How do you "get out there"...

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...when there's basically nothing to do in your area for over 18's hobby/club wise, and you don't really have any interests yourself?

The gay clubs here (as I'm lesbian) are full of the butch types that I'm really not attracted to, plus it's full of chavs and overbearing people that I just can't be around. I've tried getting friends before dating, and it's not working out. I've tried the dating sites, I go to conventions, and still I have no luck.

Do you think I'm just doomed to not find someone, not even some friends?

Have you checked out meetup.com? It's a site where people organize regular meet-ups for stuff, whatever. Like, I go to a couple different programming meet-ups that happen every month in my city. It's way more effective than sitting around a coffee shop hoping someone will talk to me.

I looked on here and put my postcode in but nothing was very local to me, it was all in another city Thanks though.

I have that problem in my area. The 3 girlfriends I had I met online from posting on forums a lot; 2nd & current liked the post I made here. You could try looking on dating or gay sites

That's difficult but you don't have to find something very specific or technical, try looking for a walking group or some kind of activity that you know you can do well. Try to do some voluntary work, you are bound to meet some good people from doing something like that.

I can't work lol. And to the above, I've already tried dating sites.

A gay bar full of chavs? What is the world coming to!

I don't really make myself "Get out there", as there is nothing around my area to do (Stockport), despite what they may lead you to believe.

I play with a band but no one really bothers with me there...

There really is crappy leisure centres/clubs in the UK to even bother. Although there is a dance one near where I live, it's full of kids who are sent there so their parents can breed even more of them...it's quite a mess.

I am considering voluntary but I work.

wow, this looks like the cure to my summertime boredom. thanks

where do you live ?

South East England.

I imagine you live in one of these lovely but dull suburbs but you can't that from London by train. I suggest you do some research on gay activities in the capital that line up with your interests and take it from there.

There has to be a club of sorts thats pretty decent around.

Yes you may need to make a bit of an effort to get there(I have some sort of wingman he has to spend half an hour on the bus and half an hour walking to go to most meetings) but its usually very worth it(wingman thought I was crazy when I suggested he came along because of this now I inform him of my group plans every week because I know that he´ll most likely be interested).

I had an issue finding the first club but once thats done you´ll find people inviting you to similar clubs...Just so you have an idea, if I went to every meeting Ive been invited to I´d have no time for socializing outside groups and Im not that social/Im limiting things to one interest(as soon as you arrive to a new group its common to tell your background and name any similar clubs you are involved in...)

My friend keeps coming back because people at groups are usually open to talk to anyone and it makes the whole approaching much easier.

You may not find someone suitable there but Ive found that it helps becoming more comfortable when approaching random people on the streets and whatnot(hey Ive met plenty of people from the internet and nothing bad has ever happened, whats the worse this person could do if I approach them on a friendly manner)

Honestly I'm not interested in hooking up in nightclubs, because I've found anyone I try getting numbers off in clubs has just made a right mug out of me and used me because I'm gullible. Not to mention most of these people are just looking for one night stands, where all I wanna do is make a few friends and find myself a committed partner.

There's nothing to do for my age group to be honest. I've looked online at like martial arts and stuff, but they're too expensive, and you either get people under 17 (too young) or people that are like 35+ because they're there with their kids. Need to find something that's not gonna cost me a lot, or even better, free, and something that aims for 18+ and mostly people in their 20's.

Where I live, it's just all shops. There's only 3 leisure centre's that surround me, and I've already got a gym membership that I'm struggling to get the motivation for, and I don't use leisure facilities anyway.

There are 2 people in my therapy group that are nice, but unfortunately we can't really make friends with them outside of the group because it's "therapy intefering" behaviour (don't ask, it's a long story lol) and I've just discovered that these people like to talk and talk anyway ><

I tried an LGBT youth group, but because it's 13-21 year olds, it was all school kids that I just couldn't handle, so I stopped attending that.

I'm just stuck at a dead end. It's not like I'm making excuses, it's just generally a sh*tty area. I think unless you're a teen mother and interested in smoking and boozing in the park on a school night, you're not gonna have anything to do.

I suppose I'll have driving as something to do once I pass my test, whenever that will be.

You might try starting a Meetup group for something. If there is nothign in your area, there still have to be other people looking on that site for things to do. Plan something and put the date a few weeks out. I know when there are new groups in my area I get email alerts.