A Quick Oprah Moment...

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How many of you make a deliberate effort to say "I love you" to yourselves at least once a day and with conviction? For those of you who have done so for years, in how many ways do you feel its enhanced your ability to be a better partner and even parent?

Haven't - not so far - but it's worth a try.

I don't, because I don't XD

i used to before my accident n used to call myself a sexy bastard now i dont look good again i hate myself

Pretty much this. Maybe if I reach a point were it feels genuine when I say it then I will, but otherwise I'm not sure how much value an affirmation would have for me.

I tried it once after i had read a Louise L. Hay book, but i didn't like it. It's ridiculous and a lie anyway.

no, i have not said it to myself, because i would hope that my own self would be the one person who would implicitly understand my own unspoken feelings. i DO love myself, and loving myself has made a massive difference in my ability to be a better person accomplish the things i want to do. but speaking it out loud is unnecessary for that end.

i think some people might believe that if you love yourself, you think that you are perfect or something. it's not the case, because most loving relationships are built on a solid understanding of the person's faults and problems (even if the person is one's self). love is built on respect, so i treat myself better since i came to love myself. i eat proper foods, i exercise more, i keep my mind active, i surround myself with people who treat me well, i do jobs that are good for my mental health, etc. before i loved myself, i treated myself really badly.

maybe those people who recommend saying it aloud believe that it will kick-start a person into loving themselves more? i would question whether that has worked in a relationship ever.

Just in my own recent practice - I think it can help on ones own personal level (as for relationships - who knows, albeit its probably a better thing to try inbetween while single and see about later than try in order to salvage something). It really seems to be more about resolving and working out your own intentions, knowing your intentions, and when you say "I love you" to yourself its saying to yourself "I edify you".

As for some of the suggestions that if you already do you don't need to say that - likely true under pleasant circumstances but if you have a tendency to berate yourself for mistakes it can be an important thing to have in your arsenal as an antidote to attacks. Similarly I think it could help, not only keep someone in a positive frame and have more energy/positivity to show love but also keep them walking the highroad. Clearly a person could misuse if they're erring narcissistic anyway but I tend to think that's more the rarity.

I tried it before for a while years ago after my psych suggested it. It did not help me at all. It made me feel kind of icky for saying something so incredibly fake sounding & I also worried that I was narcissistic every time I said it. I had been called that before by people who didn't understand my depression & other issues I was complaining/ranting about & telling myself that I loved myself or something similar made me feel worse because I was proving I was narcissistic. I do love myself now but I got there by trying to understand myself & the issues I faced & trying to find ways to gradually improve them. I'm very practical & goal oriented; I need to see benefits or understand how something will help me.

I'd agree that its something that you'd only do when it inherently makes sense to you. I never would have before either but I hit a point where I came to the conclusion that it was invaluable - still there and it should be interesting to see if it continues to be helpful.

I don't, to myself. But I do tell my kids every day that I love them.

I tell my girlfriend that I love her lots thought the day & I really do mean that

Not me. I tried a similar thing once a night for two weeks and it did nothing for me. I've hated myself for so long, I can tell myself "I hate you" so easily (or at least I could), but "I love you" is a lie. When I would look at myself in the mirror, the first words I could think of were "I'm ugly". I had reasons to hate myself, I had proof that I was worthless, and no one could deny this proof, certainly because I was too ashamed to tell anyone ever. Except, I told my boyfriend my secrets, and he still loves me. He proves to me everyday that I'm not worthless. Through his eyes I might one day be able to love myself. But for now I accept the small progress I have made where I can look at myself and say "You're not so bad, I guess." And I'm caring more about myself, taking better care of myself.

If the love of another can do this, I imagine true love for oneself can work wonders. There's a saying that you can't love others until you love yourself, but perhaps love is something that doesn't follow rules like that.

I think that when the right point in life comes you can tell that rather than telling yourself a lie your bolstering a conscious decision. It might be a bit tough to explain any other way.

Sometimes it's not just about saying it towards yourself but it's about expressing kindness and compassion towards your inner self and building positive self talk, that's not easy for someone who has an negative or cynical mindset and it can definitely take time. I think self acceptance and understanding is the way forward though but it is definitely something that takes time.

LOL! I would never say something like that to myself. That sounds too silly; I'll say it to people I love, however.