So what do you think of this piece of advice?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Jul 2012, 9:24 am

http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_g ... d_you.html

DialAForAwesome
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30 Jul 2012, 9:56 am

Pretty much true with this new generation of girls.

You wanna know the ironic part though? They're setting back women's rights by about 45 years and they don't even know it.

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mv
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30 Jul 2012, 9:56 am

I think it's great advice. For a very small subset of women.

ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT! I'm personally horrified by the "advice". I need equality in some situations and I need to lead in other situations. If I trust your judgment, I'll let you lead in some situations, but I need to get to know your judgment first. As for the games crap, well, that's just crap.

Who knows who the target audience is, here? Maybe this is perfect advice if you're dating high school girls. For me (even in high school), not so much. :eew:

spongy
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30 Jul 2012, 9:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/155478/motivation/she_rejected_you.html

The article encourages males to set up a more suitable date if someone doesnt show up.
Imo if the other party is interested they´ll make sure to let you know/tell you a more suitable time themselves.
Approaching them a second time after they dont show up is just telling the other person that they can do whatever they want and you are extremely likely to forgive them which is something that you should avoid if you want to have a healthy relationship

minotaurheadcheese
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30 Jul 2012, 10:33 am

mv wrote:

This.

Personally I would be very put off if someone followed a lot of that advice. I'd just end up being confused and thinking it wasn't worth the trouble to figure it out. Directness (in a respectful way) is a lot more attractive and approachable to me. But, that's just me; as you say, for certain groups of women this might work really well.

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ArrantPariah
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30 Jul 2012, 10:38 am

Some people are over-thinking. No one piece of advice is going to be applicable to everyone.

Some women like to be in control

JanuaryMan
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30 Jul 2012, 10:57 am

I think the article might be more effective for women in your area, Boo

MXH
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30 Jul 2012, 11:00 am

its the same sorts of things ive heard of both men and women doing. do they work? who f*****g knows. Do a lot of people try them? you bet your ass they do.

Shatbat
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30 Jul 2012, 11:05 am

I'll go a bit against the current there.

Blindly following any kind of advice is folly, in my opinion, but depending on the recipient it can still be useful, especially if what they were doing before was worse.

Many people keep asking and asking "where do YOU want to go", and it may be off-putting to some women, when they realize that it comes from a desire to please and do whatever she says instead of having their own plans and their own initiative. There is some cultural expectation that men must take the lead, come up with the plans, and it must be taken into account.

About the second scene, I'd say the underlying problem is clingyness. There are many intense guys who call often and a lot, and seriously, is the second date really the best time to start talking about feelings being developed? For clingy guys, the second scene would be an step forward while they figure out all the intrincacies.

Third scene: Many guys just keep calling and calling and calling to the point it becomes unsettling. And again, clingy. I've been in situations where a woman receives a call, sees the caller ID and exclaims "oh, it's him again, what a pain in the ass!". If someone is that guy, then that piece of advice would also be a step forward. Many guys don't take "no" for an answer, and don't accept that maybe the woman in question just doesn't want to hang out as often, or at all, and are pushy.

Quote:

~Men who LEAD. Men who are in control of themselves and situations.
~Men who MAKE DECISIONS and stand by them. (This is why you can
ask a girl what she wants and take her to her favourite cafe / club
tell her how you feel about her and watch as she loses interest in you.)
~Men who treat them well but don't allow the woman to control them.
~Men who show respect for women enough to take no for an answer.
~Men who look after their personal hygiene and grooming
~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.

Those seem like very reasonable things to ask, in my opinion. Except maybe the second, there is nothing instrinsically wrong with asking her what she wants to do - unless you do that all the time. Oh and maybe being a leader is not something universal, either. But it is usually an attractive quality, usually more for women than for men, although for any person, regardless of gender, being able to lead is a good thing.

Bottom line: as far as advice goes, this one is not bad. Knowing the reasoning behind that advice and being able to make your own decisions based on that reasoning is much better though.

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ArrantPariah
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30 Jul 2012, 11:47 am

Shatbat wrote:

Quote:

~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.

If you didn't have sex as an objective, then why bother?

spongy
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30 Jul 2012, 11:56 am

ArrantPariah wrote:

Shatbat wrote:

Quote:

~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.

If you didn't have sex as an objective, then why bother?

No one says that you should ignore the sex but almost nobody wants to be seen as just a piece of meat(regardless of their gender)

Common advice is to try to get to know the person at the same time/get to know them for a while and then bring up a possible relationship if you think that theres enough compatibility/chemistry/what went beyond their looks wasnt too bad and you think you can put up with that.

PastFixations
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30 Jul 2012, 12:08 pm

Hmmm... I dunno...
There's being a leader and there's being dominant.
Nobody wants to be totally dominated by one person in a relationship... not even if they were into BDSM.

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Shatbat
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30 Jul 2012, 12:12 pm

spongy wrote:

ArrantPariah wrote:

Shatbat wrote:

Quote:

~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.

If you didn't have sex as an objective, then why bother?

No one says that you should ignore the sex but almost nobody wants to be seen as just a piece of meat(regardless of their gender)

I agree. There is one part of ourselves that wants sex, too, and it should not be ignored, but seeing other women as tools to archieve an endl (this time, sex) instead of seeing them as other people with their own motivations who are ends by themselves, can be seen as the definition of creepy.

I soooo want to read Kant right now :lol:

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spongy
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31 Jul 2012, 11:16 am

ShamelessGit wrote:

I looked into pickup artistry a couple years ago and they said very similar things. And it works too. I know it works because I had been trying frantically to get a girlfriend for 2 years before then, and then I picked up my first girlfriend 2 weeks after I first bought the product.

A lot of women here say that all women are different, but they are probably just saying that because they don't like to be categorized, and also because they are aspie and aspies tend to be individuals more often than NT. I've tried this style of dating multiple times and 9/10 it works. It works because women in general (like men, but in different ways) are too f***ing stupid to realize that they aren't living in the stone age anymore and are fully capable to taking care of themselves without a man.

It works most of the time and that is the whole story without any ifs ands or buts.

Im happy that you found something that works for you.

However after being to local PUA meetups to do some extensive research and finding people with extreme social anxiety that had been reading into it for several years and were still scared to approach most girls(unsure as to why they kept going but one of this guys did an excellent reading of my posture in less than 2 minutes for example) I can certainly say that PUA deserves a look at but it shouldnt be treated as a magical pill that will just sort your life out no matter what your problems are, which sadly its what happens quite frequently.

MXH
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31 Jul 2012, 12:38 pm

spongy wrote:

ShamelessGit wrote:

Glad to see someone finally say what ive been saying for so long.

thewhitrbbit
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31 Jul 2012, 1:14 pm

Pretty good advice in general.

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