
agree with everything here
The most private thing I’m willing to admit: although i like the statement you've made about secrets, it should be an addendum to a private detail. if you don't list something private, it makes you look hard to crack open. readers don't want to fish for answers about you. this can be something sweet ("i still have all the valentine cards i got from grade school") or quirky ("i play the harmonica") or embarrassing ("i called my sister's boyfriend "Julian" for a whole year. his name was Justin").
quirky huh, would "i enjoy listening to alot of japanese songs even though i dont realy know that much japanese" work?
You should message me if: pretty decent as-is.
im not realy to worried about these last two parts, though ill keep in mind about the "short-term dating" code phrase, not sure if should change it though, its not that im waiting FWB or anything like that, im just wondering if it might not be such a great idea to just have "long-term dating" listed
anyway you've been a real big help, thank you!!
_________________
keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out
First, you should post about 4 or 5 more photos, so a person can see what you look like more accurately.
50% of the game (and thats a moderate estimate) is about photos, so add photos that show your whole body, with better lighting and higher quality
My suggestions:
Delete this (it really is unnecessary and adds nothing good):
"I don't really like using big words to get my point across and my spelling is atrocious, so the spell check is a well acquainted friend of mine."
Everything else is very good. I wouldn't take out much else.
Overall, good profile (better than most guys' profiles).
