Why do men want a relationship?

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I'm asking because it seems like the majority of men lamenting the lack of a relationship are using it more as a backing point to why they never lost their virginity. Why is it that a lot of you seem to think of a relationship as a vehicle to losing your virginity?

Am I misreading the several topics about being ashamed of being a virgin (which to be honest is underrated in this day and age)? Or do I have good reason to be ashamed of my fellow males?

I for one don't want to have a relationship so I can lose my virginity. I also have no shame in being a virgin or *gasp* saying I am one when people ask me any sexual related questions.

Do I want to be in a relationship? Of course. But it gets under my skin that I always seem to see a disturbing correlation between people who groan about not being in a relationship while the real issue is that they just want to lose their virginity.

Sex does not equal love.

I just find it so sad to see men placing an undue amount of importance on losing their virginity.

Last edited by Taverson on 20 Oct 2012, 5:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.

It is technically a gender-identity, culturally-taught thing.
Men are praised for losing their virginity. Women are put down for it (and in older times, probably stoned to death). The entire idea is completely messed up. In someways it is depicted as marking the entrance to man-hood, asserting dominance, etc. Have that subtly shoved into your head your whole life can definitely make you ashamed - we're taught to be.

I am a male virgin and yes, I won't have sex outside of a meaningful relationship. In fact, if given the choice between a relationship and sex, I would rather have the relationship (so long as we could cuddle).

In general it may be wiser to wait until you're in a relationship to have sex. It's less risky and probably more meaningful when it's with someone you're in a relationship with. You might see a disconnect between emotional feelings and sexual pleasure, and that's fine, but not everyone thinks the same way.

Or maybe it's because that love thing actually feels pretty damn good. How lucky you are yet to find it.

Par for the course, if a guy is that inept socially, it's no surprise a woman wouldn't be willing to sleep with him, let alone start a relationship with him, so the two go hand-in-hand.

I don't see what you're so bothered by exactly. If they had relationships in the first place, they probably wouldn't be virgins to begin with.

Yes I would like a meaningful relationship first too then move to the intimate relationship-I would like to experience sex as have all of my peers have-I do not like it when my peers that are in relationships and long term ones with sex tell me "oh you are not missing anything"-well first if it is no big deal and I am not missing anything why are they together and in a relationship at that time I do not see them giving up on it so it must be pretty good-I like to know a person and trust a person before I would consider more in a relationship-I just cant see not really knowing a person and right away to sexual activity. Just seems way too fast.

I think society has taught us that those who use prostitution are well, the worst of society, so we frame the original goal in the guise of a relationship so that we don't appear or feel like that group.

Society also taught us that relationships are generally happy positive places where we can develop and build the social education we weren't taught.

It's the equivalent of the larva looking at the butterfly

theres many men here including myself who arent virgins and would love a relationship.

What I mean is, why do people wanting a relationship put more emphasis on their virginity than just being around someone who loves them and accepts them for who they are?

It's rather sickening to see people just want a relationship because they're a virgin.

As I said they view relationships merely as a vehicle to losing their virginity.

It's despicable.

So it stems from a self-worth issue that they have to be like what society has subtly preached at them?

I think the virginity is emphasised so much, not because it is the more important issue, but because it is symbolic of all the issues. That is, it signifies that not only can they not find anyone now, but that they've never been able to. And they feel that losing it would give them hope, even if they were alone, at least they could feel like someone thought they were good enough.

We have a bingo!
The issue with virginity is to show how low they are in the chain. theres plenty of virgins who want women but dont a relationship.

So in your opinion, it's not so much that they're being pigs, it's more of a token gesture towards a possibly better future with someone they can share a mutual love & attraction with?

Pretty much, yeah.


Exactly.

Are you really offended that some men out there don't want to have casual, meaningless sex and want to reserve it for someone they love? ...and want a loving relationship??