Has anyone ever told you this?

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You are such an attractive girl (handsome guy). I don't understand why you are still single.

People have said this to me many times. And until I found out about aspergers and autism, I had no I idea how to respond to that statement. I couldn't just come out and say "Because nobody likes me."

So has anyone ever said this to you and how did you respond?

I get that too and I absolutely hate it! People are so rude. These are the same people who ask "How come you don't have children?" or "How come you didn't go to college?" I have noticed that they are equally rude to *everybody*, if that's any help.

For why I never married, I tried "Because I never wanted to." But they just went on with "Why not?" And it goes on.

I've wanted to use some phrases from Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) - "My God you're ugly" is a good one. or "Does everyone in your family have a nose like that?"

Maybe we could get up a list of good answers to rude questions.

Very rude question disguised as a compliment.Some people seem to feel it is their personal responsibility to maintain the "status quot" through humiliation.I think it is such an automatic reflex for them,they dont think about how rude they are being.I tried responding..."I dont want to pass on my gene pool"....that doesnt go over to well.I really dont know what to do other then tell the truth but not go into detail.

I do get it too, and as was mentioned above, the reason i don't have a girlfriend is because no-one likes me, no gives me a chance or takes the time to understand me. Im still waiting for the right girl who won't judge me.

I get the following backhanded compliment:

"You'd be so beautiful if..."

when I hear that, it kicks in an auto reponse in my thoughts of ... and why should I follow your rules for what you think beautiful is? I am beautiful. And weird. And not like a lot of people. I don't feel the need to conform to what everyone else thinks is "best" for me. <shrugs>

I think about this a lot. I suppose that they must care about why I'm single or they wouldn't ask.

When people ask me why I'm single it takes a lot to hold me back from arguing with them about why they feel the need to have me coupled with someone my response to the last few have been, "I've been busy developing other things in my life." That lets me talk about things I'm interested in when they ask, "Like what?"

Yes, this is frustrating. I have even had co-workers try to fix me up with people, when I hadn't asked! Embarrasment all around. I still struggle with an answer for the question about why I choose to live alone. If I admitted how long I've been celibate, they'd really be shocked. It's not that I want to be alone. Buts its just gotten too discouraging to put myself out there.

I could tell them that I'm more interested in Vintage Cars and Buses than I am in guys, but that wouldn't go over, too well.

What can I say? I like objects better than I like people. Anybody who has a problem with it, can take a Hike.

I'm not sure it's meant to be cruel.

What they're basically saying is that you're attractive but under-appreciated.

That sounds pretty accurate for many of the people here. Why rush to take offence? It's the people who throw insults or ignore you completely that are the bad guys.

I've been asked this question a few times. So I tell them the truth: I'm difficult to live with, I have been in a few relationships and unfortunately none of them have worked out. And now I'm fed up of hurting people (including myself), so I've given up trying and I'm going to stay single, unless by some miracle I meet Miss Right. But I also say "Thank you" for the compliment, 'cos in most cases it's meant that way.

I've been asked it a zillion times, especially by older people or women on the web that have only seen my face and not met me IRL.

Another thing I hear people say is "Any girl would be lucky to have you." They have no idea how wrong they are. I seem to be extremely impaired in the empathetic feelings department. I'm not sure I'll ever be "relationship material."

No, but I'm a big, huge, lardy, unattractive brooding bloke. Nobody apart from my family loves me, I don't care.

I just tell everyone I'm shy so i probably scare off men because they assume I don't like them.

I didn't know they were such rude questions. I thought they were curious questions. Don't we ask rude questions? Yes. Why? we don't know we're being rude. we're just being curious.

People ask me those question quite a bit, and usually, I manage to come up with a comeback that's one of the following: slightly insulting, smart-assed, or self-deprecating in an ironic way. For instance, I was at this speed dating event, and this lady asked me: "If you're in college, why did you come to a speed dating event? Can't you meet girls at your college?" I said: "If that were true, I wouldn't have driven for 30 minutes on an expressway in the rain just to get here" (this was true), while trying to sound desperate. Needless to say, the lady was stopped in her tracks.

Nope, I've never heard it Though it seems that two male friends have feelings for me that go beyond those of friendship - well, they've told me they have. I can't understand why though.

My mother once asked me that, but I think she meant it as a compliment. But it was insulting because she knows why.