I seem to suffer from a complete and utter inability to...

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...enjoy sex or anything sex related.

I've had sex and sexual contact with other girls, but there has never been an instance in my life where I ever enjoyed it even once, be it on a physical or emotional or psychological level. I even had two girlfriends who were attractive and I just simply got no satisfaction whatsoever out of sex. It was like a chore.

I have no problem masturbating, and I do it quite frequently, and I enjoy that.

But why am I simply unable to enjoy sex or sexual contact with people?

The fact that you masterbate and enjoy it indicates that you're probably not asexual, and probably would enjoy sex under certain conditions. Three possibilities thus present themselves:

1. You may be homosexual. To determine this, you may want to ask yourself what you're thinking about when you're enjoying yourself by yourself. Is it men or women? Are you just thinking about yourself (A male)? Please don't answer these questions on the board, I don't actually want to know, I'm just saying they're questions to ask yourself privately in order for you to potentially have a better understanding of your own sexuality.

2. You may be heterosexual, but, like some other Aspies, you may be especially sensitive to touch and find sex with a partner overwhelming enough that you don't enjoy it for that reason. If this is the case, you may want to look into getting a sex therapist of some sort to try to overcome those difficulties.

3. Some folks need an emotional connection with a person in order to enjoy sex. Maybe you just haven't found a girl you care about yet.

Regardless, it seems to me that either way there are options you can potentially explore to one day potentially get enjoyment out of sex.

I know I'm not gay, as I'm almost always thinking about women. But in regards to #2, I was always nervous around my girlfriends. By the time they (my doctors) finally determined I was suffering from anxiety, it was too late, because I am now single and will probably remain that way for quite some time.

I tried having sex with escorts using a heavy dose of anti-anxiety medications (reccommmended by both my shrink and my psychologist believe it or not) and I was still too nervous to enjoy sex (or I simply didn't enjoy it for other reasons).

As for #3, I haven't really had the chance to be with someone I really care about, especially considering it's so hard for me to care about others, and considering how hard it is to get a girlfriend.

What are your reasons for wanting to date? Knowing that might help someone figure out a possible solution that might work for you.

I too have been having problems with sex... I haven't had any in 7 years... little wonder why the lack is driving me crazy and I've been on a massive drawing frenzy... but I have always had a serious problem with it.

I have been jerking off for years... and always noticed that a "electrical overload" occurs during orgasm... it's not a pleasurabl;e feeling... more of a shocking type feeling... and it got worse when I first got laid... except this time... everything froze up and I got no sensation or anything...

By the first time I really got laid... my partner said that I literally looked like I was having an epelitpitc fit during orgasm... and scared the crap out of her.

We f****d on and off for about 6 years... and then it ended on October 27, 1999... and nothing has happened since.

I was wondering if anyone out there... male or female... has ever had a problem like this? My theory is is that the part of the brain which controls tactile sensation in the genitals malfunctions, causing a build up of neurotransmitters, which are released in a tidal wave type torrent which overloads the nerves... causing the "fit" effect.

Has anyone got an opionion on this?

Thanks!

The Celestial

You might want to check out Dr Lins site www.actionlove.com

Check out the section "Electric Orgasm"