Fell Hard for an Aspie, pt 2

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I got a lot of flames re: a post I made about a month ago, & again I'm sorry if I offended anyone here. To recap: I became very fond of a guy whom I suspected of being in the Autism spectrum. (People spoke very slowly, explained simple jokes, esp puns to death when they spoke to him etc.) I had no idea why. I simply spoke to him as I would speak to anyone else & I think that's why we initially got along well.)

Many of the people here responded that what happened to me was Not likely in the Asp./Autism spectrum of reactions from The Guy himself. (More like Sociopath behavior) "Mike" did speak to me off the forum & said that he thought that other people ( none Aspies) were getting involved. (stalking, tracking, snooping, cyberhacking, etc.)

I'm pretty sure that AspieMike was 100% correct. I doubt that most of the more malicious stuff was The Guy's idea. I do think that the friends & maybe family may have had a lot to do with it. They felt the need to not just 'check me out' but pretty much eviscerate me in the process of deciding if their friend's/adult son's choices were valid in women friends.

Has anyone here here had friends/family get over protective to a ridiculous, intrusive point in their social life?

Some where along this time line someone did a background check on me via a U.S. based data mining co. (Financial, criminal record etc.) I found this to be devastating! I have no money to speak of & no criminal record either, but the idea of someone perhaps going to these lengths in what was probably just the beginning of a friendship was appalling! I cannot prove that his was done by "His People" but have no idea why it happened at all. I don't drink, do drugs, or hang around sketchy people. (Pretty sure he does all 3.)

' The Guy' is I believe in his 40's, has a job, has a car, his own place, & seems to function well, @ least within the parameters of his job, which is where i met him.
I am reasonable sure that my post was read by 'somebody' locally. Considering the rotten stuff that happened to me, maybe someone from the local Autism Society had a talk with him-? I don't know if the current repercussions (swearing & rude gestures) from a jerk in a vehicle that always follows behind his. Is someone angry about getting called on bad behavior? I can't 'blame Him" cuz he clearly isn't doing anything.. Just his 'tail gunner'.

I had not seen him literally for over 5 months, but right after I posted here asking how I should try to talk to him about all this awful stuff that had happened...How & If it was connected to Him -There he was right out in front of his building. Someone seemed to have my work times down pat, so it was pretty easy to know when I would pass by.
He was not alone however. A relative had their car pulled in front of him & stood beside him in a protective way, & his brother's car was parked in the plaza lot across the street.
I am really not clear Why they see me as a threat to him, He is a foot taller & outweighs me by over 100 pounds. Guilty consciences maybe? They think I ought to be that angry? I am , but I'm not one to vent in a violent way. I just hope i never see any of these people including The Guy again-ever!
I kind'a think that He had really talked about me to them. He really did like me, & they were looking to have Him in move in with me, or perhaps just to keep him out of trouble-? I don't know, but at least this might provide some explanation of why I was put under the microscope like this. (Maybe that's just how they get their 'kicks'? Ripping people apart & calling it research?)

Problem is Nobody talked to me at all! We were barely even friends @ this point! I was an after thought. A pawn. A Sure thing. (I'd have to know someone for a very long time before I'd even consider co-habitation.) I am too old for him, even though he didn't seem to think so @ the time, & too old to want to be interested in keeping another adult out of trouble.

I mentioned here about having his Sister & Mother ambush me in his place of work. (as far as I know he wasn't there when I went into the store. ) Did they want to talk to me or tell me to 'back off'? I already had backed off months ago, after he told me he was involved with a G.F.. (Also wasn't told that he had broken up with her some time before. I did hear that I was a 'ball buster' since I didn't check in with him every 5 minutes to re check his status. I guess i was supposed to be clairvoyant, as well as desperate?)
I don't know if anyone here has ever been dissected by over protective friends/family, or had well meaning people interfere in your social life because they didn't trust you to choose friends well?

