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Keniichi
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25 Feb 2013, 10:32 pm

Alright Ive found a fellow friend who likes me back.Except he talks too much about banging other women, breasts, etc. (Hes on the spectrum as well). This makes me so mad! He knows it makes me mad, yet he continues to do this, why? I know distance/faith is part of it but still.. (Hes back East, Im in the States, Hes Muslim, Im Christian). He complains he cant get a girl friend (even when he "dropped" his Muslim heritage and was over here in the States), he thinks Im really pretty and hes overprotective! Grrr, why does he do these things? :evil:


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Last edited by Keniichi on 25 Feb 2013, 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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25 Feb 2013, 10:44 pm

"baning" other women? is that a typo?
It doesn't sound like a relationship with this guy would be healthy. His behavior indicates that he's not ready to give women the respect a relationship needs. You're probably better off as friends. And you might need to be more direct when he's making you mad. If it's not getting through to him, cut the conversation. He'll catch on.


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Keniichi
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25 Feb 2013, 11:50 pm

Browncoat wrote:
"baning" other women? is that a typo?
It doesn't sound like a relationship with this guy would be healthy. His behavior indicates that he's not ready to give women the respect a relationship needs. You're probably better off as friends. And you might need to be more direct when he's making you mad. If it's not getting through to him, cut the conversation. He'll catch on.

it was a typo. Thanks for informing me about it :) (I edited "baning to banging")


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25 Feb 2013, 11:58 pm

Keniichi wrote:
He knows it makes me mad, yet he continues to do this, why? [...] He complains he cant get a girl friend


Well this would probably explain why he can't get a girlfriend. Why would you want to even talk to someone who does that to you?


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heatherbk
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26 Feb 2013, 12:56 am

Don't put up with a guy like that. If he really likes you, he would respect you



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Feb 2013, 1:36 am

He sees you as one of the guyfriends.



Stalk
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26 Feb 2013, 5:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He sees you as one of the guyfriends.

This is almost similar to the boob thread.

I saw something similar happening at work, where the one woman was raving about the guy at work about how he doesn't see race and then he showed her some music videos, of which one was pretty much racist. Then she asked him if he forgot if she is of a different race... Maybe women in general prefer men to lie to them or rather that they do not know at all. Funny how life works.



moisha
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26 Feb 2013, 11:35 am

Stalk wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
He sees you as one of the guyfriends.

This is almost similar to the boob thread.

I saw something similar happening at work, where the one woman was raving about the guy at work about how he doesn't see race and then he showed her some music videos, of which one was pretty much racist. Then she asked him if he forgot if she is of a different race... Maybe women in general prefer men to lie to them or rather that they do not know at all. Funny how life works.


women have double standards, too. and they allow men to lie to them as they get their own little pay-off. of course, what's evenmore fascinating than women allowing men to lie to them, is lying to themselves about these men. lol



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26 Feb 2013, 11:50 am

Keniichi wrote:
Alright Ive found a fellow friend who likes me back.Except he talks too much about banging other women, breasts, etc. (Hes on the spectrum as well). This makes me so mad! He knows it makes me mad, yet he continues to do this, why? I know distance/faith is part of it but still.. (Hes back East, Im in the States, Hes Muslim, Im Christian). He complains he cant get a girl friend (even when he "dropped" his Muslim heritage and was over here in the States), he thinks Im really pretty and hes overprotective! Grrr, why does he do these things? :evil:

if he likes you, there is no reason to talk about other women like that. some people do it to play games and make others jealous, and some people do it because they are unaware it could be hurtful. he will not know how you feel unless you tell him. if you do decide to date him, i would suggest that you should make your feelings about that stuff very clear.


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kouzoku
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26 Feb 2013, 11:54 am

I second that you should make your feelings doubly clear to him. If he can't respect them, then he is not friend material. Even if he sees you as a guyfriend, he should still respect your feelings once you've made them clear.



Keniichi
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26 Feb 2013, 6:01 pm

kouzoku wrote:
I second that you should make your feelings doubly clear to him. If he can't respect them, then he is not friend material. Even if he sees you as a guyfriend, he should still respect your feelings once you've made them clear.

Hes known for being immature, clueless and blunt*. I guess that, MIGHT be because hes somewhat "lower functioning". He however can be very sweet, funny, smart etc**. One on one hes very different**, but around others hes*. Others have verified this. I guess I got to call him and tell him to stop and state my feelings obviously. (He likely doesnt get the "ahem, change of topic")?


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26 Feb 2013, 8:10 pm

It sounds like an immature and warped way of telling you he is virile and attractive to women, therefore a good catch.
A bit like a little bantam rooster showing off.
Overprotective and jealous is usually a warning sign before you even begin.
He sounds rather high maintenance. Why bother?



Keniichi
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28 Feb 2013, 11:51 pm

Keni wrote:
It sounds like an immature and warped way of telling you he is virile and attractive to women, therefore a good catch.
A bit like a little bantam rooster showing off.
Overprotective and jealous is usually a warning sign before you even begin.
He sounds rather high maintenance. Why bother?

because hes also my friend. Overprotective in the fact that if someone makes a move on me and I dont like it, hes the first to tell them to back off or else.


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01 Mar 2013, 12:37 am

He could just be childish. I wouldn't see it as a deal breaker. I have had a guy who was pretty much the same, and it was all hot air. If I had made a big deal out of it, I am sure it would have continued, but because I either ignored it, or took the mickey out of him, he just realised it wasn't going to be a topic of conversation for me, or anything that would remotely engage me.



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01 Mar 2013, 2:24 am

aspiesandra27 wrote:
He could just be childish. I wouldn't see it as a deal breaker. I have had a guy who was pretty much the same, and it was all hot air. If I had made a big deal out of it, I am sure it would have continued, but because I either ignored it, or took the mickey out of him, he just realised it wasn't going to be a topic of conversation for me, or anything that would remotely engage me.


yeah but the difference is that she is into this guy, right?



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01 Mar 2013, 4:31 am

I guess so, Stalk. It's difficult trying to determine why he does these things, it might even be nerves, or just his low functioning...without knowing more details, it's just speculation.

Me, being me, I would just ask him directly why he talks about women's boobs to me, and banging them, if that was persistent behaviour. But I am *very* direct when I don't understand something, so the OP might choose another stance.