Am I being unreasonable?

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I think that I'd benefit more from an NT than another person with disabilities or disorders as I'm not that brilliant at being independant.
Also I would generally think only of my own needs more so than the other.
Sure I get the whole understanding each other but I don't personally feel it is the right choice from my perspective.
So is it unfair to not give it a chance first or am I okay by thinking this way as it is my own choice?

sorry, what?

Am I right by dismissing anyone with disabilities or disorders as a partner because I do not feel I would be good with helping with their needs?

You might try imagining what it might be like to help someone through a persistent situation, like blindness, and see how you imagine yourself coping with it.

In general, you're probably the only person fit to answer these questions for yourself.

I'm not sure if aiming to pick a partner for the reasons you list above is a good idea. NTs need support and understanding too for a relationship to work. What you are describing sounds more like you want a parent-figure.

I think Lene is right. You want to be on the receiving end in a relationship, but you don't want to put anything of yourself into it. Everyone, including NTs, who want to be in relationships need for it to be a two way street. You are obviously not ready to contribute your share into a relationship, so you are not ready to have one. It is wrong to enter a relationship just so you can use other people without giving anything of yourself to the other person.

I love animals, and would love to have pets, but I have reached a stage in my health where I can no longer provide well for the physical needs of a pet. Also, I have become more sensitive to pet fur over the years. Because of all this I no longer have pets. It would not be right to have a pet I can't properly care for.

By the same token, it would be wrong for you to enter into a relationship that you have no interest in properly caring for.

I have to settle for occasionally seeing and petting pets that belong to relatives and neighbors. You will have to settle for some form of platonic friendship, until such time as you are ready to put something of yourself into an intimate relationship.

I think it's selfish of you to only want a relationship with someone who doesn't have any disorders or disabilities. If Aspies & people with disorders are so bad; you will be a burden to an NT sense your an Aspie yoruself. NOT every Aspie or disabled or anyone with a disorder is the same. You should judge people on a case by case bases by how each person is affected instead of looking for a perfect person when you not perfect yourself

While I think this-

and this-




...are assuming quite a bit too much (putting words in his mouth) about PastFixations' thoughts and motivations,


I think this-




...is the more salient point. (And neither are NTs all the same, or come with some "NT guarantee," btw. You could end up with a higher-maintenance NT than Aspie, with just as much luck. Trust me. I've lived with and worked for some.)

Besides, you could be missing out on the love of your life by categorically deciding to exclude a certain population of people.


As for if it's wrong to have a preference in the kind of person you think you'd feel most comfortable with, over the long haul--No, I don't think it's wrong. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just don't let the label pre-judge for you the person.

I sort of used to have a mild concern... more just a thought maybe, that dating someone with AS could be more difficult. I wondered if dating someone like me would make an overall weakness even if there was love. Like, well, what if we have to do something social that was very important and neither of us could do it ?

I found out later though that it was somewhat of an irrelevant thought with who I fell in love with. My girlfriend is aspie, but she also has traits that are much stronger where I am weaker, and I'd hope it's the same way she views me and that I'm not a cute liability . She's very bold and brilliant in comparison to me, and strong willed... but she doesn't exactly do everything for me >_>... She's given me courage to try and walk a bit out of my comfort zone to do tough things on my own, and even stand up for myself. Where as I think I come off as creative and as an awkward but warm and caring companion <_<. She's caring too... but I guess I'm trying to mention that our differences make things more balanced ... while we can still relate to each other and give each other support... or even laugh when we both book it out of a smelly or noisy store... or some place where too many sales people bother us >_>

I suppose if I had looked for an exact autistic copy of myself, that things would be very difficult. I'm just saying, it's likely possible to find someone with the same disability that can compliment you

Hopefully that made sense ... I was just drinking not long ago and I'm getting close to that feeling that I shouldn't be posting

Totally. *nods*

While I may not be AS, I have a lot of weaknesses where my (AS) gf has strengths. The beautiful thing about us is that we complement in such a wonderful way. It's cheesy perhaps, but we "make a whole."



lol

(It was fine. )

In simple terms of what Bane posted above, remember people on the spectrum are individuals so they can't be easily defined for a label, some may have better emotional reciprocity, life skills or social skills than others depending on the level of social conditioning they have had. It's always good to keep your options open and try not to think in boxes or labels as generalized thinking will only work against you.

It may be more helpful if you date someone that isn't on the spectrum as long as they aware of who you are and share a mutual understanding of that. It's entirely up to in who you decide to date, just be aware of your long term needs and the type of lifestyle you want.

Whoa! Steady on, I may have said that I may not be able to support the others needs but I didn't say that I'd do nothing in it. Blooming Nora!
It just seems that going through my needs drives away any chance because I only care about myself which is untrue as well.
In a sense maybe I shouldn't as you don't really know about a person unless you spend time...
When I say disabilities and disorders, I meant extreme ones like blindness and having no limbs...

I think there was confusion based on the vague original post... but if you meant extreme disabilities such as blindness and the sort, that message was... mis-stated.


Unless you are blind or are missing limbs, which I don't believe are disorders, the statements would imply singling out others with any type of disorder such as AS when mentioning an understanding of each other... as I'm just assuming you have AS . Also, NTs can have missing limbs and blindness .

I'm just trying to explain some of the confusion if that is truly what you meant

I think that is what I meant...
I must admit the original post was rather vague as I think I thought it was put clearly but I know that is incorrect.
Yes, blindness and no limbs may not be disorders but they are disabilities.
Yes I do think that I meant that I and another with an ASD would be understanding but I'm not sure if that is something that I want or if I want an NT since I don't think too much like someone with an ASD.