Camouflaging - Ladies assume I am expert (lol)

Post Reply New Topic

Ladies assume I have an extensive relationship/sexual experience (lol).

Maybe male virgins can learn one thing or two from this thread.

I know that many of you already know my....weird unusual case; but here a sum for the newcomers: I have been a dateless guy most of my entire past life until late May 2012 (it all started when I posted a shirtless pic on okcupid lol) , something fundamental has changed (not just the pic). Yes, in reality, I am a 30 yo virgin with zero real-relationship experience and very average-looking (and short- 163 cm).

Mind you, I am still struggling in the dating area and I didn't turn from a clueless virgin to a Don Juan in an overnight. Compared to what I was like, maybe I am little "Don Juan" now and I have no idea how long this would last even but compared to a normal guy, I am just an adult equivalent of a 14 years old teen boy who just entered the dating pool (My avatar was a joke made by mangus rex - it doesn't really reflect me).

One of the funniest things I encountered during my dating quest (and still encountering - just encountered one yesterday) is how the ladies assume I have an extensive dating/love/sexual past experience!! ! Dates, potential dates, past dates, female friends, hell...even the potentials I didn't meet yet and just chat with them online ...they all have this unexplainable very false and untrue assumption about me (unless I tell them). It's crazy, every new date assumes the same.


And I have been using it for my benefit!! I am not promoting lying and tell them "Hey, I had many experience before" or "I have many exes" - nothing of this at all, I just don't comment further about this and leave them assume what they want to assume.

For example (face to face conversations):

Her: "I am all new to this, you surely have far more experience than me.
Me: Well.... (with a slight shrug and slight rolling eyes)
Her: Yea, that's normal, it's ok if you don't want to talk about it.
Me: *changes the subject*

Or

(Another date - one who had an ex for 6 years and 2 other long-term exse)
Her: "You surely had countless of dates"
Me: umm * scratching the back of my head*
Her: Ahhh....I see *with a smirky smile*
Me: *changing subject*

Other questions (mostly online) have more adult nature and wouldn't be appropriate for this section - but I dodged them all the same.

Here I didn't lie - I just dodged the question and left her be at her assumption. If she ever found out the truth later one, I wouldn't be accused as a liar because I SAID NOTHING. When I am asked about my past relationships, I just make it like I don't want to talk about it and they would quickly drop it.


It's a double-edged sword thing and I came to a realization of a one truth (which was an assumption before but lately it all got confirmed with real repetitive interaction): Male virgins aren't highly regarded in general (some said not-so-good things about guys with no experience like me but I didn't react) and the more experienced they think you are the more attracted to you they become - something with a little anxiety in their tone but for your own good.

However, most men often assume I am virgin (which is the truth)...weird.

I'll keep using this camouflaging technique because it's working; maybe the other virgin aspies here should do the same?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 24 Nov 2012, 8:30 am, edited 2 times in total.

OMG, that crap again ...

huh? Again? I didn't know there were tons of clone-threads of this one.

Don't listen to him, Boo. I appreciate this, because in the (very unlikely) case I do end up attracting a girl, I need a way to get past my inexperience without having to lie about it.

I'm unfortunately less good at bullshitting. And nobody assumes I have past experience ever, because I never talk about my girlfriend, nor do I bring up in conversations about what random girls in a store I'd like to fornicate with. In fact, people tend to think I'm gay. That said, losing like 50lbs over the years and gaining 10lbs or so of muscle does tend to put me on a good foot with the ladies. They actually like smile at me and stuff now.

Hey man, if it works to your advantage, fantastic; you're certainly not doing anything wrong I sort of understand why women get so attached to a guy's previous relationship history...I think a lot of the time they're just phishing to see if you're someone who likes to jump from relationship to relationship, which most of us certainly are not. I also wanted to say great job getting out there and actually meeting up with these gals dude, you're bound to find a winner.

You will need it.

Life is full of ugly truths and this is one of them.

Interesting. Correcting them would be more trouble than it's worth, I guess, you can always set them straight in case you get into a relationship anyway.

Also, I demand partial credit on your avatar! I even had to download that font and all

Girls don't care whether or not you are a virgin.
it doesn't bug anyone, it might be a bit of banter with your mates, but condsider this, if nobody slept with virgins then how teh f**k are there so many non virgins?

Really, losing your virginity is one of those hyped up things on tv ect..
american pie would be far more realistic if after losing his virginity jim shouted I WAITED A WHOLE YEAR FOR THAT?

You mention my name, even if it is a typo, and I will know it. Even though I am not posting as much as I used to on Love & Dating, I knew you were talking about me due to my godlike omniscience.

However, your topic fits me. But my situation is pretty much the same as 1000Knives'. The only difference is that due to my "lantern jaw of justice" and baritone voice, nobody ever accused me of being gay.

A recent example: a few days ago, I was talking to three female coworkers during our break. They were talking about sex while I just listened because, frankly, I had nothing to add to that conversation (and I am slowly losing my interest in women anyway). Eventually, one of them asked if I had a girlfriend before (they knew I was single), to which I said no. Another one then asked me if I am a virgin, and I said yes. They immediately assumed it was due to my shyness.

On the following day, they suggested going out with me to find me a girlfriend. Since I am sure they were just talking, I agreed, but quickly changed subject. While I would probably have a better chance if I had "wingwomen" with me, I am not sure if I want a girlfriend anymore. I kind of accepted my semi-voluntary celibacy; my long-term goals would probably be hindered if I had a girlfriend.

Last edited by Magnus_Rex on 22 Nov 2012, 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My longterm goal:

Free wireless electricity or all? Or a Death Ray?

They're not mutually exclusive.

Nice one Boo.

I do think this is the way to for guys that haven't had much experience but are dating - don't lie about it, but you can dodge answering the question all you want or simply not answer, since it isn't any of their business anyway. Also lets them make assumptions without you lying - and creates a bit of mystery and curiousity, both of which will work in your favor.

Although *if* you ended up in a serious LTR with a girl, you could tell her then. She would probably find it really cute and endearing by that point.
The last one who did that to me took me completely by surprise - although he had only a little experience, it didn't come accross that way at all - when I found out it just made him cuter.

I talked about my long-term goal in the Adult Forum once. I will quote it for you:

We actually have the technology for all of that. The only problem will be the money required, as I said. Also, as you can probably see, I would have to spend much time alone if I ever wanted that, which explains why a girlfriend is probably a bad idea for me.

Also, if you want to know why I have this crazy goal, it is because of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Flying though the sky and exploring Skyloft left quite an impression on me. And it will be even better if I listen to this while flying my airship:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRbROTdOgj0[/youtube]

Now I will refrain myself from further derailing this topic.

I don't see the point here.

You don't really tell lies, but you do make women assume something that isn't true.
Is this going to make life easier for you?