It keeps amazing me how fast and easily some find love...

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Cafeaulait
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23 Jan 2014, 8:57 am

I see couples all around me. My cousins all have partners. My study class consists out of 12 people, 9 of which are in a relationship. They all say they are madly in love and they look very in love when I seem them with their partners.

To me it remains a mystery how relationships develop so naturally and easily among most, and many people seem to be in one. In order for relationships to develop:
-Person A must like person B
-Person B must like person A
-Person A must find person B attractive in a physical or romantic sense
-Person B must find person A attractive in a physical or romantic sense
-There has to be a mutual 'spark'.
-Circumstances have to be favourable

When I analyze things this way, it just amazes me to see that so many people of my age (or perhaps, in general) fall in love with each other and are in relationships.
Everything basically has to be mutual.
There were some times a guy liked me and found me attractive, but I just thought of him as 'nice'. There was no spark. Then there were sometimes I really liked a guy and would love to have a relationship, but he didn't show explicit interest in me. But it was never really mutual, where a guy and I went tingly for eachother.

So when I see people around my age, having been in several relationships, I think: how did that happen? How was this person so lucky to develop feelings for the other person, and the other person had this seem feelings towards him/her. It seems to go so easily and naturally for some.


I just had to get this out of my system :D



Sherry221B
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23 Jan 2014, 9:09 am

It isn't real. Love doesn't exist.



Fnord
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23 Jan 2014, 9:12 am

Love is the shared delusion between two people that they are the perfect match for each other.

Give them 7 years, two kids, a mortgage, tedious careers, and at least one major medical emergency, and then see how happy they will be then.

:wink: Been there ... done that ...



leafplant
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23 Jan 2014, 9:20 am

Fnord wrote:
Love is the shared delusion between two people that they are the perfect match for each other.

Give them 7 years, two kids, a mortgage, tedious careers, and at least one major medical emergency, and then see how happy they will be then.

:wink: Been there ... done that ...


7 year itch? oh man, it happens to the best of us



superboyian
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23 Jan 2014, 9:20 am

It literally amazes me too but what amazes me the most is, one breaks up from one relationships and somehow managed to jump into another one just like that. This I find ridiculous and it just truly amazes me. Let alone, one break up for me would take weeks to get over it.

It's a shame most people mix love with lust, it makes true love non existent.


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GiantHockeyFan
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23 Jan 2014, 9:50 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
So when I see people around my age, having been in several relationships, I think: how did that happen? How was this person so lucky to develop feelings for the other person, and the other person had this seem feelings towards him/her. It seems to go so easily and naturally for some.

I'll never understand it either. One of the reasons I'm so hesitant to permanently break off my relationship is because it was so ^$%%@# hard to find someone. I know one woman who is off the wall crazy and yet she has had 1 marriage and 4(!) different boyfriends in the time I've been in my relationship. Obviously they don't last but FFS, how do they manage to snag so many different partners? It's been so experience that the girls I dislike (crazy, unstable, weird hair colours, body piercings, etc) love me and the girls I have feelings for downright despise me. I cannot for the life of me figure out why it's so easy for so many.



Stalk
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23 Jan 2014, 10:15 am

Woman has multiple male "friends". "Friend" checks in regularly to see if she is available. If available, she "gives in". Tada -> couple created out of thin air.



Soccer22
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23 Jan 2014, 10:23 am

Always amazes me too. I have only had one boyfriend and it last only 6 months. And then there's my friend who's been in 4 relationships since 15 and ALL of them have lasted 3-4 years each. She jumps into another relationship within a month of breaking up with the last one too, everytime. I guess the difference between her and I is I'm content being single. She seems to not be content with it and HAS to have a boyfriend. I'm also really picky compared to her.



LookingLost
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23 Jan 2014, 12:13 pm

I'm really glad someone has brought this up, it's always amazed me too. :lol:


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hurtloam
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23 Jan 2014, 5:35 pm

Yup, it amazes me too. I was just thinking about this tonight. I saw this couple holding hands and it seemed surreal to me (I obviously need to get out of the house more) and I started thinking about how they managed to find each other attractive enough to want to hold hands in the first place. Never happens for me.

It seems so complicated, but people just seem to find each other. I do not understand, maybe I never will.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Jan 2014, 5:39 pm

Yeah, and especially when I see much younger people and teens having relationships after relationships like peanuts.

There' s that fundamental factor X missing in us as human beings.

Reminds me of this thread: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt164596.html

Read it, Cafe.



FMX
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23 Jan 2014, 6:01 pm

Oh yeah, it amazes me, too! I could add a few more conditions to the list, like:

Person A must realise that they like Person B
Person B must realise that they like Person A
Either Person A or Person B must actually do something to start the relationship
They must not find any "deal-breakers" with each other, at least early on
...

I don't really get how it works, but apparently, it does!


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yellowtamarin
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23 Jan 2014, 6:11 pm

"Regular" people are quite similar to one another, and there are heaps of them. They find it easier than "odd" people to find mutual attraction because of this.



Cafeaulait
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23 Jan 2014, 6:36 pm

Happy to read I am not the only one thinking this. It´s also one of the reasons why I can´t imagine having a relationship anywhere soon...



Stargazer43
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23 Jan 2014, 7:21 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
"Regular" people are quite similar to one another, and there are heaps of them. They find it easier than "odd" people to find mutual attraction because of this.


I think that this is a huge part of it. I can count on one hand the number of people I've met that I really felt a strong connection with. Whereas, if I was a huge beer-drinking mud-riding football fan with a passion for big trucks with loud engines, I could just walk out my door and find 10 people on my block exactly like me.

Even then, I still can't figure out how some even meet enough people to be in that many relationships.



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24 Jan 2014, 6:22 am

Yeah, but you get people that mirror your own feelings and then you fall in love with them, but in reality you are basically falling in love with yourself. Not realising that the other person was never in love with you in the first place.