Question For Fellow Aspies: Alone Time in a Relationship

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I screwed up the poll, as you can see - if an admin could fix this, that would be appreciated. c:

My question for you guys is this: Do you need alone time in a relationship, or are you willing to be around the person all the time?

I somewhat discuss this in the following video.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIElsFoMweU[/youtube]

I am very surprised that no one responded to this.

I can say this after having a two-three month thing going on recently, I need my alone time every here and there and without contact on certain days. I find it hard to be myself without the alone time. If I hit a depressive episode, I can't think clearly and may look for a way out and as a result, I am pretty much single again. However, when I develop a comfort level with someone as well, not hearing from them tends to bother me a little. So I think I am the type that wants things on his terms.

and is loosely why im on this site actually. I am different from the normal aspie in the sense that although i started out socially unnaccepted I became popular in high school by accident. So since it was all handed to me, i took it somewhat in stride, although looking back I was still very much the same(no eye contact, low voice and jumbled speaking.) Then it has been dwindled on purpose back to social obscurity(im 22 in December for reference) with the main reason being that most people and "friends" I had were not at an equal level of loyalty or companionship, therefore they became a waste of my short time on earth. I dwindled it to TWO MAIN people, the ONLY two i believed genuinely cared about me for me and not for their own good. I was wrong, and one is a completely fraudulent abuser, and the other is 19 and I can see genuine care to an extent but as she has her own issues, I cannot make any absolution of it. She may even be an aspie herself. Either way i withdrew from everyone including my best friend of years, both mentally and physically and now being around them is painfully boring and awkward. It is only capable of recently being okay with being alone, as in high school i always had someone living with me or staying the night.
Now that i have changed in that way, I fear that i may be hurting myself overall. since the main two i rely on and interact with are largely manipulative, negative, overbearing, controlling, and jealous of each other getting my time(god how that wears me out), they have demanded and "wasted" a couple years of my life now hardly without seeing what I want. where the confusion lies is in there words, which proclaim they do try and that im the problem.I cant decide anything unless im certain so im stuck in this purgatory where i was trying to get away from them for so long, always feeling like time with them was not my time at all(and i didnt get any due to them fighting over my time out of insecurity).
So finally, recently, ive begun shutting down when they become too much, and they say they dont understand, and that I seem heartless, and cold, and like im lying about how i feel when I understand and feel the position they are in a lot i would think. when I do that of course it exacerbates things, and they bombard my phone accusing me of not hurting, or not being sympathetic to them, and flatout say i cant ignore them because its not what people who "love" someone do. Normally I give in until recently where I have so much contempt I can just ignore my phone ringing. I love my alone time, and I wish I had someone I could relate to and be around sometimes, or I know i will want someone around again once i destress. What if I dont though? What if I am in fact the issue? I try my hardest to find solutions and prevent problems, trying every angle imagineable(and i am great at that and reading people usually). Through it all i have been usualy calm, rational, and complacent to being told that my feelings, and reasons to why i dont show them well are just lies, or incorrect.
So here i am, unable to naturally convey most emotions(sympathy), unwilling to fake emotions(because i feel embarrassed), and unable to convey words since they arent taken as truth. I feel like a ghost around them and long decided to keep most thoughts to myself anyways as a result. of course I am not the most physical person, except for when im "ready" to cuddle or hug so it shows them that im just up to my own shenanigans(implying that it makes their abuse okay). when i once left my gf over winter break i felt particularly ghostlike, and had a fleeting moment of solace with another girl(just talking with her, not the physical aspect). she went back to college and my ex came back just to hound me until i took her back. I did because i value her immensely as a whole person, and will accept her in whichever way i need to for her to be happy. she found out, and has used it as grounds for spiteful actions ever since that day 2 years ago. I tried for months prior to explain the isolation with no mending attempted by her once. its still a main theme of our fights to this day.
So i have a myriad of conflicts as both people are constantly denying my reasoning and vocalized feelings, accussing me of heartless things that astound me because they are such ignorant questions for someone who knows me to ask, and ive largely shut them out to without remorse aside from the impending loneliness im soon to face. Currently it seems like a trip to the bahamas.

Didnt answer poll because as stated it needs fixing.

Currently in relationship. Definatly need alone time. Recognising signs of stress and anxiety more since diagnosis. Looking more like i need to live on my own, as triggers are everywhere.

Side note - havent dealt too well with diagnosis as a whole tho - so could be "just found out jitters".

The poll is fixed

Definitely. I always need a lot of alone time. This is a problem now that I live with my boyfriend. With such a small space, it is almost impossible to get real alone time. I find myself taking extra time in the bathroom just to relax. It's a major issue for me in my relationship and I wish I had a clue as to how to resolve it.

I prefer not to have alone time. I've always hated being alone.

I a desperate for some alone time away from my family--so desperate that I'm pondering just taking off for a couple of days and disappearing. If I tell my husband that I want some time to myself, he plans "fun" stuff for me to do with my alone time.

And the poll isn't fixed because of the way the question is phrased.

I think my need for alone time would be reduces if I found that elusive right person. But I still think I would need some alone time every now and then. I'm not sure I would be able to sleep with her every night ( though I hope I would. )

Both my boyfriend and I absolutely need alone time to stay sane. We don't talk every day either...I'd go crazy if I was with someone like that. Every couple of days, we'll send each other texts about our lives to keep each other updated. I've noticed that we are both introverts and don't like to be around people in general for extended periods of time.