How to be attractive to someone?

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In light of another post I made last night, I have to ask, how the heck do I ever make myself attractive enought that women will want me? As it stands I am happy with how I look - my wardrobe could use some adjustment, but I believe I look attractive. There have been girls in the past that have told me that I am cute.

So, I don't know how that explains how no girls have ever felt attracted to me. What do I need to do to make them attracted to me? Do I need to drink? Do I need to touch them sensually? What do I need to do other than spraying some TAG on me?

If you want to know how to play the game, i can provide you a link to some guy who has studied it and all girls secrets..

Excercise, pursue a hobby (preferably one that is typically attractive to the opposite sex, such as say, playing guitar), have a sense of humor (that can be a challenge for some people unfortunately), and behave kindly towards women (which I don't think should be a challenge for you). Also try to overcome your social anxiety and pursue non-threatening friendships with women (which may later develop into some kind of relationship).

Last edited by Yupa on 23 Nov 2006, 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

But stay away from the sosuave.net forums. They've gotten pretty rediculous.

I'd say as labourous as it sounds to accomplish, read a book specific to 'being attractive to the opposite sex'

What, attractive to ALL women or just one in particular?

Attractive to all women is, I'm afraid, an impossibility. Or at least highly improbable. Every one of them is different. Makes it a bit difficult, that way.
Attractive to a specific woman is much easier, in comparison. Just find out what she's into.

It's also relatively easy to be attractive to a small group of women who share common experiences and interests.

I hope this doesn't come accross as insulting. I don't know you at all, so this isn't specifically targeted at you, but in general:

1) Be clean. Shower regularly, wash your hair, trim your beard (if you have one), wear deoderant
2) Wear clean clothes. Fashionable is not nearly as important as clean.
3) Have clean breath. Brush your teeth, chew gum, etc...

You can't change what you look like (much). You can't (and shouldn't) change who you are. These things you can control.

Other than that, exercise is a really great suggestion.

Again, this may not apply to you at all, but I have met more than one person who couldn't understand why women were not attracted to them as dandruff cascaded from their oily, unwashed hair and their breath made me nearly gag.

Just my thoughts, take or leave them as you will.

This is going to sound ridiculous..

But the only times I've ever attracted women (6-7 times), were when I didn't actually care about attracting them at all and was focused on music.

I know being clean is important, but another note I must mention.. is that I don't wash for weeks at a time, I don't shave, I find it hard to have any semblance of hygeine, and this seems to actually attract!

I'm not saying be dirty, I'm saying be yourself, I don't think its my dirtyness that attracts them, I think its the fact that I don't care and I'm just being myself. I don't think its music or guitar that attracts them I think its how much passion I actually have for it.

I keep my breath clean when I see them, of course I'll shower if we're going out or something, but generally the less I focus on actually attracting, and focus on myself, the more interest I seem to attract.

Sounds ridiculous I know, of course many women love to be fawned over, but in the beginning, one of the key attractants, is a man that can stand on his own two feet, a man that doesn't seem desperate to impress, a man that doesn't seem to "need" her attention..

I think its because they feel like they're doing something with you, or joining your fight (for music, truth, whatever you're passionate about) instead of instantly being trapped in a partnership..

This is just from my experience however, I've never ended up happy with someone (because of my obsessive tendencies) but I have been close to 5-6 women, and I'm only 21.

I'm alone now, and lately have actually TRIED attracting certain women, it pretty much always backfires, I got right back into obsession with music, and a day later I heard from a girl I've been thinking about a while.

Just an idea, I think my approach is highly personalised, I'm just saying most people can pick up on intention in a way we can't, so if your intention is to make a relationship, it will tend to scare most people off, if you can project an aura of driving confidence, I think your chances are much greater.

Its funny, in order to learn I've asked every one I've been with exactly WHY she liked me, it always came down to: "very passionate, very smart, very "rugged and manly".

It seems the various extremes of my personality are what work, and me actually being comfortable with them. Also I've taught or played guitar to or with every single woman I've been with... In the beginning however, I simply asked her what she wants out of life, the general answer is "I don't know" which leads me to tell her all the things I hope to achieve, all the possibilities she can do, my obsession with infinity etc.

Intrigue goes a long way, sorry I know its annoying, but be who you are! Of course there are certain things to learn, but these must be learnt from your perspective, not trying to force it into anothers.

um hey... I think this might be another tremendously productive lead, found embedded in the articles section-check if groovydruid is still active

__
"DEAR ASPIE..."
Do you have questions about body language, small talk, flirting, and other non-verbal mysteries? Want to get some straight answers? PM your questions to GroovyDruid and read them published and explained in his blog! "
http://www.wrongplanet.net/article293.html
---


though..there isn't really anything a guy could do to make himself (and keep) attractive to me-he either is or he isn't based on whether he has the rare power of connecting directly to my brain and emotions, and thus my heart, soul, and forever admiration.

maybe there is something in that.

though..there isn't really anything a guy could do to make himself (and keep) attractive to me-he either is or he isn't based on whether he has the rare power of connecting directly to my brain and emotions, and thus my heart, soul, and forever admiration.


Wow...

Thats how I am with certain women..

I always wondered what was so sexy about a guitar player

It means the guy has talent and imagination that he can apply and show off. And human beings, just like birds, are attracted to potential partners by song. One skilled in music, particularly the guitar, the instrument that has possibly the most life and energy, is one who is vibrant and energetic. And I don't even really need to say what a guitar symbolizes from a Freudian pespective.

In that case no wonder I love playing guitar and stroking my .... ego

don't change yourself for anyone but yourself.

Last edited by alex on 25 Nov 2006, 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SeaBright! Where ya' been?

I think maybe women like men who are good conversationalists. I don't know. I'm still workin' it. I'll have to get back to you.