Being attractive for the less charismatically inclined

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This isn't a thread about low self-esteem: The fundamental truth is that in a group of people, be it a group of friends, workgroup or a set of online candidates, [i]someone[i] has to be the less charismatic of the group. More often than not this ends up being me, and I figure it's true for many people on the spectrum as well. That's not to say we're a drag to be around - just that our company is very rarely sought out when a multitude of funner options is available.

So my question for you is: Do you know someone (including yourself) who has had someone fall in love with them (not just a crush) in spite of him/her being not very talkative, not very funny or just plain straightforwardly awkward in a 1 on 1 conversation? What's their story? How did they hit it off?

I think it's a bit pompous to call myself an intelectual, but I do enjoy learning and discussing new things... The problem is the discussions end up being more of me listening to the other people and interjecting now and then.

Who do you turn to for advice about your physical presentation?

Decent looks alone can get you laid, but it won't get you a relationship.

Yes.


One had a long, unique, and detailed Internet profile. The other liked it and sent a message. They corresponded for a while and then met up.


Same as everyone else: one had qualities the other liked. Not everyone likes or wants charisma. It's just that simple. However, it is, I think, necessary to express oneself somehow. Have a blog or participate on a forum or make youtube videos or display artwork or something, even if you don't talk much. And, of course, one must have something to express. Read, travel, try out new hobbies, whatever it takes to put ideas into one's head. This of course will only help in attracting certain types of people. Those who like loudness, simplicity, and provinciality will not be impressed.

Well of course not everyone is looking for charisma, it's just the tool that lets the relationship happen quicker and gives more opportunities. I do travel a lot, but I also tend to summarize my thoughts on such a bit more than what a "fulfilling" conversation warrants.

But yes, I guess online dating is the way to go. I need to come up with a better page.