Do Nice Guys Finish Last?

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It's a poll, also comment if you like.

I disagree, I think this isn't a poll.

It is a poll, I don't understand

Depends: if guys are simply nice, I think they will meet nice people. However, if they are nice but don't see the signs that they are being used and don't learn from it, they could finish last. So I guess it's good to be nice but careful at the same time.

Let me just say this: If you are a nice guy but have a good personality, good attitude, are ambitious, and know how to treat a woman you will certainly not finish last.

However if you're idea of being "nice" is try to be her friend as an alterior motive for getting in her pants, and she doesn't like you anyways because you have a negative attitude, a repugnant personality, and she picks up on your passive-aggressiveness then you will certainly finish last if at all.


Work on yourself dude so you can learn to love yourself. If you love yourself your confidence will improve and women will pick up on this.

I voted half and half. I say this because the a**holes seem to make themselves more noticeable as they tend to be louder/more confident/more experienced. This makes women think 'wow' (or whatever) and so they go for them.

However, some of us women get wise to this act (such as myself, yes I have dated an a**hole in the past) and tend to go for guys based on personality as opposed to blagging their way in. I tend to now go for a genuine bloke as opposed to one that acts like a peacock competing to see who has the largest feathers. I am with an amazing guy now who isn't an a**hole, he is incredibly thoughtful and loving.

To me they finish first.

I'd vote that nice guys/nice women tend to finish last but most do finish. Its an age maturity related thing and in teens and 20's nice really doesn't work, its status and performance (so if your nice AND are a star athlete or have a lot of money/nice clothes or quick comebacks sure - otherwise its more of a problem than an aid). The trouble for women is that they can fall into a lot of traps a lot faster than the guys can, especially ending up with abusive husbands and sometimes even getting stuck in that pattern. Guys, trust me, even if you don't like being single you could have it far worse very easily and think that the psychos, gold-diggers, users, and abusers are doing you a hell of a favor.

I think "nice" guys finish last, "kind" guys do not (they are also a lot more 'confident' looking then "nice" guys).

I believe "nice" can be too easily 'faked.' Witnessed it over and over and over, well, everyday, pretty much.

This is such a dumb poll... it's not that "nice guys" finish last, it's that "nice guys" are needy, non-assertive p*****s who can't stand up for themselves, they use this to justify how boring they are, and their lack of social skills.

If by 'nice guy' you mean the closet misogynists who try and convince women to like them through buying their affection- with cliche crap like teddy bears, giant hearts filled with chocolate, roses, that sort of thing- and then later complain that they were rejected (repeatedly, but from the same person) because women only want men who 'treat them like crap'.... then sure, the nice guy will finish last. They deserve to.

Do you guys ask yourself where it comes from to begin with though? I ask because I really can't figure on even the nice guys who are legitimately just what you said being that way from square one - something happened to them and likely kept happening to them to get the ball rolling. That I think at least lends some truth that there's a dimension of reality to it aside from them being spineless puffs, this, that, and the other thing. What you guys are saying I've heard before and thought before but its not the explanation, its just the distance and remove mantra.

There is a reality to it... I will write a post about about it because I used to be "the niceguy" (note: That means the clueless guy).

Nice guy is a euphamism for "clueless", both socially and more... i.e. in terms of style, etc, social skills.

True, I think part of that is also not knowing how to secure equilibrium or not having a good sense of it - ie. giving a girl a shot or a neg if she says something like "your so nice" or "your so sweet", not bitterly - I mean good-naturedly playing it off with something arrogant and dialing up tension. Its also about treating really attractive girls like your kinda ambivalent to their looks like "that's great but what do you have in your head, your character, your pool of talents that *I* would want to date you?", I think for me I've had good luck in securing that capability just because - as an aspie any kind of person with narrow compatability you need to know who they are first before you can even start getting excited over any element. I think its really about give and take, knowing to set your boundaries to where you don't do too much for her and assert yourself as such that she realizes she has to respect you because you don't absolutely need her.

I think the trouble for most nice guys is they want things to glide smooth, they're hoping things will be straight-foreward and like will meet like, and the problem is that the game itself is completely counterintuitive. I can't hate em because like me in my past, their parents and social supports largely did it to em and by the time you've had it engrained in your head for too long that being a good person is all that matters and it will get you everything you need - it strikes a visceral nerve to do the opposite which is an obstacle that can take years to chip away.

Now, I think there are a lot of very legitimate 'nice guys' out there who aren't the trolls so many people describe - they're literally what they are and things don't work out because they're literally what they are. If your kind or sensitive as a guy its ok if you know how to play it off, hide it, disguise it, and prove to the world that you mean business and that you will throw down. If your like that all the way through though its not really expected unless you literally are Christopher Robin inside and out, pretty much that pretty little christian kid who wears Dockers and the alligator shirts (grrr....the guy who my parents tried to make of me) who will probably have no trouble meeting that cute little innocent church girl, usually a real pale blonde or redhead where you can just see that they've been raised in a bubble very successfully - anywhere inbetween though is kinda no-man's land and since guys kinda throw up in their mouths a little at the thought of being the later but want to be good people with just enough edge it ends up that this no-man's land between pretty wuss and tough guy is an easy trap I think to fall into and where guys pretty much rot in their mediocrity. In fact the guys I know who personally stayed single the longest were semi-shy NT's who maybe did up the thug look on the outside, did the partying, did the drugs, but were nicer than they appeared - and the sad thing is you can't accuse them of being wannabes or wearing a put on because it was them being who they were happy with being it just so happened that in-betweeners have crap for luck.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 31 Jan 2007, 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In the past they didn't really finish first or last, now they come first.

I do not think I am really a nice guy inside, I dunno. I've worked myself in being more understanding of people in recent years. Even still I sometimes I feel I got to give me one of my lectures on why they should change their ways or their lives aren't going to improve or even get worse.

I know I can be arrogant and very judgmental (for good reasons). I have high standards of myself and others, I have aimed myself for many years to be a hard working, sane, grounded to reality, honest, thrifty, law obeying citizen, seeing as my ticket to a better life and if I ever have children I be a role model they can look up to, which I never had growing up. I get angry and frustrated when people aren't doing the things I am doing and doing better than me. Hell I even get frustrated when I violate my own rules.

I guess all up I am pretty respectful and polite towards people a lot of the time. I really need on working not being two faced which I am a fair bit, telling people what they should hear rather than just keeping quiet and standing up for myself much more.

If I know if I had been NT I would not be a particularly nice guy.