My situation with this new girl...

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What do you think will happen?
Scenario A 67%  67%  [ 12 ]
Scenario B 11%  11%  [ 2 ]
Scenario C 22%  22%  [ 4 ]
Scenario D 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 18

Aspie1
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09 Nov 2006, 11:27 pm

... or "this just can't be right".

First, let me give you some background. I met this girl on a dating site. Statistically, girls who replied to my messages ranged from ugly to plain-looking, but this girl (let's call her "G") was actually pretty cute, not to mention fun to talk to. It all started with me sending her a message. She replied, and within a week, we were talking on the phone. I asked her on a date, and we ended up meeting a few days later. We got along really great on the date, had some nice conversations on the phone and online in the next few days, then set up a second date.

Now while, according to most of you here, I'm supposed to be jumping for joy, but I'm not! I like G, and she seems to like me back, but something doesn't seem right. All the girls I dated in the part were barely reaching a 6, but G is a solid 7 (I'm a 4). Now why is she dating me, when she can do so much better? Please vote in the poll below, on each possible scenario below. Most of my polls are usually semi-serious at most, but this one is really important to me.

Scenario A:
G is dating me because she found something attractive about me. Maybe it's the way I acted during the date, maybe it's the stories I told, maybe it's the activities I picked out, or maybe even my looks, shocking as it may seem. Whatever I did, she liked it, and I should be happy.

Scenario B:
G is dating me because I'm the best she could find, although she does like me. Chances are is that there aren't any guys she liked in the area where she lives, so she looked online. For her, dating me was a better alternative than being alone. I should keep dating her if I'm OK with it.

Scenario C:
G is dating me because she's only looking to expand her selection of men, which includes me. Since I'm nowhere near the alpha male, natural selection will eventually take over, and G will dump me. I should enjoy her company, but be prepared to get the boot at any moment.

Scenario D:
G is dating me because she's enjoys the free meals and activities. While she does have conversations with me, from her point of view, that's the price to pay for the free meals and activities. I should forget about her, delete her contact info, and stop fooling myself.



alex
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09 Nov 2006, 11:52 pm

scenario a seems to be the most likely


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Flagg
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10 Nov 2006, 12:07 am

I see everything though rose-tinted glasses so I'm saying A


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techstepgenr8tion
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10 Nov 2006, 12:31 am

I'd say they're all possible but I think to have her trust and to be sending the right vibes (as well as what I have a feeling about) - I'd say scenareo a. If you were feeling ill at east because she was out what felt like was your 'league', that's understandable and it happens. That and its pretty normal not to be jumping for joy just because - its real life, its not a fantasy, and when you have someone you realize while it can add something if you like her and she's good for you and your life its not going to make you all of a sudden feel whole. If anything for you to feel so-so about it is probably a very healthy thing, shows you have yourself in control and that you'll be able to handle the next date and the date after that with all the calm and poise that you need to. Congratulations by the way :).



en_una_isla
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10 Nov 2006, 12:41 am

A or C but I voted A. I really hope it works out!! !! ! Not to encourage dishonesty, but don't tell her you have slept with prostitutes.



ooh_choc
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10 Nov 2006, 12:47 am

IMHO it's probably a mixture of the following:
- definately a fair amount of (A)
- most likely she incorrectly sees herself as less than "a solid 7"
- possibly a little (B) and/or (C)
- most likely NOT any of (D)



alex
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10 Nov 2006, 12:51 am

there are a lot of 7s in this world man. don't think she's special because of that. She might be worrying that you're too good for her. Girls don't care about looks as much despite what they may say.


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Flagg
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10 Nov 2006, 12:58 am

Women are deeper then they may appear. Basically argeeing with Alex


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alex
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10 Nov 2006, 1:17 am

and 7s might have lower self esteem than 4s because they're on the brink of being attractive but not quite attractive enough. That's harder to identify with than if you know you're ugly and don't have to worry about whether you're really attractive or not. Seriously though, I don't think 7s are that good looking but maybe i have a different definition of 7 or I'm too picky.

Anyway, I'm into the whole girl, not just her looks (although looks are definitely involved). Maybe that's why I've been single for the last couple a months. I think I'm just waiting for someone really special. Hopefully that person exists.


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violet_yoshi
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10 Nov 2006, 2:40 am

Just curious, what is your idea of "ugly" and "plain-looking" girls?


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lowfreq50
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10 Nov 2006, 4:34 am

A combination of A and C would be my guess.



MrMark
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10 Nov 2006, 5:42 am

I said A, however, you said something didn't "feel" right. Did you chose your words correctly? Is it a feeling, or is this your analysis of the situation? I think we should trust our feelings. I'm not saying you should abandon ship if it is a feeling, just take care.


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Beenthere
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10 Nov 2006, 9:00 am

I'd go with A...but I agree with Mr. Mark...tread slowly and keep your eyes open. Good luck! :wink:


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MrMark
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10 Nov 2006, 9:06 am

BTW

Aspie1 wrote:
...she found something attractive about me. Maybe it's the way I acted during the date, maybe it's the stories I told, maybe it's the activities I picked out, or maybe even my looks...

and maybe it's just YOU. Imagine that.


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MelancholyBunny
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10 Nov 2006, 9:29 am

It could be that the reasone something feels off, is that you are in new territory, so to speak, you meet this girl for the first time and you're in a new situation with a new person. Also couldn't it be that you were anxious and that is causing your strange feeling?
If this girl is not trying to manipulate you, which we are going to assume she isn't as she is a nice human being and that is what you were attracted to, then she is probably feeling the same way as you, people always think less of themselves, as it was already pointed out. just because you think she is a seven (?) doesn't mean that she thinks you is, and vice versa.
I suggest you see how it progresses and i wish you good luck( even though you've made me jealous). :wink:



Topher
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10 Nov 2006, 9:33 am

Scenario A seems most likely.