I'd Run if I ever saw any of these self centered lunatics again! This is the Most revolting experience I've ever had with anyone! This was a None-Relationship & it presented more insane problems than an actual long term relationship. They parleyed their interest in the welfare of their friend/family member into a witch hunt, snoop-a-thon, totally uncalled for intrusion into someone else's life! They brought my family, & in laws under their scrutiny too!

Please assume that "FELL" in the header is read as in the Perfect Past Tense. This was over & Done With Long Ago! I wish to tell this jerk & his nosy friends that my life is my own, always was, & always will be! No need to check who is parked in my driveway. This is not Aspie behavior, this is CRAZY!! Seek Help!

Everyone's entitled to there own opinion, so I'm not offended in the slightest.

However, you can't paint all all of us with the same picture.

One Aspie, while showing similar traits, will never be 100% the same.

All the the Aspie mates I have, would never do what "The Guy" did.

For me, regardless of if he had Aspies or not, he just seems like a total psychopath, and distancing yourself from him, and his family was the right thing to do, and I certainly hope you don't cross paths with them again.

While these other guys were clearly acting in a malicious manner, it still obviously started with "the guy"

Scenario likely played out with him saying something to someone... If not everybody. Then everything played out from there. He likely didn't ask these friends and family to do any of this. They just did it on their own. But he started it with the use of his mouth.

Interesting that you thought I was right. I just had a hunch was all. But thank you for the comment. I will ask that next time you keep the conversation we had private.

I'm very sorry for not keeping that in confidence.

I would Never ascribe any of this behavior to Aspie spectrum people. IMHO, The Guy has a lot of other problems going on that need attention. (but will never likely get professional attention, since people around him are too busy doing quick & tidy 'cover ups' for him & probably have been for a long time.) You don't get this good @ being creepy & covering your tracks in one go. You don't get to try it over & over without some enablers & excusers.

He Can't talk to me? He certainly could until I proved to be not as controllable, or easy to manipulate as he perhaps thought. The moment he realized that I was not going to fool around behind his G.F.'s back, & get into a contest for his affection, That was when the conversation stopped. (But it didn't stop him from assigning blame for his break up to me. Who knows? Maybe she got tired of being used & threw him out? I doubt that he would admit that she dumped him.) I was also no longer available to provide housing, now that he was 'homeless'. This may have been the reason for the cat calling from his buddies. If I got bullied into seeking him out, maybe I could be guilted into taking him in?

Is it just narcissism or shyness that put the pressure on me to always go to see him? This made the situation a lot more controllable for him, & no doubt fed his ego. I lived 35 seconds from the workplace, & he knew where i lived. Maybe He was 'Just Not that interested? Fine with me. So, why keep bothering me?

(Also If he has had legal problems in this area before, he could say that, "She was the pursuer. I had nothing to do with this.")
The fact that he wouldn't speak to me one to one, without a group of friendly witnesses @ the ready also makes me wonder if he has had 'problems' before or if he is a physical threat.

Yes the talk starts with him, & I'm sure he's had a long history of 'stirring it up' & getting revenge, or getting his own way with a few pounds of gossip, or lies, carefully placed in front of the gullible, & bored. He knows who he can manipulate. Once he knows you are not a puppet, he has no longer any interest.
"His "Tail Gunner" worked in the same area as he did @ the local store. T.G. grabbed my left wrist when I was picking up my change one day & wouldn't let go.

Probably this post above seems all very bitter & not very understanding. Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet...
Maybe if I had ever been able to ask this guy what was going on & why, & who... perhaps I might have had some kind of understand of it & he might have understood why he needed to stop it. Well, that didn't happen, cuz he needs a committee to be face to face with me.
I'd like to tell you what happened, the last time I saw him, after I posted here, & asked for a meeting with him with some explanations from him, & assurances that the craziness, tracking, cyber hacking etc, would stop since there was never a reason for it to happen in the 1st place.
I saw him standing outside his building...which Never happens. (not sure how he gets his groceries etc.) There is a small white car in front of him that belongs to a relative, & across the road, in the plaza lot right next to the street is his brother's car. So he looks like some tinpot dictator trying to escape the insurgents with a security detail.
I have seen his 'new look before'. He has his beard & hair cut just like his Father's. He is wearing a baby blue short coat, an ear lug hat, & rust loose fitting trousers that make his legs look like 2 Sequoias. (he is a big guy.) It looks like his Mom has dressed him for grade 2. I drive on, not feeling like I want to deal with his family yet again, & sure i would get no actual answers with them there.

