Minor "social" mistakes in relationship with NT

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Hi all,

I'm a diagnosed Aspie male, who is currently in a (now fairly long term) relationship with a wonderful NT girl. We have a great relationship, and I guess you could say that we've just "clicked". She accepts me for who I am, even with my AS, and we are very open and honest with our feelings. I am totally convinced that she is "the one", and she tells me she feels the same way too.

However there was something that happened a few days ago that got to me a little. She knows about my diagnosis, and whilst I'm OK in most situations these days (through "learned" behaviors), the intimate one-on-one stuff is fairly new to me. She asked me to stop doing something which I didn't even realise I was doing, and of course as soon as she brought it to my attention I realised what I'd done, apologized, and have now adjusted my behavior accordingly. It wasn't a major thing, and there's no harm done. It's the first "problem" (I guess you could say) that we've had, and I'm very glad that she brought it to my attention so we could fix it. But I felt, a) stupid and b) sort of inadequate for making such a mistake (as many of us probably do after making a social mistake and not realizing it). I have no resentment towards her for bringing it up - in fact I'm very glad she did. That's the sort of relationship we have, very open with each other and our communication is very good. She's very kind, sweet and understanding and knows that I didn't realize what I was doing, and she brought it up in a way that was sensitive and protective of my feelings (straight up and no nonsense but at the same time fairly gently).

I guess you could say I'm now mildly paranoid about my behavior. I don't feel inhibited or anything, I just feel like I need to be more careful than I first thought. I'm probably being too paranoid, but I'd like some advice from others in similar situations (one high functioning partner and an NT partner) and how this sort of thing is dealt with. Our relationship is great, it's just I'd like to be bit more clued up in case something like this arises again.

Cheers,
-null

The fact you have mutual understanding and good communication is the start to developing a great relationship, it's good that she is willing to be open and honest about certain things. However don't compromise yourself to the point where she doesn't accept the person she first fell in love with, that will only diminish the attraction between you both, if it's a minor fault or problem, there is nothing wrong with her pointing it out as she may be trying to be helpful.

what did you do?

well, i can't tell you if your worries about your behaviour are paranoid or well-founded without knowing what you did. so i'm out.

There's nothing you can do to learn stuff like that in general. Especially with women. Take it one mistake at a time. Don't let them get to you and it won't be problem, unless it becomes a problem for her and then it's her problem.