How to pick your life partner

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http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

That's an amazing article; truly wonderful, solid, wise advice. Thank you for posting this!

I dunno, It's not that easy to pick a life partner and I feel that guys have less power and options in picking, I assume the author is a lady. I have no doubt that women in general have the upper hand in picking.

I see all the times girls getting the guy they prescreenaly PICKED, the scenario typically goes like this: Girl likes guy, she overly talks and flirts with him and in no time he's her bf, and maybe later on her life partner.

And even if she's more traditional and less proactive, she would eventually be asked out by suitors and can pick to say yes to the best option(s).

The only category of girls who have no such power are those who never proactively go after the guys they liked *and* very rarely get asked out. But most typical girls learn early how to doll up themsleves and how to flirt.

The only picking part from the typical male perspective is in the pool of ladies they pick to pursue, often based on vague criteria, and he tries to ask them out one after another till he gets a 'yes' - and he goes for it hoping she's the one, if doesn't work, he goes on the process, this is more apparent in online dating. All this doesn't give much picking power for the males: For one, the young male might be targeting the wrong pool altogether without knowing it, and for two, after taking corrective mesures in the pool selection, hoping his one is there, but that often means a smaller pool and therefore less chances to get "yes".

Gloomy, right? In general, in the "dating market", the males are more like the job seekers, the latter have little power to work for the company they really wish to work for so their best bet is to sharp their skills and apply and hope they'll be picked by one of their dream companies, while women are more like employers -and better if proactive - like headhunters, of course the employers hire the wrong candidate sometimes.

Bobby and I were attracted to each other pretty early on We BOTH crave cuddling, so that works well. Bobby had been terribly hurt by other women, so I was a good choice. Bobby and I are both obsessesive about alleviating pain, so that was another wise choice. I find Bobbys slow pace comforting. He finds my pace exhilirating. Bobby loves to travel. So do I, but I am the logical one who knows that it is not in our budget. So I find very unnusual ways to save enormous ammoints of money. When I get overwhelmed, executive function is the first to go. Bobby enjoys playing shining hero by gently explaining where my lists are, and offering to help out when he gets home.

It works well,but we [actually I] made sure that are differences could be positives before making the decision to fall head over heels.

Thanks for the link. Being on okcupid for a while made me really think about some of the stuff in that article. I keep re-thinking what I want or what I would find acceptable when I look at women's profiles and answer the match questions. There are a lot of practicalities involved in a long-term relationship.

I'll just take any woman who picks me.

BIG MISTAKE! I thought something similar and I had a nightmare of a relationship because she "loved" me like nobody else did and I jumped at the first woman who wanted to get in bed with me. I just thank the lucky stars I did not get married or got her pregnant; she would have completely ruined my life like I have seen with other guys in my situation. You are far better off being forever single than being with an abusive woman and relationships are not all they are cracked up to be, especially with the wrong person. In the last few weeks I was shaking uncontrollably when she called as she was so out of control and had such violent mood swings.

I'm looking for another woman but will NOT compromise or sacrifice my happiness or well being for her. If that means I never find someone then I never find someone.

well thought Giant ...
women aren't all candy and sweet , just like men aren't : )

The Face, hmm well your thinking explains the action of lots of men indeed but i think there are lots of exception.

Thank you for bringing the topic up Eurika ,
The article seems interesting, helpful and informing.

That article all makes sense to me.

Of course, Boo also has a point: in order to pick you must have options to pick from. But I'm glad the beginning of that article goes to some pains to point out that being single is by no means the worst position. That's always seemed to me like an obvious point, but many people seem to disagree, especially males.

It probably is written by a woman. I guess that means I have a woman's attitude to relationships then!

That article was very interesting. A HuffingtonPost article ("This 'Tips To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person' Piece Is The Soundest Advice You'll Read", http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/02 ... 56468.html ) reference the following article, which I think has some good advice:
"10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person"
http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/158 ... ng-person/
As HuffPost mentioned, this article is from a religious site, but it contains some good, general advice. (Well, I'm not so sure about number 5 .)

You don't pick your life partner, fate chooses them for you

Maybe the article should be titled "How to Recognize Your Life Partner After Fate Has Picked Him/Her for You."

I don't want a life partner. I want to hook up with whoever I want however and whenever I want without any deleterious consequences for my life.

Since that can't happen, I am going to settle to being single and occasionally bitter about it.

Actually "wait but why" is a blog site run by two guys, one of them wrote it.




yeah, not me, sex is just not that important, I enjoy having someone to share experiences with who has the same values as I do. Where the trouble was it took 10 years to find her.

^^

Yeah, it took me 55 years to find one like that for me. Or, 30 years, if you consider that I didn't really start "looking" until I was 25. If I'd read that article when I was younger, I might not have made some of the bad choices I made in partners....