I do not know about most men, but I had trouble understanding many of these issues early in life, mostly because I didn't feel they were right or fair, but in the end that does not matter, all that matters is, thats just the way it is. So I am starting this thread so we can discuss the issues and hopefully help those others that as well may be having trouble understanding or relating to those same issues.
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There is no equality in the sex's.
Much of the conversations I am presenting are based on tradition of the roles men and women have played through out human kinds existence.
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Many females feel that men are wanting them as in like for a piece of meat or a possession.
Traditionally, men approach the females, and the females have the option of accepting their attentions, or rejecting them.
Females take the chance of baring our children each time they have sex with us, and if they do they in many ways get stuck with us in their lives forever more after that. not to mention what kind/health of the children they may have based upon the lineage of the male. for females its their way of proving their love and devotion by having the mans children.
Women can be, and frequently are emotional, by what i seen this happens allot with their monthly cycles, many times even becoming unreasonably so. but if you tell them this at those times they will will go off on you. and as they age they many times lose much of their sex drive except at those times of the month, and if you pressure them any other time they will end up feeling like your just using them for your own appeasement and will start to reject you for it. don't ask them what times would be best, just keep calender notes. when they are at that time of the month they are most interested then woo them the most then, and when they are at that cranky times of the month, go out and spend more time working. they will complain, but for your own emotional well being, its best to be avoidant at those times.
Women say its Ok for a man to be weak at times, to have our own emotional breakdowns. when the truth is no, its not. females depend on men to be strong for them when they need us, so if your showing your weak or vulnerable side they may say its OK but in the end they will lose trust and respect for you. for if your not strong enough for you, then how can you be strong enough for them. they will have sympathy, but lose respect and confidence in you. and if you have strong feelings about a hurt, many times its best to just be that mysterious silent type. its more attractive.
Even if females are working, they expect the males to be the provider, not just the provider, but want and expect you to have ambition, to be that go getter. so they feel that they can depend on you if something happened to them, as in them getting pregnant and having children to tend to. its about like the nest/egg syndrome, many female birds look for a male who has readied a good nest to attract the females. where if you refuse to work on that nest before hand many wont even look your way. and this is why many men go off on the bigger better toys thing, its a show for attraction. they also expect a man to be strong enough to protect them and their nest. being a good provider is not enough, they want to see attitude.
Much of where I went wrong is I tend to choose my battles, let them win disagreements because I didn't feel the arguments were worth it. but instead I tried to be MR nice guy and extra sweet to them at those times, and in return they felt I was trying to buy them off or being clingy or needy. Mr Nice Guy don't work, because if they feel you are not willing to stand up for your self, even to them, then how can they expect you to stand up for them. they lose respect for you. so it pays to be that ass now and then. they may not like it, but they will respect and love you more for it.
Many things may not seem right or fair, but that does not matter, for thats just the way things are. they want you to Man Up, to be strong for them, regardless if you feel you now and then need that too.
Life in many ways is not fair, for instance I have trauma issues from being bullied so bad and other things in my life, but even though females may sympathies, they still don't want a broken hero. even, and especially if they them selves have been hurt or traumatized, it makes you even less so attractive if your not that strong type for them.
BUT there are advantages.
Since females are not as used to the rejection as men are, when you ignore them a little it makes them more emotional and want to chase you even more, which makes them also feel they are not just a possession or a piece of meat to you, because they had to fight for you, too. consider it reverse psychology.
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I know I will get some nasty comments on this one, but I think the debates between the sex's would be a good and healthy one.
27 Jun 2012, 9:21 am
