Trying desperately to figure out Gf.

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My GF has recently been talking about how "once she graduates, shesgoing to live with Pete (online friend of hers). Now I never got into this thinking we would get married or anything (im not THAT naieve) I still dont like a known shelf lif to be there. And the idea of her dropping me for a 28 year old creeper in Florida who raises lizards and has been legally dead 7 times from drug ODs, makes me want to scream

Then quit being a Doormat and tell her if she keeps saying that you'll leave her, If she is saying that to your face then you're just being walked on till she Granduates. On the other hand she could be trying to get a reaction from you.

Yeah maybe I ought to. I dont know, the fact that she asked me out implies im a reasonably attractive and likeable person. Its highl unlikely that shes the only girl I have a chance with

Then scream.
It sounds like she is trying to make you jealous because she wants you to show your feelings for her.

This really doesn't sound like a healthy dynamic for a relationship to have. Sounds like it might be best to split up or, at the very least, make your feelings known and give her an ultimatum of some sort.

"Then go live with him now... and don't come crawling back either."

Seriously - what a rotten thing of her to say. If she says it often, there's a chance she means it... how have you responded TO HER when she says this - hang your head and shuffle away? You don't need rotten people in your life... but WHY does she want to live with this guy anyway? For a relationship? For constant wild parties?

Your just 17, things will get much better in the future. But for now its not going to be easy.

I will make a few assumptions. One is she is near the same age as you and I will go with the pots odds she is a NT girl.
As young NT girl it would not be shocking if most of what she said was not exactly true.
Flakiness, bitchiness, emotional manipulation, guilt manipulation and relational aggression its what being a young neurotypical girl is about. She may not even know how to be honest.
That being said, you said,"legally dead 7 times from drug ODs" and "raises lizards". That sounds like a lot of near death experiences. And who raises lizards for a living? likely BS. To be honest who really knows what the real story is. Maybe its all a big online fantasy and none of it is real. A possibility is she is screwing around and having fun with other guys. Maybe has a taste for hard drugs.

Right now you need to focus on having good manners and working on your skills because it is how you will increase your value and services you can offer others. This is the most important thing.

If she drags you down she will not pull you back up, she will just jump to another guy. Life is selfish and not fair.

So manipulative... so middle-schoolish.

Personally I'd leave her.

Don't let her walk all over you talking about how she has someone better lined up once she graduates.

If it's a mindgame, then you don't need her playing your heart like that to provoke a response.

If it's the truth, then she views you as a stopgap. Better to end it now so you can get over it sooner.

Are you sure it wasn't sarcasm? It sounds so outlandish from your description I find it funny.

I didn't think about this. But could be sarcasm lol. Or could be she has lost her mind.

Its really a bit confusing. Im not sure if she just wants to live with this guy as friends or go for something more. In all actuality shapparent ly does have AS but it seems like that could be her psychotic parents diagnosing her with everything. Honestly she has some aspie issues that get to me. Like I have a hard time with social empathy, but I really really care about the feelings of others to make up for it. With her not so much.

Ive mentally prepared myself for any impending breakup and have told myself that if she does not make the relationship emotionall satisfying within X weeks I will end it.

Of course she doesent graduate for 2 years so maybe im overreacting. Still I do really wish she would consider my feelings when she talks about this online friend, she seems to display attraction to alot of men (I dont care about her infatuation with Robert Downey Jr., she isnt going to dump me for him)

This friend of hers is coming uptown in January to hang out with her in Chicago and I cant shake the idea of her cheating on me out of my head, literally it gnaws at my brains and makes me feel hatred for her or myself conversely.

On an additional note i I am pretty well mannered. Sadly im troub led by the "nice guy curse"

Still, I fear I may have to dump the "nice guy" s**t and tell her that in the words of Glenn Danzig: "I aint no goddamned son of a b***h"

or in Cinderellas words in "Nobodys fool"

Just now my girlfriend, was curling the hair of a young NT teenage girl. The girl told my girlfriend they were going to Walgreens, Wallmart then to the beach today with her grandma. My girlfriend talked to grandma and it turns out everything she said was not true. This friendly nice teenage girl just told my girlfriend a whole pile of lies with zero consequences. In my opinion this kind of behavior is normal with young NT girls. Everything they say is a form of dynamic relational manipulation. It is very different from the way an aspie may approach things.

When you said this, "her psychotic parents diagnosing her with everything" My opinion - 99.99% NT young chick behavior.
This is all very good experience for you, your in a process of learning difficult things.

Manners - A set of simplified rules to navigate social complexity without expending excessive energy.
Focus on building on your strengths



Most definitely. I am guessing we are taking about a 16 year old girl? The difference between a 16 and an 18 year old girl is like the difference between a 30 and a 50 year old women. It's a huge difference.

Maybe she just wants to see your reaction. Women will often do this (I've been guilty myself a few times), instead of saying to you "what are your plans for our future?" or "do you want to move in with me when I graduate", maybe she's saying this to see if you will be OK with it, not like it but go along with it anyway or fight for her and tell her you want her to stay. Maybe it's kind of an ultimatum; if you don't ask me to move in with you soon, I'll be gone and it will be too late so you have to decide.

Maybe I am a little over negative. When I was young I was totally clueless of all the social games that were played and did not understand how different women generally approached thing. So I was consistently blindsided and hurt.

Lay the pimp hand down!

Tell her that you're gonna start banging a girl who doesn't have her [insert physical flaw]. She will love you for it.

Kick her out. Don't give her second chances and don't ever waver, either. Just do it.