Discussing AS with girlfriend's parents

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DevilInPgh
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29 Dec 2012, 3:24 pm

I've been in a long-term (albeit long-distance) relationship with my girlfriend, and I finally got to meet her parents in the past week. I know that they really like me, but my girlfriend and I are starting to talk more seriously, meaning how is AS going to affect her as well. She told me her parents have asked about behavioral things and the risk of passing it on to our children. I have said that externally-directed violence is not connected in any way to AS, but I also know that as much as I can mitigate a meltdown, self-direct as much as possible, and hide from view (which I haven't had in 6 months, when I finally gave myself a boxer's fracture and probably scared myself forever from letting myself get to that point again), I can never plan it. This is important, because her sister was previously married to a man who was extremely abusive and violent, owned a gun, and (in a coup de grace) stole her car and slashed her tires in the final break. How do I explain such things? And also, how do I communicate that although the risk for inheritance of AS, let alone lower-functioning autism, is higher, it's not much more than the risk of two NTs (such as my parents) having children with AS? (Then again, my brother is also AS, and my sister is bipolar, so the worries of genetics may be warranted.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not the type of person who wants to tell people to just read a book.



answeraspergers
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29 Dec 2012, 8:54 pm

I dont think you need to worry about the genetic risks of passing it on. Genetics alone are not the whole picture because of epigenetics.

Many of the main factors are environmental and can be influenced and in the future I really do see logical analysis taking more influence over emotional functioning for people in general.

Are they making a distinction between AS and ASD? Because the above is really based on what I know of AS not autism proper

Why worry about having a smart kid? Most people want that.

Sounds a bit like meet the parents. Just because her sister dated a male who was a jerk does mean transfer that to you. they are just overly worried uninformed judgmental parents. but dont tell them that

Self-directed anger - or punching yourself in the face is no way to deal with anger issues



nick007
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31 Dec 2012, 6:26 am

DevilInPgh wrote:
She told me her parents have asked about behavioral things and the risk of passing it on to our children.

Unless you & your girlfriend are serious together & are really wanting to have kids; I would suggest looking into birth-control before having sex or anymore & you guys can tell the parents that you're playing it safe so having kids won't be an issue rite now.


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