Those who are in online LDRs

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2wheels4ever
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28 Dec 2012, 12:47 am

If you meet someone online and know that at some point you're bound to meet in person eventually though there's no rush, do you consider yourself 'in a relationship' and do you feel as if you're in one even if you don't talk every day? Without going so far as to actually use the term "my gf/my bf" do you share something about the person when talking with your regular people you see all the time, like "I know somebody in ____ and they have an interest in XYZ the same as me" or "my friend in ___ thinks the most abominable people on the planet juggle kittens"? And lastly, do you notice more attention from mate material in public due to the "desperate" vibe not being there - do you follow those leads or do you hold out for staying true to your established hope-to-be-conventional relationship? Let's keep the meat market/PUA philosophy out of this, shall we?


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Wolfheart
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28 Dec 2012, 1:23 am

I think it's easier for those of us on the spectrum to transition from someone we have met online to a real life meeting since body language and verbal cues aren't as necessary to us as they are to someone that isn't on the spectrum.

The problem with what you are describing is that people place expectations on a person, they draw an image in their of what the person will be like in person and if you don't match what they imagined in terms of body language, character or attitude, they could be surprised on this unless you have spoken to them via a webcam or microphone.



Stalk
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28 Dec 2012, 4:15 am

For me, meeting them in person, and them asking me if we are in a relationship. Usually answered the question for me (I would say yes if I wanted to see them again). I never asked the question. I never asked because I never knew where we were in terms of relationship, all women seem to be different.

I had a low amount of relationships, so I'm not sure if that counts.



hyperlexian
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28 Dec 2012, 12:23 pm

i was in a LDR with bucephalus (now we live together), and we made a decision early on as to whether we were going to be exclusive. each couple makes their own choice about that - some couples prefer not to stifle their dating lives, and others prefer to have a measure of stability in a very uncertain matrix.

we felt a connection very strongly online, and that did translate to a connection in person. we talked on webcam and so forth, and we did meet in person for a week last summer.

i referred to him as "Chris, the guy i am dating online" or some other awkward phrase, if i recall correctly.


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