Where to meet a girl with Aspergers?

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I'm 20 and am not sure whether I am Aspie or not. I've done the online Aspie quiz and I'm more Aspie than not but my biggest problem is being inept in social situations, and making friends, which makes it really hard for me to meet girls.

I would love to meet a girl with Aspergers who loves and understands me but I don't know where to start. I live in London.

You can start by finding any aspie support groups in the area. Be careful though, many aspie women are tired of over-obsessive aspie men. The support group near my house has a womens-only section just because of the unfortunate gender ratio. As a woman I make a rule of not getting to friendly with the men because they don't understand the difference between platonic friendship and romance. It's gotten a bit annoying and I'm starting to understand the purpose of women-only groups.

If an aspie girl is willing to date you, then go for it, but don't expect it to be easy. Many of them are gay, and many aren't interested in sexual relationships at all.

Or at an anime convention!

There is a London Meets thread running at the minute, planning for a meet sometime in January. Come and join in!

I live in Brazil and I am pretty sure there is not even another human with Asperger's syndrome here.

...Nah, I am overreacting. I know a brazilian Facebook group for people with Asperger's syndrome. But I have no interest in joining it; foreigner forums like WrongPlanet are much better for somebody who is not interested in telling everybody about his suspicions of being on the spectrum.

Although I talked too much, I kind of replied to your question: look for a Facebook group in your area.

Theres already a meetup being organised here http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt188810.html

That said some people dont enjoy that others go there for the mere purpose of finding a partner so treat with caution.

You made me realize I kind of ignored the OP's question: I read it as merely wanting to meet similar people, instead of meeting a potential partner. Even though it is right there in his post. And there is also the fact that this is the Love and Dating forum.

Yeah, maybe I should stop concentrating specifically on the topic's title for a change.

This is a crucial issue. I understand it's annoying for you, but try to think a bit from the aspie guy's perspective. For a lot of these guys, this is the first time a woman was being kind to them, and the first time they felt understood, or accepted by the opposite sex. They're dealing with these feelings for the first time, so of course the lines are going to be blurred.

For the aspie women (especially those who have been in romantic relationships) its easier for them to separate the lines between platonic friendship and romance because they have experience with that. But for a lot of these guys, it's a whole new world of experience and emotions to finally encounter a woman who showed kindness and understanding.


I myself didn't know about these lines until later on in life (I'm in my mid twenties now) and I've had some...awkward...experiences throughout high school and college on account of this. Women in general (NT and aspie) seem to much better at separating out the lines between friendship and romance to an advanced degree, but for men it can be a different story, particularly for inexperienced aspie men who are introduced to that experience with the opposite sex for the first time.

So while it might be annoying for you, it's not like the aspie guys are doing it because they're bad people.

Just try to be unambiguous, but gentle with the guys. "I enjoy your company, but I don't like you in that way. Let's continue to hang out as friends, but if its too painful for you then I understand"

"I enjoy your company, but I don't like you in that way. Let's continue to hang out as friends, but if its too painful for you then I understand"

This is a line I have heard from men. They usually mean no commitment, but panties down in the so called friendship, is just fine and dandy

^ That's called a "friends with benefits" scenario. I don't disagree that there are people out there who are looking for that, but that's a whole separate topic, in my opinion.

It's pretty difficult finding an aspie woman because we are in the minority so don't limit yourself. Meet different women.

Agreed with League_Girl.

To further elaborate, even if you do find the rare Aspie girl, compatibility could still be an issue. You may have more luck finding an NT girl who appreciates your unique interests and talents. Maybe try joining clubs or groups of similar interests? That tends to be how many Aspies find dates, or so I've heard. It must be because your best self will shine when you are doing what you love.