The white car follows me, & is beside me on my right side for quite a distance & then exits @ the hwy..

At this point, I start to cry..but not for any of the reasons you might think. (& I hope white car driver didn't see that!)
I have cried a lot lately. I was given a not good medical diagnosis. That's one reason.
I had to put my Mother into a nursing home this year. I had promised her that I never would, but the amount of care needed for her broke me mentally & physically. This probably was the reason that I have Lupus now. Complete exhaustion over a period of years.. She didn't sleep @ night for 3 straight months. They were supposed to have a place for her in a nursing home after the first 2 months, but it ended up being dragged out to over 3 months.
I asked The Guy his status @ the end of the 2nd. month ( with no sleep). I guess i thought I had waited for over a year to be able to ask him out, & Normal Life was on the horizon. This was not to be. After getting his 'offer', I had another month of no sleep & 24/7 care to live through with my Mom. At the end of that month (August), I had lost 30 pounds, had seizures that made me shake uncontrollably for hours, couldn't sleep at all, couldn't control my body temperature, & I cried hysterically @ the drop of a hat. I had completely Lost It! I didn't think I was suitable 'dating material' @ that point. I think this is when The Guy must have broken up with GF, & decided that I had 'jilted him', cuz I didn't run after him.
By late October, I can't run or walk. My hands are so painful & swollen, they can't close & I can't drive the car for several days. My knees, feet, @ ankles won't bend either. I finally get some Prednisone & Tylenol 3's. The swelling finally goes down & I'm pain free.

I make one attempt to contact him to stop the tracking. He won't come out of his building, but word get's out that "somebody beat me up". Actually nobody beat me up. I had to wear braces on my hands & wrists to be able to drive. Lupus. I did try a 2nd. time, but got tracked from my own driveway to work by his Sister & her friend! !It's Good that family's uphold their brother's right to be a creeper!

So after being cyber hacked, private emails read, followed around town-still!, & having my drive way monitored... I'm looking @ The Guy, with his family posse, he is looking like a giant Charlie Brown & I'm thinking as i start to cry -
WTF is wrong with you!! You used to be a good judge of character. You are smart & independent. How in the Hell did you ever think this person was so Wonderful?! He wouldn't drive 100 feet to see you, but, he would like to own your life. He wanted to make a slut out of you. And now I have to deal with people, & I have no trust left, in them or my own judgement. If I ever want to live that Normal Life that I dreamed about I have to take some chances, & I don't know that I will have that kind of bravery for a Long Long time.

Late night, December 28/29 some male person stopped @ the end of my driveway & did a horror movie laugh. WOW! Am I supposed to be impressed by your 'Macho Bravado'? Skulking around in the dark making stupid noises?

At this point I'd like to thank my Mom for having dementia, being wheelchair bound, being profoundly deaf, & incontinent. Without her, & a total lack of interest from our Social Services in her welfare or my family's, I'd be a well person. I'd also like to thank long term physical & mental exhaustion for giving me Lupus, & I'd like to thank Lupus for keeping me away from That Guy. Lupus will probably eventually kill me, unless they find a cure, but @ least I will never find myself perpetually apologizing for imagined slights, denying imagined infidelities, dealing with his real ones, walking on egg shells to keep his family & friends appeased, & dealing with his huge looming ominous presence.

Continuing a locked topic is against the rules as you may read here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt73835.html
* Reposting a locked or deleted posts or threads is against the rules.

Not sure why it was locked originally. Will look into it

Edit:
Looked into it:
Can you please provide tallyman(who locked the first thread) a valid reason for keeping this one?. Your previous thread was going nowhere fast