Why Women Don't Initiate

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I always thought it was strange that men were expected to initiate things because in general they are less picky, so it it seems like there would be less rejection and women would get with the guy she really wanted more often, but I just thought of something recently that might explain why men have to start everything.

Recently a pretty girl I didn't know kept looking over at me during class, so I figured I'd sit next to where she usually sits next class so that we could chat. Usually when I do this sort of thing girls just sit there and let me start talking to them, but this girl came right up to me and introduced herself, and I wasn't prepared for it (I was distracted by a nerdy thing), so it was kind of awkward at first, but instead of being repelled by the awkwardness like most girls she just pushed through it and in a few minutes we had a very nice conversation. I thought she was very nice and I was impressed by her forwardness, but I always imagined having a nerdy girlfriend, and she was an art history major (I consider all majors without a mathematical basis to basically be majors in BS), and although she was nice I had difficulty imagining having sustained conversations with her, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to try to push things towards a relationship or not. I was torn between my desire for physical intimacy and not wanting to get a girl attached to me that I knew from the start that I would dump at some point. I was also thinking that maybe if I just gave her a chance that maybe I would like her better. I am not sure how many guys in my situation would choose to let the girl know that he didn't really like her that much, or even if very many of them would think twice about this sort of dilemma. I think guys tend to think that any relationship is better than none, but girls in general don't seem to think that way, otherwise it would not be so difficult to get a girlfriend. So it could be guys have to initiate things because when they do, at least the girl knows that the guy thinks that she is the most attractive girl of the pool he thinks he has a chance with, whereas if the girl initiates something, the guy's reaction probably can't tell her anything about how serious he is. It probably also has some sort of evolutionary thing where the girls have to try to get the guys to compete over them so that they get the best mate or something like that.

And by the way, I think I resolved my dilemma on accident by doing things like forgetting the girl's name next class and not being able to sustain the conversation like I did last time.

Another thing I thought was kind of odd about this girl was that in the course of our first conversation, she mentioned that she had a boyfriend. Is that not weird to give random guys you don't know that much attention when you already have a partner? I don't think I'd be very happy if I had a girlfriend who did stuff like that, and also, hitting on a girl who already has a boyfriend sounds like drama, which I abhor.

women never had to do anything but just sit back and look good [and choose a man], for the simple reason that they are stuck with the results of their choice for life.

And women let men have all the fun because "it's just the way it is". What about women who want to chase men?? It's not fair.

MXH and Jannisy - true. And, I do ask men out. I'd have never had a relationship otherwise (in the past I never noticed when someone showed any interest).

The problem is half the time they get scared off. I'm not sure how much of it is me...how much is them...and how much of it is that rule (I guess that's another way of saying it's them).

Interestingly my sister always pursues men too. I only just found this out the other day. It was only in recent years that I realised there was a rule that men should only chase. I just think as Jannisy said, that women are worried they'll be looked at in the wrong way. I guess they're not able to move on like I can, plus I've never been known to fit in with a crowd.