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WildMan
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05 Nov 2006, 4:24 pm

Holy crap! That's happened to me! It's nearly ruined my life on more than one occasion!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

How do you prevent it? How do you stop it in its tracks?

Edited to add: Longest I ever had it last was about two years, give or take. But I've had it rear its head and then flame out at the end of a mere few months.

Also, I'm not attached to anybody at all right now, but I think I'm experiencing an ongoing, somewhat mild variant of this condition. It has to do with not having a girlfriend and wanting one really, really bad. It robs me of far, far more energy than it ought to... and it feels like I'm being mentally murdered.



marshmallow
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06 Nov 2006, 3:39 pm

Wildman, I nearly leapt out of my chair when I saw your post.
I read about limerence a while back and I recognised everything about it that had driven me crazy over the years,
to experience it is to feel the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
I have tried to talk myself out of it so many times, to tell myself I am a mature woman with a family what is the matter with me, but it is so hard.
It is difficult to stop in its tracks because at first it feels so good and gives you a wonderrful dimension to your life. Then the frustration creeps in and the emptyness. Next thing, woosh, you're back again in the land of the truly fortunate, you wouldnt change a thing, its all marvellous and he/she is the most fascinating creature on earth, hey you're pretty fascinating yourself, then down you plummet, theyre not around, do they actually notice you etc etc. Oh yes, its a rollercoaster ride and no mistake!
I dont know the answer apart from a lot more self discipline than I could ever possess, but you have my sympathy, Wildman and I wish you well.



WildMan
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06 Nov 2006, 6:24 pm

There must be some cognitive strategy to preempt it, or to squelch it.

I do not think it is a good thing at all. I do not want to ever experience it, ever again.

It just sucked... in the big picture, it was just horrible.

I have a very strong desire to overcome it forever.

How?



en_una_isla
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06 Nov 2006, 6:31 pm

IMO this is just another variant of AS obsessions, but instead of being a thing it is focussed on a person.

It helped me very much to view it from that persepctive... to realize this is "just" obsessive thinking.



WildMan
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07 Nov 2006, 12:29 am

So what is the wrongplanet.net consensus on how to thwart aspie obsession?

Was there a 10 page super-thread on that topic that ran its course long before I got here?

From the info (though I haven't read any critiques), it sounds like you don't have to be an aspie to experience it.

But I'm sure there's a definite tie-in in our case.



Veresae
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13 Nov 2006, 10:33 pm

I don't really remember any good advice the last time this was brought up. None that worked too well for me, anyway.