Fear of trusting, opening up to NT's

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I want to thank everyone who responded to my previous post. I was so touched with the heartfelt advice. It _really_ helped me. Learning about the sensory overload that Aspies experience has opened up my eyes to having to be more sensitive and give a lot of space. I feared another breakup with the man that I'm involved with. He was very resistant to opening up, trusting, talking about anything emotional. He still hasn't admitted that he probably has AS (won't even mention the word), but he has started to talk finally (and I am _so_ happy!) I know that pushing too much was making him retreat more, however, I felt that if I didn't call him out on some issues we were having that he would never realise our problems. I feel that if we are to move forward together that we had to address the different way that we relate, or in his case, not relate, to each other. He is always saying that he's hopeless, will never have a relationship work out and that he should be alone. Past relationships didn't work out, and he's already gotten scared and broken up with me once before. Now he wants to talk and find out what actions he's taken or not taken that have upset me. Taking the advice that I was given here, I did back off a bit and wait. And I was rewarded. Wow. I can't recommend the book, 'Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships' by Ashley Stanford enough. I am reading everything I can on the subject. I know that staying in this relationship isn't going to be easy, however, the man that I'm with is such an intelligent, funny, interesting, sweet guy. I see that the difficulty he has showing empathy, affection, etc. isn't his fault. I want to thank the members that have responded to my posts for not treating me like the enemy. NT's can be cruel to Aspies, but we just need to be educated. We do have our problems, too.

You're quite welcome and I'm glad I was able to help you. And thank you for the update, as well. It's nice to hear from you again.

Wish you all success in your relationship ... thanks for the nice post

No, you weren't sarcastic, etc. to me personally. What I meant about feeling like the
enemy is that there is alot of dislike, even hate, on this site by Aspies for NT's. I wouldn't even presume to know what it's like to be in an Aspie's shoes, and I know that
they have been treated horribly by many NT's. Still, I think that everyone needs someone, and you shouldn't shut yourself off from people. That is just my opinion. I'm still trying to understand that many Aspies don't feel the loss of having human contact, someone special in their lives. Is that true?

Thank you for the compliment! I'm flattered. I think that the big problem with NT's
is that we just have NO IDEA about Asperger's Syndrome. I know that if this were a
perfect world, that everyone would be kind to 'geeks,' the awkward and shy, handicapped, etc. We shouldn't have to know that someone has AS to treat them decently. Family, partners, teachers, etc. though, need to know so we can have better
relationships and understanding. What is CAN/DAN/FAN? Are you saying what I said
isn't the same old, same old? As in that people keep telling you that you should try harder, be more like an NT? BTW, I am going to be ordering the book, "Loving Mr.
Spock." I had read some reviews on Amazon. Thanks for the tip.

What do you- and anyone else- think of compromise with Aspies/NT relationships, whether they be romantic, family, etc.?

Can I ask what you are seeking? What kind of person do you need? Do you think that you can compromise a little if you found someone that meets part of your criteria?

I just saw your answer while reading the post, 'Do you believe in different types of love?' Do you belong to a church or religious organization?

Wow you seem like a really nice person riverdale. I would like to meet a girl like you in real life.

I see nothing wrong with dating an NT.

my first girlfriend was an NT.

a lot of my close girl-friends are NT.

the way I see it, the more NT friends you have, the more you learn. and by that, you start becoming more socially aware, and with that, you gain a greater knowledge.

really simple.