New member, usual dating issues

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Hi, I have been browsing these boards for a month of two and decided to join. I have not been diagnosed with asperger's and I frankly don't see the point (it would only confirm that I am odd, which I already know). Many of the topics on these forums seem to reflect my personal experiences, so my lack of diagnoses is irrelevant in my opinion, since I can relate to so much on here.

As for a bit of background on me, I am currently working on a master's program. To be honest, one of the main reasons I simply opted to do this after graduating was because I am too anxious and lack the social skills needed to do interviews in a competitive job market. Getting into this program was a little stressful, but it doesn't compare to applying and interviewing for a real job. Regardless, I am happy to be doing this and I think it will be beneficial in my personal and career development.

I have to admit though, I sometimes question my path in life. I feel like I am always doing the right thing, and not the thing that makes me most happy. For example, the school I am attending for this program is over an hour away from the big city in which all my friends live. I live in the city where my school is, and I have no friends or social life. Lately I have been particularly bummed out because the girl I want to date is in this bigger city I mentioned, and things will obviously not work. Because I lack experience with women (and I am also extremely picky), I get overly attached when I find someone who I see as a potential lover. Lately I have had trouble concentrating on my masters work; I just daydream about the situation with her all day, even during class. Pretty pathetic eh? She is only the third girl I have even kissed. And I have only had one prior relationship and sexual partner. I haven't had sex in about 2 years now, unless you count a crappy blowjob in which I went soft earlier this year from some small fling that didn't amount to anything. I am in my early (but quickly approaching mid) 20's in case you are wondering. You know what's actually interesting about these three girls I have had some sort of experience with? They have all made the advances; I have still never asked a girl out, and I would have no idea how to if I wanted to give it a try. I don't think I lack confidence or that I am bad looking; I simply have no social skills or an ability to read body language/social cues etc.

To try to fill this void I recently signed up for okcupid, just to see what all the fuss is about. I like the concept of the website but I am not interesting enough to fill out my profile with cool and witty answers. My profile looks boring and bland. One thing I like about the site is that you can select matches by their diet (something important to me), so I hope that some girls who share this lifestyle choice with me will express some interest.

I don't really know what I am trying to say to be honest. I like this forum a lot. I thought I should introduce myself and give some background about myself since I have finally taken the plunge and joined.

One last thing to mention. It seems this is a British site, or at least a site dominated by British people. I apologize in advance if I don't understand your slang and terminology. I am Canadian, and although English is my first language, it is very interesting how differently Brits and Canadians talk.

< Is from the US

I find that there's a fairly large blend of all cultural communities on the forum.

Aside from that, if you already love someone - I'd say it's the first step. Make attempts to stay in contact via text and email - Aspies excel at that.

I think love is a little premature. And I have tried to occasionally send her messages without seeming too clingy. She isn't as frequent with responding as she once was before we talked about how we realistically couldn't be together right now

Your going to have to face the job market sooner or later, so might as well go for it.

There are some that say the best way for AS people to get relationships is not to try to go on the offensive and ask people out, but try to make themselves presentable and respectable that a girl will make a move.

I am looking into some resources to help me gain confidence in job interviews while I work on my masters, so that hopefully by the time I am done I will be ready to face the world.

I agree with your other point, and that is basically my relationship strategy in life. I know that I am incapable of picking up and playing the game, so I just try to make myself look as good as I can, invest in myself (education etc.) and just try to come across as a respectable guy.

Actually you can make yourself presentable and respectable whilst taking the initiative to any opportunities that to appear.