Find Yourself, Before you find anyone else.

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I believe that you must pursue on a quest to find what your niche on life is and let things happen naturally. I've learnt after a couple of Tinder dates, that you cannot make it happen. Someone will come into your life, when you least suspect it, not when you pre-conceive it to be.

So back to my point, find what you love doing, start a career, travel if you must, I believe you will find love when you think your life cannot get any better.

Does anyone agree?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiuJicDksoQ[/youtube]

I agree with most of your post, but I wholly disagree with the quoted portion. I think that the whole "wait and someone will magically appear" message may work for some people. But I think that for many of us who have difficulties socially, it just doesn't work. Unless I put a huge effort in every day, I won't end up going on dates or meeting anyone...doing those things requires me to force myself to do those things. Even if the perfect match falls right into my lap, nothing will happen unless I put in the effort...it's much easier for me to just keep to myself and go about my own business.

Agreed. The whole "love will find you" subject is iffy. I probably have passed up...eight or more genuine opportunities that a women was "digging me." I will put effort into something I recognize is worth it, but it's too hard to recognize. If you want something, ask for it...is what I've always been told.

Also since I do not want kids, and the only women I'm interested in are ASD like myself, it really narrows the odds. Kids are a firm deal breaker. Most who want a relationship, not a one-night-stand, do want kids. Searching "does not want kids" on dating websites literally narrows down the possibilities to almost none. (there were about 2-3 women in the Los Angeles area) The only small exception is there were around 5-7 other females that did not want kids, but did not want a relationship.

I am semi-supportive of the theory of "love will find you" because when you do what you like, you are most likely to meet other people who share your interests. But isn't that an almost-given?

Yup, this sums it up pretty well. I don't agree with the "you'll find someone if you stop looking" philosophy. How many jobs have I found when I wasn't making an effort to apply for them? How often has food just appeared in my cupboard with out me making and effort to go to the shops and look for it? Nothing in life falls magically into ones lap.

But I think that it's a good idea to know who you are and what you want out of life before settling down with someone.

For sure. I've found relationships to be a bit of work as far as communication and learning to live more in sync with someone else goes, so looking for something that just magically "works," as some people think it should, could also cause someone to pass over something good.

I agree, why not it's a nice positive thought that keeps you moving forward in life.

I'm all for it.

“To say ‘I love you’ one must know first how to say the ‘I.’”

– Ayn Rand

I agree.