we were together until i said no sex for now

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Unmixed
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2012
Age: 68
Gender: Female
Posts: 36

08 Dec 2012, 1:24 pm

First of all, having just been 'diagnosed' on the autism scale yesterday, is it possible to be autistic, whatever level, and have such strong emotions around one person, experiencing jealousy to such an extent that I have felt intensely jealous [of him talking to another girl(female, woman)] --and to the extent that i can actually feel a burning in me---? Is it possible for me to be autistic and feel such an emotion as jealousy?? I am dubious of this diagnosis, but the psychologist said there is no going towards aspergers- which is the diagnosis i was looking for, (I am 54 yrs old and have sought, on my own, a diagnosis on the spectrum, which i believe is a spectrum, a continuum anyway.) Second, i would be interested if anyone can tell me anything about managing these emotions so that i may be able to help myself when i am online and see his indications of being online, and want him to message me... I keep saying hi first and he seems to be ignoring me. I think i have sent him into sensory overload.. I feel horrible... so alone... and desparate.. I have been abused in life, and am especially unable to manage my responses to even my own feelings, and seemingly have lost control. I finally came to this conclusion this afternoon and could use some real help. Hopefully here, someone who has similar experiences, with a good conclusion, will answer. Hopefully i can still have this person in my life. I have told him i will not have sexual contact with him until we are married.. and must abide by it, but i think it is confirmed in me that he is looking for an experience since he is a virgin and wants the experience of sex, all the way. to be completely honest, we tried, but he couldn't seem to maintain :oops: or attain, . . . and he said it was because of what his fear is,, that he will get *someone pregnant. oh, well, story told.. most of it, anyway, as far as my subject.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,959
Location:      

08 Dec 2012, 1:42 pm

Unmixed wrote:
First of all, having just been 'diagnosed' on the autism scale yesterday, is it possible to be autistic, whatever level, and have such strong emotions around one person, experiencing jealousy to such an extent that I have felt intensely jealous [of him talking to another girl(female, woman)] --and to the extent that i can actually feel a burning in me---?

Yes.

Unmixed wrote:
Is it possible for me to be autistic and feel such an emotion as jealousy??

Yes.

Autistics are not without emotion. We just have ways of expressing or handling our emotions that may seem 'odd' or 'inappropriate' to NTs.

What works for me is to shut down all forms of emotional expression when around others.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


sbarne3
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jan 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 127
Location: Texas

08 Dec 2012, 2:59 pm

Agreed... Many of us have what is called "flat affect" which means that outwardly we express little to no emotion. I believe that is what perpetuates the myth that we have no emotion.
For me it feels like I am split into two parts. The "me" inside and the "me" that everyone else sees. While that may be true for everyone (autistic or not) the difference is that it is very hard for me to connect the two together. For example I may be feeling something very deeply, but when I try to verbally tell someone the words either come out jumbled or much too mild.
As to what to do about it... The only advice I can give you is find some medium of expression that works for you... For me it is writing... I can express myself much easier that way. For you it might be music or painting.
I hope that is helpful


_________________
AQ score= 37
Aspie score: 143 of 200
NT Score: 63 of 200
EQ=15 (low) SQ=27 (average)
Alexithymia Quiz=128/185 (high)
Enneagram type: 5 ("The Investigator")


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,729
Location: Houston, Texas

08 Dec 2012, 3:06 pm

I don't know what to say on the sex part (personally, any partner and I would have to be on the same wavelength).

About the emotional aspect, most people on the spectrum have emotions and feelings, we sometimes have difficulty making them known to others.


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


aspiesandra27
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 825
Location: london

08 Dec 2012, 3:19 pm

I feel great emotions; I am passionate, sensitive, and much more. But people tell me I look "remarkably bland and unreadable". Writing is how I best express myself. Not only because I have time to ponder, to think of what it is I feel and desire, but also because it implies i am usually alone, and in silence, where it is easier to concentrate. Expressing myself to someone face-to-face is almost impossible. It doesn't come naturally. As in acting, I have to rehearse again and again, and then, if the other person has an unexpected reaction, it all becomes a huge disaster.