Comment that was made to me!

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Try not to be harsh in your responses to my question.


I was on a forum once I was ranting about how my height makes me feel insecure around women (I am 5ft7 and sometimes women like men who are taller).


One poster responded to me saying "height really does not matter as much as you think it does to girls" and he continued "I would suggest that you join a gym because anybody can turn into a 'looker' if they workout."

What might he be saying about my looks when he commented "anybody can turn into a 'looker' if they workout"?

I think he just meant that you should compensate for your height by getting more muscles. And not only for what girls think but also for your own self confidence, lack of confidence and being sensitive ("try not to be harsh") is not attractive in a man as far as I know.

Have you posted pictures of yourself on this forum?

I am 5ft8 or written in a system that makes sense 173cm, average male height in my country is about 180 and at online dating sites many girl states this height as a minimum for a partner.
But my height is not what make girls dislike me in general.

I did post a pic once and some comments were "yeah not bad" and "I would do you"..... That was comment was made by a guy though which is a bit creepy.


Ps more muscles can make you look shorter

I disagree completely.

You know what makes you look shorter? Being short.


You know what makes you look taller? Being confident, walking proudly with good posture, being friendly and charismatic, being good looking and fit.

Why do those things make one look taller? Because people are so busy paying attention to one of those other things that they don't have much time to process in their brains, "Hey.. Hey that dude is super short!" Not saying everyone will be distracted like this but the majority.

Women like men that they like, regardless of height... I am on the opposite end of the spectrum... I am 6'9" and my stature and intensity tend to be frightening to NT women

I agree with MadeUnderground. And that just means that if you are someone with all those qualities, people will indeed have less time to process thoughts about your height.

Although to be fair, for me that is a big deal. I would pick up on that immediately, no matter how many other positives you had.

Words of wisdom indeed.

Jamesy, if a woman doesn't want to go out with you because of your height, then she is pretty shallow, and I would suggest not worth worrying about.

90% of actors are ridiculously short. Muscles make all the difference. (and money, but whatever)

Speaking as a woman, it's not the muscles, it's the self confidence that goes with someone who knows they look good (without being arrogant about it).

Having said that, I have met some guys who weren't good looking, but had a glint in their eyes that made them seriously hot anyway.

You shouldn't be getting hung up on height, any decent girl is looking for a person that appeals to her mentally, not a specific height requirement.

Nope...

I used to weight 260 lbs in 2008.
Now I'm 175 and trying to gain muscle.
I lost the weight slow, it took a few years, but once your body gets in the whole "healthy motion" it becomes easier. Only a few stretchmarks near my upper thighs.

I am 5' 7." Most women are at or under my height anyway.

If women seriously think like this, I do not want to be on Earth anymore. (Mars would be better)

Yeah, same here. I was 250 at my worst, and now I'm at 180 (6'4). Stretchmarks on my sides, which suck, but smelling like Coco Butter isn't much better. Building muscle is pretty difficult, and maintaining it is harder. I got some definition and vascularity in my arms after several months of resistance/weight training, got depressed for awhile and stopped, and it's all gone. I'm starting in on it again soon. Wish I could find a cheap personal trainer to at least throw some advice my way, though. My upper body strength has always been terrible.

Can I ask why that comment bothered you? It seemed innocuous to me. I thought she was saying that a guy might think he's not good looking enough, but can have a look in his eye when he's attracted to a woman that makes any physical traits insignificant. Why is that offensive?

I've heard it said that there's nothing more attractive than looking into they eyes of someone who loves you.

^^ Yes, that's exactly what I meant. It was supposed to be encouraging. As in, some guys are not what you would think of as good looking, but are still very attractive anyway. I think the main point is that women are all different, and we all like different things, so just hang in there.

This comment is not bothering, nor offensive. Its just a really skewed version of reality. The outside does count. (then again, this is all my opinion)

^ I repeat my comment. Some girls do NOT judge on looks. If the personality is attractive, that beats a good looking guy who is shallow, self absorbed or arrogant. Or maybe I am just weird.