Can I be married?

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I met my wife in 99, we married in 2001 and had two kids together, one is possibly AS, he is near obsessed with lego, he has been since he was 2 and builds stuff on a near adult level at the age of 4.
Any way, it didnt take long for us to start having disagreements, we both seem concrete in our ways and have different veiws on 99.9% of everything, we have had some hard times and seperated a few times but keep getting back together, we dont seem to get along but find it hard to be seperated, we have maintained a probably more active than average sex life through out and spend alot of time together although she says when we are together its like im not there.
I was diagnosed with AS a couple of years ago when we were trying to work out why I do so much wrong in our relationship, I Have always known i was a bit different but never really thought my differences could affect the relationship. my wife takes no s**t, say the wrong thing and its a screeming match, I also am a bit the same, our neighbours must hate us.

from time to time we have fun together but most of our holidays and spare time are consumed by my hobby wich does actually include travel to events held in holiday parks sometimes, I wish i had more holidays. We also can get into arguments in public wich I am kinda paranoid about, sometimes she blames my AS For the arguement in front of public if i disagree with her or want to do something my way.

Any way, being my wife and the mother of my kids and the one i still some how love and she still strangely somehow loves me I dont really want to lose my wife, things have been tough in the last few weeks and i have been surfin the net for answers, I ignored having AS for 2 years after being diagnosed till recent when I started some research on the net.

After much reading on the net i have noticed alot of what my wife said to me was right and i was wrong, not really something i want to admit but denying it wont get me anywere, things look pretty bad for us now knowing that i am going to just be a problem husband and our kids will see our arguments. I also have got to a stage were as soon as a argument starts i block everything and tell her to stop or shut up becuase once voices are raised i cant think any more and everything i say comes out the opposite to how it should

any way i have decided that it might be best if we seperate for good this time, i still love her and will miss her company no matter how bad things got before, it kinda feels weird what i am doing..

she is still living with me but will be moving to a house a couple of hours drive from here in the next week or two.

my head has really been acting weird lately, i cant seem to work out what to say or do anymore, we both have agreed this is the right thing but also we both are kind off unsure if we should really do it or if learning about my AS would make a positive change in me, i have already made a few adjustments to my socail behavoiur that i have noticed gain me a little more respect at work but this is a hard decision, i dont want to fight anymore, i can only take it now for a few seconds and i get a buz in my head leaving me with no way to make a constructive reply, its a hard time for a family rite before christmas to seperate but i dont know what to do, am i making a smart decision in seperating or will i just regret it when i am alone, i also feel real bad about what my wife has been through being with me.
all through our time together she has had no probs showing her anger but she has also been a thoughtfull wife, she buys me little gifts and magazines all the time and makes up (although not real well) for my lack of housework abillities wich i always seem to take for granted, i feel real bad and kind of already miss her and she hasnt yet gone, i dont think she deserves to have to put up with my s**t any more, ive been lucky to experience marriage even if it wasnt a real good one and i also got 2 real cool kids out of it witch not everyone with AS seems to get.
What am i supposed to do?

Saw something on tv about fighting between couples. The "experts" said the couples
that faught and both kept talking stayed together. Those where only one of them would mainly talk they did not last. So if your not talking/fighting back enough you might try to stay in the fight more with her.

Give up and you lose everything you worked so hard to get in the first place. that is the cowards way, and I hate the cowards approach.

There are three different possible solutions, none of which are particularly appealing. I say pick whichever you find to be the lesser evil:

1.Find the 1 percent of everything you agree on and are both interested in and focus on that.
2. Pack your bags and leave (or get divorced). Not an option I'd recommend
3. Change your mind about everything and become more agreeable to your spouse. As challenging as it may sound, sometimes you need to give up your individuality and conform to the will of someone else to find peace in your life.

My wife and I have had about 20 years not knowing about AS and <1 year knowing AS.

Its easier knowing your traits and learning to adapt.

I think you should get some professional counselling.

(but on the other hand I would not take advice about relationships from me )

It doesn't matter. Do whatever works best. Streamline things to the best of your ability, and don't go to obviously ludicrous lengths for no good reason. Consider moving the both of you into a duplex. Consider getting homes in the same neighborhood, just far enough seperate not to intrude upon one another. Apparently, putting up with each other 24/7 isn't working, but you apparently care for each other and apparently are having good sex. Be creative.