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ComradeKael
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18 Nov 2012, 4:59 am

Hello everyone. I am currently dating someone with split personality disorder, also known as Dissociative Personality Disorder. The situation is... difficult to say the least. I had originally been involved with her main and usual personality, but the main personality wants to meet in real life before we continue the relationship. However, another of her personalities (We'll call her "L") soon made it clear she too was romantically interested in me. L is very child like, but in a good way. I am romantically interested in L too, so I became her boyfriend.

Clearly. This is a difficult situation. Does anyone have any advice with this relationship? I really care about this girl, her main personality and her secondary one called L. Though L is technically the only one that is my girlfriend.



ComradeKael
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18 Nov 2012, 3:13 pm

And as per the usual my threads are ignored. *Shrugs*



BlueMax
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18 Nov 2012, 3:15 pm

What could we possibly say... hope both personalities in the same body like you so when they switch, they both want a turn? :oops:

Do the personalities know what each other are doing??

It's hard for me to grasp... what if one dumps you and the other doesn't - they share the body!!



ComradeKael
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18 Nov 2012, 3:26 pm

BlueMax wrote:
What could we possibly say... hope both personalities in the same body like you so when they switch, they both want a turn? :oops:

Do the personalities know what each other are doing??

It's hard for me to grasp... what if one dumps you and the other doesn't - they share the body!!


Her main personality is asexual. So... none of that. No. They're not aware of what the other does. They're aware of their existence, but not their actions.

I'm only dating one personality. The others I am not.



starryeyedvoyager
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19 Nov 2012, 3:55 am

Well, I think the reason why there's little response to this is that very few people have experience with this sort of thing, and extrapolation of "usual" dating experience isn't really possible.
I am no psychologist, psychiatrist or neurologist, (and even if I was, distance diagnosis isn't something a respectable representative of these professions would do), all I can ask you is this: Is the one personality you fancy (and that fancies you) really worth the trouble? And I don't mean trouble as in "mild inconvenience", but as in "life altering changes of monumental proportions". Can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone that is, more or less, two different persons? I know that I couldn't handle such a thing, besides the obvious dangers stemming from a person that is mentally unstable and unpredictable. What if some kind of jealousy or other triangle-affair related problems occur between you and her/them? I know you said they are not aware of each others' actions (an assumption I wouldn't bet on, to be honest... what tells you this isn't going to change in the future, or that the awareness is simply subconcious and influences her actions this way?), but even if they aren't, as soon as another person is involved, the awareness is, sooner or later, going to develope through outside sources. Imagine taking pictures together, or meeting other folks and them later talking about you while her "other her" is active.
I know you cannot reason with emotion, but if I were you, I'd sit down again and think this through very diligently. This isn't a minor mental condition like, say, clinical depression (which in itself can be bad enough), we are talking a major psychological derangement, and one that you can do very little about.
In other words, let me ask the following question: What do you seek to gain from a potential relationship with her?



Geekonychus
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19 Nov 2012, 12:19 pm

Quote:
In other words, let me ask the following question: What do you seek to gain from a potential relationship with her?


Presumably he wants romance and companionship. Just because she has a pretty severe psychological condition doesn't mean she's dangerous either. I think it's admirable that he's willing to enter into such a relationship despite the unique challenge. He should be encouraged.

My advice to you is fairly simple. Be yourself and be open. If you truly have something than all three of you should be willing to communicate honestly. I'm sure it will be a challenge but make sure both personailities know you're committed to making it work.



Stalk
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19 Nov 2012, 1:48 pm

Have you met both personalities? How do you know which personality you are talking to?

I will be watching this thread, as this is very unique to read about.



MrXxx
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19 Nov 2012, 1:56 pm

I'd get too lost in trying to remember which of them I've told what over time. Too complicated for me... :shrug:

One personality is hard enough to deal with, male or female.


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BlueMax
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19 Nov 2012, 1:59 pm

Somehow I see dark things ahead... I once experienced going to bed with someone who woke up in the middle of the night and started freaking out not knowing who this naked stranger was. That was just too unpleasant to accurately describe - it was bad for me and terrifying for her.

I really advise extreme caution...



ComradeKael
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19 Nov 2012, 2:08 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Quote:
In other words, let me ask the following question: What do you seek to gain from a potential relationship with her?


Presumably he wants romance and companionship. Just because she has a pretty severe psychological condition doesn't mean she's dangerous either. I think it's admirable that he's willing to enter into such a relationship despite the unique challenge. He should be encouraged.

My advice to you is fairly simple. Be yourself and be open. If you truly have something than all three of you should be willing to communicate honestly. I'm sure it will be a challenge but make sure both personailities know you're committed to making it work.


You're correct. I want a romance with this girl. Not because I'm lonely or anything, but because I honestly care about this girl. She was up front about the issues she had to me when I first met here and I knew what I was getting into. It is something that I know may be difficult, but because I care about this girl so much I have no problem with this matter. She's not dangerous at all. I have kept in mind that there may be subtle influences on the subconscious level, but, again, this is something I am fine with.

I can tell which one I am talking to because they... act like different people. They have different interest, type differently... It's fairly easy for me to tell. The one I'm actually dating is a bit of a trickster though, so she might pretend to be the main personality for humor purposes. Which is fine. I'm a bit insulted that starrteyedvoager's response is pretty much, "How can you date someone with a psychological issue?". We're... Autistic here aren't we? Should people not bother with us because of the potential "issues" that arise?

Loving someone isn't a about an easy ride all the time. There's hurdles and issues you have to overcome.



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19 Nov 2012, 2:29 pm

ComradeKael wrote:
Loving someone isn't a about an easy ride all the time. There's hurdles and issues you have to overcome.


...and the number of hurdles you'll have in this relationship go up exponentially with each personality she has.



MrXxx
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19 Nov 2012, 2:46 pm

BlueMax wrote:
ComradeKael wrote:
Loving someone isn't a about an easy ride all the time. There's hurdles and issues you have to overcome.


...and the number of hurdles you'll have in this relationship go up exponentially with each personality she has.


Aaayuh!


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Geekonychus
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19 Nov 2012, 3:32 pm

Sounds to me like you have a handle on it. Best of luck!



ComradeKael
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19 Nov 2012, 3:49 pm

BlueMax wrote:
ComradeKael wrote:
Loving someone isn't a about an easy ride all the time. There's hurdles and issues you have to overcome.


...and the number of hurdles you'll have in this relationship go up exponentially with each personality she has.


Quote:
Wanna' make me blissfully happy? Stay with me through the hard times and keep loving me when things are less than perfect.


So you want people to stick with you through hard times. But you're not willing to do it for someone else?



ComradeKael
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19 Nov 2012, 3:49 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Sounds to me like you have a handle on it. Best of luck!


I appreciate it!



BlueMax
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19 Nov 2012, 4:03 pm

ComradeKael wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
ComradeKael wrote:
Loving someone isn't a about an easy ride all the time. There's hurdles and issues you have to overcome.


...and the number of hurdles you'll have in this relationship go up exponentially with each personality she has.


Quote:
Wanna' make me blissfully happy? Stay with me through the hard times and keep loving me when things are less than perfect.


So you want people to stick with you through hard times. But you're not willing to do it for someone else?


Way to put words in my mouth, bub. :x

I never once said, "don't do it" did I? Read 'em all again - twice if you have to - you won't find it.

I'm only saying this is going to be far more difficult for you than any "standard" relationship. Read my example of the woman who woke up beside me with some sort of night terrors and forgot who I was... you'll have to deal with that kind of crazy stuff. Be prepared for it is all I cautioned.

Got it? ;)