Just an NT girl wondering...

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I have dated an NT.
Yes 67%  67%  [ 12 ]
No 33%  33%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 18

meganruth2747
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05 Mar 2013, 11:59 pm

I am an NT but I have dealt with my fair share of austism. My little sister has autism although at times she can be a little bit annoying, as are all sisters, I find that I can bond with her exceptionally well. I have learned how to communicate with her in different ways so she can understand. I feel as though I could be an understanding girlfriend, and that I would try my best to help you and make you more comfortable in a potentially uncomfortable situation. So I was wondering do Aspie or Autie guys tend to date NT girls or girls who the same as them, in that aspect? If you haven't dated an NT would you like to and if so what is stopping you? And what could a girl do to make it easier for you to express interest in dating her?



naturalplastic
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06 Mar 2013, 12:19 am

With aspie guys- dating anyone at all- is a big deal. We're the real life '40 year old virgin' types.

But if you do date then NT's are more common as potential dating partners ( like 98 plus percent of the population). Aspie women are even more rare than aspie men. For that reason an aspie guy is more likely to date nt women than aspie women.

So there are more variables than just the characteristics of the person themselves.

If the supply of ladies were equal which would I prefer?
An aspie girl? Or an Nt ?

Speaking for myself I would say -both.
Both kinds interest me.



mikibacsi1124
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06 Mar 2013, 2:02 am

Speaking for myself, I've only dated one aspie (and she wasn't diagnosed until a while after we broke up). Another one of my girlfriends had ADHD. The rest weren't diagnosed with anything AFAIK, and I don't think they were aspies, but they didn't exactly seem NT either. Really though, I'm open to dating anyone I feel a connection with, regardless of what they are or aren't.

As far as making it easier for aspies, I know many of them are different from me and so I can't speak for all of them, plus considering our age differences, I don't know how valid my advice would be for you. But all I can say is that if you're interested, show it. This doesn't mean that you should immediately start breaking out the "I love yous" and acting like you're married, but you should generally make it very clear that you enjoy one's company and would like to get to know them more. Smile a lot, and a little physical affection definitely wouldn't hurt at east in my case (though I know some aspies are sensitive to touch). No mind games, no "chasing", no "playing hard to get", no "don't talk for X amount of days" rules. Just be very easygoing, open, and affectionate, without going into clingy smothering territory.



naturalplastic
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06 Mar 2013, 8:11 am

mikibacsi1124 wrote:
Speaking for myself, I've only dated one aspie (and she wasn't diagnosed until a while after we broke up). Another one of my girlfriends had ADHD. The rest weren't diagnosed with anything AFAIK, and I don't think they were aspies, but they didn't exactly seem NT either. Really though, I'm open to dating anyone I feel a connection with, regardless of what they are or aren't.

As far as making it easier for aspies, I know many of them are different from me and so I can't speak for all of them, plus considering our age differences, I don't know how valid my advice would be for you. But all I can say is that if you're interested, show it. This doesn't mean that you should immediately start breaking out the "I love yous" and acting like you're married, but you should generally make it very clear that you enjoy one's company and would like to get to know them more. Smile a lot, and a little physical affection definitely wouldn't hurt at east in my case (though I know some aspies are sensitive to touch). No mind games, no "chasing", no "playing hard to get", no "don't talk for X amount of days" rules. Just be very easygoing, open, and affectionate, without going into clingy smothering territory.


good advice.

Aspies dont read social cues well so we're probably not going to pick on your attraction to us the way nt guy would.

Be friendly the way you might with another girl with similiar interests and hobbies. And then we will see you as a friend - and then -notice that you're a girl too!



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06 Mar 2013, 8:11 am

I've dated "NT's" before, but I don't treat them like exotic creatures - just normal regular people like me.

I'd be willing to date an Aspie, but I'd generally much rather prefer to date someone who doesnt have Aspergers, or at least has a very mild case of it.



Tyri0n
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06 Mar 2013, 8:33 am

I'd prefer NT or someone with invisible Asperger's. I'm a bit self-interested in improving my own social skills and having someone I can ask about things. I'm also not a geek/nerd nor a fan of geeks/nerds, to be honest, so that limits my dating options among aspies.

The important thing is to be direct. Even if I can pick up on subtle, I'm likely to be too anxious to trust myself unless the interest is very obvious. Also, playing hard to get won't work. I tend to operate very simply such that "no means no." So if you act uninterested, I am going to stay on the safe side and just assume you are.

I do say that, for those with milder cases of AS, dating aspie is hard because it's hard to control yourself from being too mean and critical from someone who is lower-functioning. So it's better to date NT's or those who are even milder.



Last edited by Tyri0n on 06 Mar 2013, 8:41 am, edited 3 times in total.

minervx
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06 Mar 2013, 8:35 am

yeah, i want someone thats going to inspire me to continue improving socially and not slide me back.

dating an aspie is alright, as long as she doesnt take it as an identity.



aspiemike
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06 Mar 2013, 8:58 am

minervx wrote:
yeah, i want someone thats going to inspire me to continue improving socially and not slide me back.

dating an aspie is alright, as long as she doesnt take it as an identity.


Maybe you'd recommend self-help books to the type if you came across them lol



Kinme
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06 Mar 2013, 6:49 pm

I can't really speak for guys, but I would much rather date someone on the spectrum. I feel that they would have an easier time understanding me and I'd have to do much less explaining than I would with a guy that was NT. *Shrug*