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aspiekelly
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14 Aug 2012, 1:15 pm

I am just wondering if there are any relationships on here, I am an Aspie and my new boyfriend is NT. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21 and now I'm 26. But he has Googled Asperger's and everything, which really surprised me. I had Asperger's boyfriends before I was diagnosed. I am just a total weirdo magnet and even had boyfriends who were married to someone else (I had no idea), I just really want this to work.

I know my problem is probably talking about babies and getting married.
I am divorced, was only married 5 months and have no children.



ValentineWiggin
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14 Aug 2012, 1:48 pm

Whoa. I could have written that- word for word. Aspie woman, NT beau, diagnosed @ 21, previous history with Aspie men.

Is talking about marriage and babies annoying your boyfriend?
What exactly did you need advice/opinions on?

:)


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SilkySifaka
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14 Aug 2012, 1:59 pm

I am a probable Aspie (self diagnosed) in a relationship with an NT man. I have done everything to scare him off, but somehow he is still here. I think that the right man won't be scared off (or at least, not very easily scared off). How long have you been together? You don't have to talk about babies and marriage straight away. I've always waited until the other person raises the subject.



DeathbyMonkeys
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17 Aug 2012, 5:37 pm

I'm in a relationship with a NT. But he doesn't believe I have aspergers.
I have never been in a diagnosed or boy who believes he has aspergers.
What is it like? Do you feel he understands you better?



RocketPeacock
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19 Aug 2012, 12:12 am

Another AS female/NT male relationship here! I personally think it works well because it lowers the gender difference, and means I am more direct than most females ("It's 'okay'." *storms off in anger at unspecified misdeed*)

Talking about marriage/babies before you've been together for at least a year sounds like a terrible idea. You're 26. You still have over a decade til' it's too late for children. Relax.



huytongirl
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24 Oct 2012, 4:00 pm

My own relationship with an NT man seems to be hitting the rocks. I try to explain things - why it is, for example, that sometimes being with other people, even nice people, even friends, is utterly intolerable - but I don't think it works. And that thing of getting heated and interrupting because I just can't help it, and it comes across as aggressive or whatever, and I try to explain, and I explain and explain and I get so sick of apologising and explaining. I love him so much but I don't think it's working - we argue so much and I spend so much time crying. This hurts so much. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.



RightGalaxy
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25 Oct 2012, 9:23 am

As crazy as this sounds, I think that most of the females here have guys that they think are NT and are actually aspie as well. Not all aspies fit the criteria. People would swear that my husband and I are NT but we are not. Some aspies are right at the edge of the NT world. Extremes are easy to recognize but what about the rest of us? The only thing that really stops me from going out more and being part of that big social whirl is MONEY.



RightGalaxy
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25 Oct 2012, 9:28 am

huytongirl wrote:
My own relationship with an NT man seems to be hitting the rocks. I try to explain things - why it is, for example, that sometimes being with other people, even nice people, even friends, is utterly intolerable - but I don't think it works. And that thing of getting heated and interrupting because I just can't help it, and it comes across as aggressive or whatever, and I try to explain, and I explain and explain and I get so sick of apologising and explaining. I love him so much but I don't think it's working - we argue so much and I spend so much time crying. This hurts so much. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.




You need somebody more like yourself. The difficult thing about meeting a person who doesn't like being around a lot of people is that they might shun you as well thinking you want to drag them out of their house and socialize.



DieselMcGunner
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26 Oct 2012, 4:06 pm

Same, I'm an Aspie female with an NT boyfriend. I don't think he's googled it, when we met I mentioned it and he was just like "oh, what's that then?" and we talked about it a bit, but he doesn't really act differently because of it (I don't think). His family did though, when I met his parents his dad proudly told me that he'd looked up Autism and went on to spend the day talking to me like Rainman until by boyfriend had a go at him.

I don't think any issues we may have are necessarily because of my AS. I'm exactly the opposite to you, I am definitely the less committal/affectionate one. I don't necessarily appreciate romantic gestures or constantly saying I love you, or making too many big plans. He's mentioned moving in together twice and I've found reasons to leave both times. But I don't think these are AS issues, I think it's the same level of difference (difficulty) as there would be in any relationship.



smudge
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26 Oct 2012, 4:37 pm

DieselMcGunner wrote:
Same, I'm an Aspie female with an NT boyfriend. I don't think he's googled it, when we met I mentioned it and he was just like "oh, what's that then?" and we talked about it a bit, but he doesn't really act differently because of it (I don't think). His family did though, when I met his parents his dad proudly told me that he'd looked up Autism and went on to spend the day talking to me like Rainman until by boyfriend had a go at him.


Lol!! ! Well, at least he tried I guess. Parents don't normally like me.

I wonder if aspie women in *general* get along better with NT or aspie men. All my relationships with aspie men haven't worked out. I've just asked out an NT man who knows everyone. What should I be expecting? Advice would be greatly appreciated.