No feelings from sex.

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I know at least a few of you have had sex out there.

For me sex is like a rollercoaster. It's like that because both sex and a rollercoaster give an intense experience to a normal-person but do just about nothing for me. I experience no sense of attachment or any kind of emotional high from sex.

Yes I do care about the person I'm with in a general way and yes she does turn me on sexually. From what I can tell this is not a "performance" thing. It's more like I'm just enjoying things in an abstract way, as there are no intense feelings. Even the orgams isn't noticibly different than if I had done things myself.

Is this a "normal" experience for someone with AS?

Edit: While sex is nice in the way that a good meal or a healthy dump are nice, I think I could live without it.

Last edited by Alicorn on 05 Nov 2006, 1:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am a virgin, but that is exactly how I would feel if I were in that situation.

Tim

The same - but when I had a gf, I was more concerned with my performance and how much she enjoyed it. However I would also say its possible to loose yourself in everything and possibly enjoy what NTs do. Hard to say.

Who knows what NT's experience ?? To them, it's not about affection, or connection, it's just another notch on their "Sex" belt. For ASpies, you have to have the affection and respect for the person, and then the sex is great. But just to have sex?? When I was younger, back in the stone age and dating, I turned down girls who wanted to have sex right away. The idea repulsed me. "What are you, a total slut?" They looked at me, and said (Whatareya, a FAG??) NT's have a very odd view of sex.

I do tend to focus on what the girl is feeling. What I mean is that I enjoy that she is enjoying herself. It's like I can only get a 2nd hand pleasure from sex.

Makes me wonder if it is worth it though.

I think so - personally I get a lot of joy out of seeing someone else get pleasure, and you too. There is an element of personal joy I will admit - but I could not continue without knowledge that the girl was happy.

What they do in return is what counts(?).

I'm a virgin, but I've played around a bit. And, what I've found is that people are pretty much self-absorbed. They aren't thinking about making you feel great, they are thinking about making themselves feel great. And that's a really big turnoff. So fooling around doesn't really happen that often for me because of that.

>>I am a virgin, but that is exactly how I would feel if I were in that situation.<<

How could you even begin to imagine?

Some need sexdrive as a motivator to find a relationship, others do not they have intense loneliness and emptiness as a motivator.

I'm 44 years old. I've had sex twice: once when I was 26, once when I was 30. I don't miss it. I am indifferent to sex; both of the times I had it, I was not the instigator.

My view on sex is just like that of an NT. To me, it's just another form of entertainment that involves getting off. No girls ever liked me enough to have sex with me (although some drunk girls in clubs did make out with me. After many years of utmost misery, I broke down and hired an escort. That was a turning point in my life. Sex became as easily attainable as sending an e-mail to set an appointment, following up with a phone call on the indicated day, then driving to the hotel where the girl was waiting for me in the room. One hour later, I would walk out smiling, although after my first time, I had a lot of difficulty walking and had to hold on to the handrail along the wall .

Interestingly, because sex became this easily attrainable for me, I now respect women more, rather than less. Women in general lost the power they once had over me. Since that power is gone, I can focus on the nice qualities a girl has, rather than thinking about her power to reject me. Now, when a girl rejects me, I think: "Time to e-mail that escort agency again", rather than: "I blew it; I won't have another chance for a long time".

sex is a little overrated, but i still want to do it
thats what i hate about sex, once you start complex emotions are now on the board and i just dont want that. i like to keep it simple

Finally, someone who agrees with me. I don't want get emotions into the equation. To me sex is just copulation, no more no less. I like having the simplicity of what I described in my previous post.

Actually the point of me starting this tread was that for me "complex emotions" really aren't on the board.

Yeah I like it and yeah I like the girl... but... meh...

Amazing. Someone who shares my views. I am currently seeing a therapist that seems to have trouble believing that I feel this way about sex. It's pleasant, but like Alicorn says, it's like a good meal, or er, the other example. I have always gotten off more on the other person's excitement, and had a vague wish to know what they were feeling. It was more a "giving of myself," then "having sex." The fantasy is always better than the reality. I think lots of Aspies may feel this way, but I'm not at all sure

NT's are just sex maniacs with genitals 4 brains cuz of rap music & pop music as well.